Answering the Age Old Question
Have you ever wondered about what those two (very different) little petpets are really saying? I’m talking about Meepits and Feepits, of course! Now, we have all heard about that one little Meepit who’s always meeping away about his plans for world domination while baking his batch of afternoon cookies and tea. As a Meepit owner myself, I (rat_terrier_lover_12 a.k.a. Badger), have had firsthand experience with this. But have you ever heard or wondered about what the Feepits are truly saying?
Now we have reached that age old question; if Meepits say ‘Meep’, do Feepits say ‘Feep’?
I have set out to find that very answer! I went out and spoke with a Feepit owner to see what they had to say.
You’re probably thinking, “Well of course they say ‘Feep’! It says so on their little description thingy! This is a waste of my time.”
But wait! Are Feepits really that predictable and honest? Let’s see.
My interview was with a friend of mine (chkmic8 a.k.a. Luke) who owns a very dashing Fire Feepit named Milo.
My shocking interview with them went a little like this:
“So what is your relationship like with your Feepit,” I asked Luke.
“Well, it's a very thrilling experience. He’s very fond of battles and dancing,” replied Luke.
As I scribbled down what he said, I asked Milo if he had anything to add to his owner’s response.
“Feeeeep, feepity, feepo, feep,” he chattered.
Not being able to speak Feepit, I asked, “Uh, could you, please, translate that into English? I’m afraid I don’t know Feepit.”
Milo sighed and said, “I said shouldn’t you be interviewing me and your Meepit, I mean isn’t this story about the both of us?”
Luke and I froze in shock and stared, dumbfounded at the fluffy blue creature.
“Um, Badger, is that s-supposed to h-happen?” Luke stuttered.
I glanced at him, giving him my jaw-dropped expression. After I regained the ability to speak I gasped, “You can... talk?!”
“Of course I can, you silly human! Now where is that Meepit?” Milo hissed, craning his neck in search of his pink nemesis.
Still a bit frightened, I replied nervously, “Uh, okay. Let me go get him. I’ll be back in just a moment.”
On my way out of the room, I turned to look at Luke, and he was still staring at Milo in astonishment.
When I entered the room again, I had my Pink Meepit, George, sitting on my shoulder, his eyes wide.
“Now, George, what do you think of Feepits. In English if you can, please,” I asked kindly as I placed him in an empty chair next to Milo.
George sighed and said, “Okay, fine. I find it very annoying that Feepits have this ‘Perfect Little Angel’ image when all we hear is ‘Run for your lives; it’s a Meepit!’ Because we know what is really going through those Feepity minds. I mean, have you seen those comics about that evil Feepit? THEY AREN’T ANY BETTER!”
As I franticly scribbled down his confession, I asked Milo, “Wow, what do you have to say to that, Mr. Milo?”
Looking nervous, he wiped his forehead and stuttered, “I have n-no clue what he’s talking about... Is it warm in here, or is it just me? Oh right, I am painted fire, after all... I think I need some air.” Then he bolted from the room like a speeding Yooyu.
Luke lunged out of his chair and ran after his Feepit, shouting, “Milo, get back here!”
With one of my eyes twitching slightly, I asked him as calmly as I could, “Okay then, George, what do you know about the Feepits? Or even just Milo perhaps?” I was prepared to write down every syllable he spoke.
“Feepits have a craving for battle just as much as we do. The game isn’t called ‘Meepit vs. Feepit but the Feepits really don’t want to cause any trouble’. That Feepit fights just as much. And we Meepits aren’t all that bad; some of us just want to live peacefully and bake peanut butter cookies in peace,” he admitted.
“So you’re saying Feepits are not just saying ‘Feep’? That everything is all code for world domination and sheer destruction?” I asked hastily, literally sitting on the edge of my seat now.
George took a cookie from the plate on the table and said, “Exactly.”
Jumping up from my chair, I exclaimed, “I knew it! They’re evil!”
George stopped mid-chew and swallowed quickly.
“Er, yeah. I think I am going to go now, too, if you don’t mind. I have somewhere I have to be,” he muttered, and then he ran out of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him.
I was left by myself with my earth shattering report. I was so excited, but then they came and my plans came to a screeching halt.
“Who are you?” I asked the Feepit that was dressed in the black suit and shades.
“We are not authorized to tell you that, but I am afraid that you are going to have to come with us, Miss,” he said just before two Meepits at his sides in matching suits pulled out their Sleep Rays. Everything went black until I woke up the next day, under a bridge in Roo Island, wearing a ‘Feepits for the Win’ T-shirt.
* * * * *
The next day, Milo and George were enjoying a nice glass of Juppie Juice at a restaurant in Krawk Island.
Milo took a sip of his drink and asked his friend, “So, did you tell her that whole ‘Feepits are evil’ story?”
George swallowed a mouthful of his Pineapple Banana Orange juice and replied, “Yup. It’s hilarious knowing that nobody’s ever going to believe her.”
Milo laughed and said, “We Meepits and Feepits have got the world at our paws. A feud that we’ve created to hide our friendship and desired to one day rule the-”
But Milo was cut off by my deranged self bursting through the door.
“AH-HA!” I screamed, “I knew it! It’s all an act, a façade, a scam! I will tell the world about you and your little friends! Just wait!”
George’s glass of juice fell from his hand and shattered into a million pieces on the floor.
“Meep. Meep,” he said flatly as one of his tiny ears twitched.
Milo froze and stared at me blankly before simply uttering, “Feep. Feep.”
My eye twitched and then I heard the door burst open behind me. Spinning around, I caught a glance at the Feepit in the black suit pointing his ray gun at me for a split second before I blacked out once more.
* * * * *
I woke up and found the secret agent Feepit thumbing through my notes from my interview with George and Milo; the Feepit was laughing hysterically.
“Hey! What’s so funny?” I yelled at him angrily as I glanced nervously around the room.
He clutched his desk for support, eventually caught his breath, and gasped, “Do you really think that anyone is going to believe you?!”
I just stared at him as two Meepits in matching white lab coats carried me away.
* * * * *
So, in the end, my conclusion is: yes. Meepits say ‘Meep’ and Feepits say ‘Feep’. End of story. Just drop it before they come for you too.