22 Instruments to Make You 97% Cooler
Do YOU have lots of time on your hands? Do you just sit around the house, wishing for something to do? Do you... do you... I’m running out of questions. Well, anyway, you need a hobby. And a life, but a hobby will be much easier to do. So!
Here’s your solution for salvation. Play an instrument! Just to make it easy for you, and because I’m just that nice, I have compiled a list of the coolest instruments in Neopia. It took me days, weeks, months! I toiled and toiled over this list; stayed up until early morning burning the midnight oil. And for what? So you can get two Pteris with one stone this way; get a hobby AND a life! And so, on with the list!
Ah, the brass instruments. Gotta love these guys! So, the coolest brass instruments in Neopia are:
Fire Trumpet- This instrument is just so HAWT! *cough* Oh, sorry, bad joke. Anyway, it’s hard not to admire someone who can play this and not burn themselves to a crisp.
Flame-throwing Trombone- The only instrument that is both awesome and a fiery weapon. If you’re a fan of making people run in fear for their lives every time you play, this is definitely for you.
French Horn of Winter- B-b-b-brrrr! Is it cold in here, or is that just my instrument? (My pets: “It’s your instrument.”) Oh. Well, this just has so many pretty colors. The only problem is, you need gloves and a winter coat to be able to stand the freezing temperatures!
Yep, the “reedy” instruments. Yay for woodwinds! The coolest of this group are:
Faerie Saxophone- It has pretty pink wings and it sounds amazing! You can’t go wrong with this girly choice. Unless you’re a guy. Then it’s just awkward.
Snow Clarinet- This cool instrument takes a light touch to play! If you squeeze it too hard, it’ll disintegrate in your hands. Guess that’s the downside of snow... isn’t it cute, though?
Marshmallow-launching Oboe- Another instrument/weapon! Makes me wonder what TNT’s up to. What are they thinking, giving our pets dangerous weapons?! Anyway, you can power-launch marshmallows super-fast from this hazardous option.
Disco Flute- Far outtttt, man. This instrument is so groovy, you’ll never want to put it down. Groovy! And pretty colors...
Uni Recorder- Not just for Unis, this instrument is a good choice for anyone wanting to learn a cool but easy instrument. As an added plus, its chubby shape makes it easily graspable for small hands.
Peanut Harmonica- Who doesn’t love a harmonica shaped like a peanut?! (My pets: “People with peanut allergies?”) Uh. Well. I guess so. But my point is, it’s pretty darn cool and not at all hard to learn.
Bagpipes- I just had to put this in here because bagpipes are so splendid. Yay for bagpipes! *hands you a kilt and bagpipes*
Different than both the brass and woodwind sections, these are normally what we think of when we hear “orchestra.” So here’s the cream of the strings crop:
Shell Violin- This violin is obviously and clearly the prettiest of the violins, and probably of the string instruments, too. Crafted from beautiful seashells, the Shell Violin is guaranteed to help you become cooler. As long as you don’t drop it.
Pteri Feather Cello- Wait, what? An instrument made out of Pteri feathers?! I could’ve sworn that Neopet cruelty was against the Neopets Terms and Conditions, but apparently not. *grumbles* Anyway... cellos. Yeah. Cool instruments.
(NOTE: There are so many guitars in Neopia that I picked a few for this list, instead of one. Enjoy!)
Axe Guitar- Here’s another of those weapon instruments. Careful, it’s sharp! Perhaps TNT is trying to tell us we should be more violent. O_o But... it looks pretty cool, right? The guitar is one of those instruments that are widely accepted as stylish.
Rock Guitar- OWW! I dropped it on my foot! My Fyora, this thing is heavy. I don’t recommend it for small pets, but it is a nice instrument, I guess...
Origami Guitar- I’m... not sure how you play this thing... *turns it over* Well, there doesn’t seem to be any strings or frets whatsoever. So... this is one for the gallery, huh? For display only.
Jhudora’s Harp- Who wouldn’t love a beautiful harp with that edgy Jhudora sound? And as an added bonus, you get her scowling face staring at you from the front of the harp. Uh... I think I’ll put this back now. She might get angry.
Couldn’t have an instrument guide without the drums! Here I’ve picked out the very best of percussion, including the piano:
Valentine Piano- Aww, how sweet. Imagine how smitten your sweetie will be when you play them a song on your very own Valentine Piano! It also has cute hearts imprinted on every... single... area of it...
Jelly Triangle- If you can figure out how to play it, this will be a great instrument! The floppiness of jelly seems to be a problem, as the whole action of playing a triangle involves striking it. Jelly doesn’t strike well. This is another one for display.
Selket Castanets- Definitely the most beautiful of the castanets, this instrument’s rich blue color will have you wanting to play it forever! It doesn’t exactly have much competition in the castanet beauty contest, though... but who cares! It’s pretty!
Mega Kau Bells- I have a fever... and the only prescription... is more cowbell. Or, rather, Kau Bell. The more the merrier! The Mega Kau Bells will have your pets mooing for more.
Red Maracas- Just as visually appealing as the Disco Flute, these maracas are colorful and sure to please even the pet that can’t play anything! All you do is shake them.
Polka Dot Accordion- Cute polka dots adorn this folk music staple. It’s also pretty easy to play.
That, my friends, brings us to the end of this article. You now know twenty-two instruments that will give you something to do AND make you ninety-seven percent cooler! Go out into the world and share the good news and some music.