The Lost Snorkle
September 19th, 2010
Today has NOT been a good day. I have no idea where I am, what is going to happen to me, or who my kidnappers are. All I know is that I am not safe.
I was minding my own business, playing some games with my owner and a giant Grarrl came and took me down to an underground ruby mine. He introduced himself as Gargrall and forced me to work. After a while, it didn’t seem so bad. He fed us and didn’t have any intentions of hurting us (that we know of) – he just needed some help mining. There were a few dangerous things, such as lava and boulders, but as long as we knew not to get too close, we’d be fine. I learned this the hard way. I walked a little too close to the edge of my work area and burned my hoof.
I was chatting a little with the other Petpets that I’d been working alongside with, and they told me not to worry. They informed me of sightings of a Scorchio named Samuel, the legendary Petpet Crusader. Samuel lives to save kidnapped Petpets and bring them to safety. Though he wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, he did, in fact, show up to save us!
I say he wasn’t very smart because once he saw that my hoof was burnt, he dropped what he was doing and left to find something to help soothe the burn, instead of getting us out of the danger zone.
During this time, the other Petpets made dirty comments about how I have potentially lost their only way of getting out of there. Seriously? How was that my fault!?
Everyone finally quieted down and we went back to working – until Gargrall came in. He was with some girl. She wasn’t a Neopet or Petpet and she had a Babaa tucked under her arm. He looked terrified.
“I see you have a fine assortment of Snorkles. How do they work? They’re so clumsy and pig-like. What I have here is a Babaa. He’s smarter, handier and can get the job done WAY faster than any old Snorkle. And I’ll trade you. My Babaa for...” she pointed at me, “THAT Snorkle. I mean, look at him. His hoof is burnt. What good will he do ya?”
Gargrall pondered what she was saying a bit then finally accepted. He came over to me, grabbed me by the tail and handed me to the girl.
The next hour or so was a blur. The next thing I remember, the girl was coming at me with a knife! I have no idea what she was planning on doing, but she mentioned something about an avatar that she wanted. WHAT THE HECK IS AN AVATAR? And how could I get it for her?
Suddenly, the girl got a Neomail and was distracted for a short while. This was my time to escape, though I couldn’t run because of my hoof.
I wobbled as far away from the girl as I could and bumped into a Kyrii. He seemed nice. He asked me why I was running and said he would help me. This was clearly just a distraction. What a jerk. Two Techos came from behind him, grabbed me and stuffed me into a bag.
This is where I am right now – in a bag. I really have no idea what my location is, but it’s getting pretty cold. I could really use my Snuffly Blanket right now! ):
September 20th, 2010
I am not happy right now. I was almost eaten. Yes, you read correctly. I WAS ALMOST EATEN. Who even does that anymore? I am not a slab of pork.
So that jerk of a Kyrii and his two Techo friends took me to Terror Mountain to feed me to some creepy Snowbeast! The Techos had a big pile of petpets that they’d throw in front of the Kyrii and he’d push them into the Snowbeast’s cave to be eaten.
While they were doing this, they kept saying “Hurry! The PPL will be here any minute!” What is the PPL? Nobody tells a Snorkle anything anymore. ):
Anyway, when I was pushed towards the cave, I wasn’t pushed hard enough. I landed in the snow in front of the cave and was able to escape just in time! I ran through the snow and ended up at the doorstep of a Bori named Donny.
Donny saw my burnt hoof and said he’d repair it for me in his toy repair shop. I flipped out and yelled, “DO I LOOK LIKE A TOY TO YOU!?” He seemed to understand my anger and said he just meant that he wasn’t very skilled in repairing hooves, since his line of work is toys, but he’d try.
He put some burn heal medicine on me, wrapped me up and offered for me to stay overnight. Hopefully I’ll be safe from any Snowbeasts in here.
September 21st, 2010
I woke up this morning to the smell of hot cocoa and waffles. ...Don’t ask what those smell like. It’s a Snorkle thing – we just know. *oink oink*
Donny had made me a nice breakfast and had his grandmother knit me a scarf. Despite his angry look and tendency to say mean things such as suggesting that Snorkles are toys, he is a very nice Bori. If I had a daughter I would approve of their marriage. In fact, I’d insist on it. He’d make a fine son-in-law.
ANYWAYS, so we had our breakfast, I said my thank-yous and I departed on my adventure to return home. Wow, this was the first time I’d thought of my owner since I last saw him. Something is very wrong here.
After leaving Donny’s Toy Repair Shop, I walked down the hill a little on my newly healed hoof and ended up sliding down. This was when I realized that I was no longer walking on snow – merely ice. I was in the Ice Caves!
As I was swiftly sliding down the hill I noticed that there was an arena with jagged pointy icicles surrounding it. I was heading straight for it!
Thankfully, I was rescued at the last second.
Unfortunately, I was “rescued” by the Snowager!
The Snowager took me back to his cave and put me into a pile of junk. He then proceeded to lie on top of the pile and fall asleep.
As I was surrounded in all of this stuff I pondered why he chose me for his pile. It was mainly just a pile of Neggs. I am most certainly NOT a Negg. Something was wrong.
He woke up about an hour later and I called to him.
“Snowager, why am I in your pile?”
“WHO SAID THAT!?” he hissed back.
I was scared. He sounded M-A-D. That was not an acronym. He ....gosh, I was terrified. I thought for sure he’d eat me. He probably thought I was trying to steal his pile!
“Snowager, sir. Uh. Hello. You put me in your pile of Neggs.”
“Oh! Child, I’m sorry! Som-”
“I AM NOT A CHILD.”
“SORRY! Sometimes Neggs roll away from the Neggery and end up here. I guess I thought you...”
“YOU THOUGHT I WAS A NEGG!? LISTEN HERE, YOU BIG UGLY SNAKE. I AM A SNORKLE. A CUTE, CUDDLY, FRIENDLY, ADORABLE, SWEET, KIND SNORKLE AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU BELITTLING ME AS IF YOU WERE FIFTY FEET TALL AND I WAS JUST A FAT LITTLE MUNCHKIN.”
“EXCUSE ME, I’M TALKING. IF I HAD A NICKLE FOR EVERY TIME I’VE BEEN BELITTLED IN MY LIFE, I WOULD BE A VERY WELL-FED SNORKLE WITH AN OWNER WHO LOVES HIM LIVING IN THE FINEST NEOHOME POSSIBLY PAINTED BLUE SO I DON’T LOOK LIKE A GIRL BUT THAT ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GREEDY. I WAS KIDNAPPED AND FORCED TO WORK BY SOME GREEDY GRARRL, THEN TRADED FOR A BABAA TO SOME GREEDY NEOPIAN AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THAT KYRII. HE WA-”
It was my owner!
“Snorkie! I’ve been looking for you! You’ve been hanging out with the Snowager for the past two days?”
The Snowager, seeing that my owner was there to steal his Neggs, was only concerned with getting the angry yelling Petpet out of his cave. He allowed my owner to take me, a couple Neggs and a blue Petpet paint brush. After stopping by the Rainbow Pool, we went home to our Neovian style Neohome to feast.
And let me tell you, I feel as though I am a very well-fed Snorkle with an owner who loves me, living in the finest Neohome and enjoying actually looking like a boy.
...And maybe I’ll attend a few anger management classes.