The Secret Perils of a Mystery Island Vacation

“Please, Mommy! Take us on vacation! We want to go somewhere far away and exciting!”

This melodic chant by your neopets can certainly be tiring. After hearing it every day, you might finally want to break down and take them somewhere. But where would be a family friendly vacation spot for a neofamily with up to four members you may ask? Your budget is tight and you need somewhere fun and exciting to take them. When looking for a vacation getaway with your neopets, Mystery Island is usually the first to pop into your mind. White sandy beaches, cheap trinkets and beach side volleyball are all sure to please your little pets.

However, your little darlings are bound to get bored with just beach side games and swimming in the ocean. They’re going to want to explore the island top to bottom. But many don’t know the dangers of a vacation on Mystery Island. So before you find your nearest Techo Travel agent and book yourself a vacation to paradise, you should be warned about the Secret Perils of Mystery Island!

Techo Mountain: This mountain is less a mountain and more of a volcano. Nothing good ever involves volcanoes, especially when the volcano has a BAD TEMPER. This molten pit of doom demands offers of codestones that are going to cost you 70K more than you expected to spend on your vacation. Not only are you too broke to get home, but now there’s an angry volcano just waiting to make you and your neopets its next sacrifice!

Island Mystic: What tourist doesn’t want to get their fortune told? Unfortunately for you, it’ll require a swim across Jetsam infested waters to reach the little hut. After you finally lug yourself onto the sandy shore, there’s bound to be a line of tourists with the same great idea as you. And if waiting in line to get your fortune told wasn’t enough to deter you, then you may just find your sense of direction altered while being chased by an angry mob of Kikos. Good luck swimming back.

Island Market: So who needs a mystic to tell their fortune. Mystery Island Trading post is famous for being the center of all trade. And who knows? Trading with the natives of Mystery Island sounds like fun. Until you find yourself lost in the jungle with your arms full of your possessions and neopoints. Suddenly a potential pleasant afternoon of trading has become the worst game of Kacheek Seek in history! Hope you can find your way out of this dense jungle in time to catch your ferry ride home.

Deserted Tomb: Maybe a lost city would be better. No need to deal with volcanoes and hostile natives. A lost city is perfect because there’s nobody there to bother you. Plus, a deserted tomb sounds like fun. Treasure just waiting to be discovered! Let’s be honest, you’re not Hannah, so you certainly shouldn’t be exploring anything. But if you’re still willing to ignore all the warning signs and enter the cave, you’ve got a lot to deal with. Traps that would injure your pets and even creepy little petpets that bite certainly aren’t worth the broken vase you may receive. Hopefully your sense of direction is back to normal, or you’ll have a hard time getting out.

Training School: After that petpet bit your knee, you’re certainly in need of some self defense lessons. Plus, your little neopet wants to learn some awesome new Battledome moves to show his friends when you get home. The Training School is the perfect place to train them in the art of Kung-Fu. However, it’s not free, and you already spent all your neopoints on codestones for the very angry volcano. If the trainers don’t chase you out because you can’t pay, they certainly won’t let you leave until you get a codestone to pay them with. Hope your luck translates to Tombola!

Cooking Pot: Delicious native foods cooked fresh right in front of you. There seriously can’t be anything wrong with this. WRONG AGAIN. You’re going to have to find the perfect combination of food if you don’t want this cooking pot to blow up in your face. You better hope that your items are correct or you are going to be scraping mushy grackle bug out of your pet's fur for weeks on end.

Island Tour: Nothing else could possibly go wrong on a guided tour of the island, right? There’s a native tour guide who knows where he's going, plus the best places to have fun and remain safe. With somebody who knows the pitfalls of the island, there’s no way you could get eaten by petpets or robbed by greedy trading post merchants. The only thing it will cost you is fifty neopoints. If you can still afford to pay the guide after you’ve racked up a lot of debt, then you’re on your way. But good luck trying to get him to understand where you want to go. This native doesn’t understand you or what you’re trying to tell him. Hopefully you’re good at charades, or you might find yourself back at that very angry volcano.

The Beach: Maybe avoiding all the ‘dangerous’ attractions was more common sense than anything. A nice day at the beach can’t be dangerous, right? WRONG! We all know that Myncies are terrible at volleyball. But even if you manage to avoid a volleyball to the face, you’re still bound to get sand in your swim trunks.

Who knew planning a vacation could be so dangerous to your health? Maybe next time you should vacation in Faerieland so you’re closer to the Healing Springs. Before you start to plan a different vacation, think about this. You certainly didn’t realize the unknown perils of Mystery Island. So make sure you do your research when planning your next vacation, because Mystery Island may not be the only destination spot that may end in doom for you.