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A Neopian's Tour Guide to Meridell

by nickjames912


Ahh, Meridell, a land ruled by the grumpy old King Skarl. Why on Neopia would someone want to plan a vacation here? Well, why wouldn’t you? There are so many fun things to do with your pet!

1. Meri Acres Farm

At the northernmost part of Meridell, you can find Meri Acres Farm, a place where you can tour some classic farmland with your neopet and see how the residents of Meridell make their hard-earned living. First you’ll want to visit Pick Your Own, where a nice Gelert farmer will let you find and keep your own berries, for just 400 neopoints! With a sharp eye, you may be able to find and pick the much-envied delicacy known as the dungberry... or not.

Once you are done picking berries, you might notice some odd green things squirming around on the ground. Ahh! Slorgs are attacking! Play Attack of the Slorgs and fend off the invading army, or else that generous farmer may lose his land to these not-so-cute creatures!

Phew, so now that the slorgs have been stopped it’s time to visit the greatest tourist attraction – the Rubbish Dump! Erm... I mean, Guess the Weight! Here you can visit the largest marrow known to Meridellians, named Old Bessie. The Wocky here will let you make your own free guess as to how much you think this massive vegetable weighs, and if you are correct, you can win an amazing marrow-themed prize!

And while you are leaving the farm, make sure you participate in Meridell’s oldest and most famous pastime: potato counting! Depending on how radical you are, you can choose from regular old potato counting in which you just count some boring old motionless potatoes, or extreme potato counting, in which you must count waves of potatoes hurdling through the air in every which way! I think you know which one to pick. ;)

2. The Castle

Ahh, the Castle, the southernmost part of Meridell where the grumpy King Skarl resides... I mean, the wonderful King Skarl (shh... his guards are watching). If you somehow manage to sneak in, which I wouldn’t recommend, visit Kayla’s potionery. She may have some special potions that could help you out in your perilous journey.

Also, be very careful, as there is an evil Skeith named Snargan who may try and trick you into playing a game of Double or Nothing, but beware, for he is the master of cheating. That’s right, not even the legendary Spectre can beat Snargan.

Anyway, there is currently a war raging between Meridell and Brightvale, so time your visit carefully. If you are unlucky, you may be caught in the middle of an invasion, and the only way to survive is to join Meridell’s army and save the villages in Invasion of Meridell!

Now for the best part of your trip, if you are miraculously lucky, you may just be able to pay a visit to King Skarl himself. Just know that he is a growing boy and needs to eat, and often he takes hour breaks to feast on Meat Kabob, his favorite food. If you are lucky enough to catch him while he isn’t busy, however, try cheering him up! He loves hearing jokes. If your joke is funny enough, you could win a spectacular prize! Tell a lame joke, however, and you face getting sent to the barracks to pay for wasting his time.

Now, if you have made it this far, it’s time for possibly the most challenging part of your trip: Escaping the castle. Sure you can try running for the door, but you have a very slim chance of making it past the Moehog troops. It would be wiser to team up with Valrigard the Draik and escape the castle together. There’s even a game for that you can practice!

3. The town of Meridell

Okay, so you’ve paid a visit to the farm, and you’ve gone through a life-risking adventure in the castle. Now what is there to do? Visit the rest of Meridell, of course! Oh, there is so much to do!

First, head on over to the northeastern edge of the town and you’ll find the newest craze – cheese rolling! Just buy some cheese from a crazy Techo, and roll it down a hill as fast as possible. If you can reach the bottom of the hill with your cheese still in one piece within 60 seconds, you win... cheese!

Now go see the earth faerie Illusen over at her glade. If she is up for it, she may give you a quest. Her quests can be very tough, and there is a time limit, but if you can bring her the item she asks for within the time, you can earn points, and occasionally with fantastic prizes from Illusen herself. Complete all 50 of her quests and win the grand prize – an Illusen Staff, one of the best Battledome weapons in the game!

Okay, so you’re all done with that. Now why don’t you go pay a visit to the old Turmaculus? He sleeps all day, but if your brave petpet is able to wake him up, you could win a spectacular prize!... or have your petpet eaten. It’s up to you if you’d like to take that risk.

Now that’s no good if your petpet was eaten, right? Why don’t you pay a visit to the Ixi shopkeeper of Ye Olde Petpets to get a new one? I’ve always found Hoovles to make great companions. ;)

Now by this point I’m sure you’re starved, and the Meerca over at Merifoods has just what you need. Go buy some yeasty bread, chunky meaty soup, or if you’re lucky... a Draik egg! However, I wouldn’t recommend eating a Draik egg, as it may cause a Draik to live inside your stomach. You wouldn’t want that, right?

Alright, so you’re almost done with your visit, but there’s always more to do in Meridell, right? Right! You can’t forget about the great games. Go play Round Table Poker, but make sure you don’t get too addicted. Or try some Ultimate Bullseye! Show off your archery skills and win some great neopoints! How about Kiss the Mortog? Okay, it may not sound like fun, but the princess needs you!!! Play some Shapeshifter where you, err... shift shapes! And last but not least, possibly the greatest pastime in all of Meridell... Turdle Racing! That’s right, simply step right up, place your bets on the turdle of your choice, and if you win, you can win all the way up to nine times your money!!! How about that?

So as you can see, Meridell isn’t just some old, boring, medieval tourist spot. It’s a land of contemporary fun to be had by all. So go over and kiss a mortog today! :)

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