An Interview With the Tooth Faerie

Interviewer: You don't know how excited I am to do this interview! I've always wanted to sit down and talk to you. I can't help but notice that your teeth are like pearls! How do you get them so white?

Tooth Faerie: Oh, thank you! Well, being the Tooth Faerie, I do know all the tricks to getting white teeth. I suggest you go out and buy something from my designer tooth paste line. It's created by the best! I use it after every meal and snack. Of course, I also have an ultra powerful tooth brush not available to the public yet, but it will be soon!

Interviewer: Amazing! I'll be sure to buy your tooth paste! Anything to help with the plaque. Now, I must ask: How do you manage getting all around the world in just one single night?

Tooth Faerie: It's very difficult, I'll tell you that! Back in the good ol' days, I had to fly as fast as my little wings could take me. Sometimes I would get to somebody's home and put their Neopoints under the pillow right as they were waking up! Thankfully, I now have a great little car. It has jets in the bottom, so I can fly extremely fast and get where I need to be right on time, if not early! Thanks, Fyora!

Interviewer: I need to get myself one of those cars! Now, tell me: What do you do when you get caught taking somebody's teeth?

Tooth Faerie: I absolutely hate it when I wake the Neopet up! Luckily, I always keep a little bag of a special dust that makes somebody fall asleep. I got it from the Light Faerie... Why she had sleeping dust, I'll never know. Of course, even if I use the sleeping dust, the person remembers when they wake up! Luckily, most neopets assume it was just a dream. And those who don't aren't really believed when they tell people they saw the Tooth Faerie.

Interviewer: Now, how is your relationship with the other faeries?

Tooth Faerie: It's wonderful. They also let me borrow useful things to help my job be a little bit easier. However, whenever I remind them to floss and brush after every meal, they always get quite annoyed. I don't know why. I'm just trying to help their dental hygiene! Heaven knows they need it.

Interviewer: Many people believe you to be stuck up and bothersome. Do you have any idea why?

Tooth Faerie (sighing): I had a feeling this question would come up, and I was really dreading it.

Interviewer: Oh, well in that case, I suppose we could skip it for now. My interview would be incomplete, but I guess...

Tooth Faerie: No, no, I'll answer it. What people need to understand is that I really do care. I'm not criticizing your teeth to mean! I'm trying to help you. I just want everybody to be the healthiest they can be, and that includes dental health! So, when I say, "You have halitosis, your gums are bleeding, and you have plaque everywhere, go brush your teeth right now!" I'm just helping you. How can somebody address their problem if they don't know it's there?

Interviewer: Thank you for answering that question. I'm sure after reading that people will look at you in a new light!

Tooth Faerie: I hope so.

Interviewer: So, where do you get all the money to put underneath Neopets' pillows? How much money do you leave every night?

Tooth Faerie: Uh... I would rather leave that confidential. I would have to speak with my people about whether or not I can answer those questions.

Interviewer: I understand. Does it REALLY help to always brush and floss?

Tooth Faerie: Of course! I wouldn't recommend it if it didn't! Brushing gets rid of plaque and makes your teeth white as snow! And if you don't floss, all that corn and kernels and other junk will build up in between your teeth. It will smell and repulse other people.

Interviewer: Thanks for sharing that advice with everybody! Now, one more question, and we'll wrap this interview up. Has all this fame gotten to your head?

Tooth Faerie: I hope not! Sure, I might like to brag sometimes, and people are ALWAYS asking to endorse their tooth care items, but I only do that when I think it's necessary and when I think the tooth care items are as good as they want to me to say they are! I think I am genuinely just as kind as I was before this whole "famous" thing started hundreds of years ago. I still try to remain upbeat and friendly through everything.

Interviewer: Truly inspiring. Thank you for having this great interview with me! You really cleared up some controversial issues.

Tooth Faerie: You're very welcome! Oh, and before I go... You may want to brush those back molars, they look so yellow!

Interviewer: Oh... Um... Thanks for the advice, I guess. I'll remind my editor to leave that last comment out.

So there you have it, folks! The Tooth Faerie is unbelievably friendly, and truly cares about other people's health. No wonder all the other faeries lend her things! And, contrary to popular belief, she just wants to help everybody! So, if you all band together and say NO to unwanted gunk in our teeth, we can make this amazing, talented, and caring faerie's job a little easier.