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The Golden Dubloon: The Review

by yayzz_1245


THE GOLDEN DUBLOON - the place to be for all gourmets traveling to the pirate residence of Krawk Island. The restaurant is renowned for the unique pirate cooking style and cuisine which is truly one of a kind in Neopia. As I traveled to Krawk Island, I wondered about the price of each meal, and the dining experience that was to unfold. Thankfully I had my pocket stuffed with dubloons, but was it going to be worth it? As I stepped aboard the shipwrecked restaurant, the sound of mellow laughter immediately filled my ears. The smell of grog was strong, but not overwhelming. It seemed suiting for this place.

As I entered the wooden arch, an old Lupe stood in my way. So this is Captain Hackett, I thought. He immediately asked if I had any dubloons, and I said yes. Wow, this Lupe is... serious... about his job, I thought. He began lecturing to me about the rules of the Golden Dubloon, the time limit and the menus. As I nodded carefully, I tried not to look at him as he looked at me with a strict stare. As he finished, he led the way to my own table. As I cautiously followed him, the immediate crowd was obvious: pirates. I was a ‘landlubber’, and I stood out like a sore thumb. The old Lupe handed me four menus, and went on his way to the bar. Trying not to stare at the vast number of wooden legs or eye patches, I glanced at my menu.

The menu itself was very worn, and obvious that it had been used to order the numerous meals countless times. I hadn’t realized this until now but I was very hungry; perhaps this had been overlooked by the directness of the Captain of the Golden Dubloon. I looked at the starters, and immediately eliminated the Caesar Salad from my options; I was quite hungry, and a simple salad wouldn’t suffice. I also decided that the Tropical Breeze was too sweet for me; a range of tropical fruits for a starter? It sounded more like a dessert.

The Shiver Me Shrimp and Oyster Obsession both sounded and looked quite scrumptious; however, they both didn’t take my fancy. The Tomato Cannonball looked more like a Smooshed Tomato from the Meridellian kitchens; that was a no. The Double Stuffed Guppy was extremely expensive, being five dubloons for a starter; however, it looked like a unique treat. So that was off the list. The Crusty Clam Surprise looked delectable: a clam shell filled with the clam meat combined with a variety of other ingredients.

As I flipped to the Main Course menu, I saw an impressive array of meals that were displayed; however, I immediately cringed at one meal: the Slithering Squid Surprise. The purple tentacles rising from the plate just didn’t say ‘scrumptious meal’ to me. It looked like too much of a surprise. As I glanced at the remaining seven dishes, another dish stood out to me that looked like something from the Haunted Woods: Bilge Rat Madeira. The unpleasant sight of a rat with an ugly brown sauce made my stomach churn. So that was definitely off the list. I also decided that I was too hungry to eat even Barnacle Bill’s Belt Busting Burger; I wanted something to make me full, not just a ‘gigantic burger’. A REAL meal. However, the name and use of alliteration was quite humorous, and lightened up the scene after the encounter with the mood of Captain Hackett.

The ‘Our Famous Krawk Pie’ and Loretta Fontaine’s Perfect Pizza both looked absolutely delightful; however, they both shared the same fate as Barnacle Bill’s Burger. They just didn’t look like they qualified as a classy dish for my dinner. The Headless Horsefish looked like a unique dining experience, but the description of ‘tangy, spicy’ flavour didn’t sound right for my taste buds. In the end I finally chose Cap'n Threelegs Cutlass Crusade as my choice for the Main Course: a large succulent steak, served with jacket potato and asparagus, and as the description read ‘served rare’. And it even came with a sword!

As I gazed at the dessert menu, I decided against ordering the Fun Pops almost immediately. I felt it wasn’t just the right way to finish off a grand meal. The rest of the meals looked scrumptious, except for one: the Forbidden Plunder. The amount of chocolate in this meal looked sky-high and supposedly the calories as well. Deciding with my better judgment, my waistline and for my better well being, I decided that this wasn’t going to be my dessert. The Squid on a Stick was on the same road of the Fun Pops, and besides, this ‘slithery treat’ looked most unappetizing.

The Blueberry and Oyster Ice Cream sounded quite adventurous, but being quite tired and hungry, I decided not to try this interesting combination of ice cream. The Pinnana Paradise looked quite pleasant, but the amount of Pinnana in this sorbet would have made the flavour quite overwhelming. The Krakuberry Cove, a cheesecake “made from fresh Kraku Berries, drizzled with Kraku Berry sauce”, looked and sounded gorgeous.

As for cocktails, I decided a colourful drink would end my feast at the Golden Dubloon and this was definitely going to be the Man O War. Looking like a refreshing, fruity beverage and being rather unique amongst the grogs and the pops, this looked like a real treat. Aside from this, the only other cocktails I would’ve gone for was the Walk the Plank, a strong flavour complimented by a small olive, or even perhaps the Land Lubber, which was a fruity yet potent cocktail. I also decided against the infamous Hogshead as it was ten dubloons and the most expensive ‘meal’ at the Golden Dubloon would put a large hole in my wallet, and perhaps given me a bad case of Bloaty Belly.

I called the famous waitress Loretta Fontaine to my table; she was friendly, and was very efficient. Soon enough the food was presented in front of me. The entire feast smelt wonderful. The Crusty Clam Surprise was a fantastic way to begin the feast, a combination of fragrant herbs and truly mouth-watering clams. Cap'n Threelegs Cutlass Crusade was very tasty and flavoursome. The meat was seasoned to perfection; however, the meat was a bit too rare for my liking. The Krakuberry Cove was a delectable end to my feast; the sweet flavour of the berries and sauce complimented the cheesecake very well. The Man O War was a completely refreshing cocktail and the tastes weren't overwhelming, which was excellent. Overall a very unique cuisine with wonderful flavours and a whole new dining experience.

As I approached the counter, I was thankful that Captain Hackett wasn't around and gratefully paid my bill. As I walked out the wooden archway, I knew one thing. I would be back to this place. Although the welcome wasn't at all pleasant, the food was truly excellent, and one of a kind in Neopia. Despite the shortcomings of various meals on the menu, the food was a true delight to eat, unique and had a previously unexplored culinary style to it. You just have to choose the right meals. As I stepped onto the wooden deck, I wondered what was the best thing to do after a filling meal at the Golden Dubloon. Perhaps a game of Krawps? Or perhaps to the cabin to sleep with a belly full of pirate delicacies.


Food: 8/10

Service: 7/10

Dining Experience: 9/10

Overall 24/30

Excellent. A one-of-a-kind dining experience, a must for any gourmet enthusiast.

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