The Top Ten Fattiest Foods in Neopia
Neopians have long enjoyed healthy foods provided by Health Frog, and often he strives to create meals that enhance the health of Neopians in general. This list compiles creations of food that would make Health Frog scream. It would make the trainers at the Grundo’s Gym cringe at their tables whilst reading their morning copy of the Neopian Times. Fat, grease and oil all play a role in these often luscious creations. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the top ten fattiest foods in Neopia (listed in no particular order).
Strawberry Shimmer Cake
There was much controversy when the Breadmaster created the Strawberry Shimmer Cake. Critics immediately pointed out the fat content of this glamorous looking creation. Caramel sauce dripped from the sides of the cake and light literally shimmered from the sugar crystals on the sides. However, when cut open, customers were often salivating in their mouths; there were even some reports of Neopians fainting from such a sight. The luscious strawberry cake was moist to a heavenly level. However, the Breadmaster’s secret to such a creation was only kept for so long, until critics panned him to give it up. His secret: lots and lots of sugar and butter.
Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate. No dessert is complete without a chocolate meal. So, with this in mind, the Golden Dubloon decided to create their only chocolate dessert. Unfortunately, they didn’t create a chocolate meal. The chefs went one step further; the pirates created a chocolate bomb. More chocolate “than you can possibly imagine” is in this small, pie like creation. Rich, gooey chocolate oozes from the chocolate. A thick, dark chocolate sauce coats the chocolate underneath. This is truly a chocolate delight. And it definitely doesn’t let its description down, promising a highly calorific dessert.
The strange combination of cheese and chocolate is sometimes seen as the unhealthiest combination of foods, ever. The creators at the Food Shop wanted to try it out, and this was the result. This drink, if you could call it that, is made up of rich melted chocolate and thick, gooey cheese. The combination of sweet and savoury is a force to be reckoned with. The Cheesy Chocoshake is high in both sugar and fat, and the calorie content is off the charts, making it one of Neopia’s fattiest foods.
Extra Crispy Bacon Gum
Gum comes in all flavours; berry, chocolate, even dandruff. Fortunately, none of these are the actual product themselves (Dandruff gum only has a little bit of dandruff, I’m told). Despite this, there is one that is the true to its word. No flavours, no added colours. Bacon gum is actual bacon, in its greasy and oily entirety. Also, unlike traditional gum, this is edible, since most of it is bacon, the rest oil and fat. And now, this gum comes with extra grease!
A Cheeseburger is one of the most well known ‘junk’ foods in Neopia. Also, despite not being on this list, it’s one of the fattiest foods in Neopia. Now, double everything you see in a Cheeseburger. Calorie content, saturated fat, sodium, etc. What you have now is the Ultimate Burger. Two succulent and juicy beef patties, oil seeping and oozing from the meat, sit between three buns, and four slices of melted cheese sit below the patties. This burger is truly, the ultimate burger; fattening, greasy, and the ultimate junk food.
The Island Faeries are often known for their creations of fruit and island themed foods through the use of the Cooking Pot. Despite this ‘tradition’, the Island Faeries came up with this fatty and tasty creation. It was quite simple; BBQ Pork inside two slices of bread. The BBQ Pork lends its fattiness and taste to the bread, and overall a tangy, delicious meal is made. However, the fat content and the numerous calories in this sandwich will not only guarantee you a delicious and mouth-watering meal, but your pet will gain weight. As a result of this, Skeiths are usually banned by their owners from eating this treat.
Quadruple Fudge Cheese Wedge
Traditionally cheese is made from milk, which is mainly from the Kau Kau farm. However, this meal is one hundred percent fudge. No, the cheese is not cheese. The cheese is pure fudge; mouth-watering, smooth, and extremely rich. To top this off, the wedge of ‘cheese’ is drizzled with more fudge, this time in a form of hot fudge. This meal is not suited for those with a weak heart, or for those who have a high blood pressure.
Batter Corn Dog
The ultimate street food, the corn dog is notoriously unhealthy due to being deep fried. Despite this, Hubert decided to go one better; forget the sausage. Batter was the best part of the corn dog. So he decided to create a corn dog entirely made up of oily, deep fried batter. No sausage. No meat. Absolute batterness in its entirety. So no meat, no flavour, lots of oil. What is there to like about it? Well... it’s crunchy!
Deep-Fried Galactic... Food Mass
When Gargarox decided to release this meal into Neopia, there was much cry from various other food stores. After all, wasn’t it just the gunk left in the deep fryers at the Grundo Café? Despite this, Gargarox claimed that this deep fried mass was a gourmet treat and today still feeds many Neopians on their quest to being a gourmet. The bits and pieces that make up this floating meal are literally saturated with oil and grease, instantly making it one of Neopia’s fattiest foods.
Deep frying something is an act to be carefully watched, as to not lose the flavour of the object you’re frying and turn the flavour into oil. Unfortunately, the Breadmaster, having minimal experience with deep fryers, has fried one of his pies and turned it into this object. Completely saturated in oil, the Deep-Fried Pie is hardly a pie. It is more comparable to a lump of deep fried dough; however, not a doughnut. Being saturated with oil and grease, the pie in essence is half dough, half oil.
So there you have it. The top ten fattiest foods in Neopia. Ten foods to scare Health Frog with.