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The HEROES of Meridell? OR NOT?!


by zirr

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PSELLIA, the mysterious air faerie and hero of Meridell, OR COLD-BLOODED WINDCHILL WOMAN, WHO BRINGS NOTHING BUT FROSTBITE?

The Gossip, Speculation and Defamation of Character's chief reporter, Leinte, may have uncovered some seriously CHILLING facts about this so called 'hero'. She may have not saved Jeran on purpose, but rather as a slip as she tried to KILL HIM.

No one knows much about Psellia, as she has been conspicuous only in her absence since the famous Meridell / Darigan war. We all thought she was on the 'good' side, the Meridellian side, but what if she was, in fact, a traitor?! Did you ever wonder how Darigan Citadel stayed afloat on all that AIR? Have you ever wondered what cushions the Kass in Kass Basher so that it is not SHATTERED every time we hit it? That's it, AIR! Think about how much help Kass had from trusty air, and then maybe you will start to broaden your mind, and accept the fact that all may not have been sound...

That's right, Leinte can proudly speculate that she MIGHT have been working for Lord Kass all the time, as a mole, a thorn in the trusty and loyal Meridell's side. The fact that she aided his downfall must be eating away inside her as she revels in the mysterious hero spotlight – and now we know why she has always acted to suspiciously absent ever since the battle!

Air is a notoriously tricky and devious element (have you ever PLAYED Faerie Bubbles? I rest my case), and this DEVIOUS character is no exception. While Jeran fought bravely against Kass, Psellia MAY have been scaling up to the Citadel with her magical skills of manipulating air. The moment Jeran fell must have been the moment this traitorous evil-loving dark faerie was reaching the Citadel, as Jeran tumbled out right on top of her and THAT is how she saved him.

Heroes, REVEALED FOR WHAT THEIR TRUE STORIES MAY HAVE BEEN.

KING SKARL, the grumpy but well meaning ruler of peaceful Meridell, OR A WAR-OBSESSED CRAZY OLD MAN, WHO NEEDS TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO A NICE FAERIELAND HOME?

There has been MUCH speculation (started by yours truly and based on nothing whatsoever) that King Skarl is losing his marbles – no, indeed, may have lost them YEARS ago, when the war against Darigan started.

Now, King Skarl has lived through his fair share of wars, and there seems to be nothing to suggest he would back down any time soon. Unless he is forced to by his royal subjects, as we groundlessly accuse him of anything we can thing of, and place seeds of doubt where there were none before!

Skarl is old, his brother was always the clever one, and he was driven insane by a Court Dancer the last time there was trouble in his world – and what a world of madness it is! Have you seen what this man lets go on in his kingdom? Turmaculus, a giant petpet who eats petpets and sleeps all day, is permitted to just laze about taking up about half of his world, and King Skarl turns a blind eye. Merifoods, where a blatantly black market trade of REAL Draik Eggs is stocked occasionally and underhandedly, though everyone knows, is allowed to stay open – a place whose main other output is potatoes in many shapes, sizes, colours, and forms, but always alone. Kiss the Mortog, well, how much do I REALLY have to say about this? A game of kissing Mortogs, and hoping you go mad enough that you'll imagine one of them turns into a prince or princess?! King Skarl, with his melted brain, must surely be the 'best' at this game.

The man has lost his marbles! His world is a shambles; he still has Darigan Citadel hovering over the northern edge. (It's not like that problem was ever really fixed – they won the war, but Darigan is allowed to regroup whenever they want – usually around the Altador Cup times...)

How long can it be until someone else has a go at Meridell, with its fragile and barmy leader, King Skarl?

And then there's sweet, sweet...

LISHA, the wonderful girl who rescued King Skarl from the charms of the Court Dancer, OR THE GIRL WHO REALLY TURNED THE KING'S BRAIN TO GRUEL FOR HER OWN MEANS?

Ever noticed how happy Lisha is now Meridell is being left alone? The King changes nothing, as we've already logically proved that he's insane, which means she can frolic with her friend playing nonsense games like SHAPESHIFTER and picking all sorts of suspicious berries from Meridell Farm.

Everyone credited her with the rescue of the King, but what did she really do to break the Court Dancer's spell? We have reason to believe that actually, she simply transferred the hypnotism object to herself, so that she could control the King as the Court Dancer had! Her intentions may seem more wholesome, but is hypnotising a King ever really innocent? We think not!

She is also the little sister of the major hero of Meridell, JERAN, the knight who the King enlisted to save his country, who was saved by Psellia, and who now enjoys some good catching up time with his sister.

JERAN, don't be so ridiculous, we're not going to spread any vicious rumours about him, he's too cute! *gush gush gush* I mean, come on, he's a Knight and everything! We'd be crazy to think anything bad about him ...

We at the Gossip, Speculation and Defamation of Character Column insist that these matters be looked into immediately, however! Jeran may be a true gentleman and a true hero, but these other so-called 'HEROES' of Meridell are all, in fact, frauds – traitors and crazy people and liars and manipulators, and the History of Meridell needs to be re-written to include our hard-earned conclusions! The appropriate bodies will be reading the Neopian Times, and they had better take us seriously, as the Villains take too much of the blame when the 'HEROES' are all fakes!

(except Jeran, of course!)

 
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