Myncies and Their Food: The Truth is Revealed
Greetings, my dear, fellow Neopians. I have heard a most unsettling rumor, a rumor that has kept me up many nights without sleep. In fact, my mood has worsened from delighted to extremely happy. As a result, I had to play with a Purple Mynci Plushie five times. It was dreadful and undignified.
Who am I? Forgive me, I completely forgot to introduce myself! My name is Svadhishthana of Shenkuu and I am a royal Mynci. With this said, I know that Svadhishthana is a mouthful so you can call me Thana.
So you must be wondering, what is the rumor that I previously spoke of? My dearest reader, I thought you would never ask. It has many terrible facets and it concerns my species, the Mynci, and our eating habits. There are so many misconceptions I must remedy. Let me begin at once.
1) The Dreadful Banana Nonsense.
Call me snobby, but I abhor bananas. You ask yourself, “How can this be? Thana is a Mynci and all Myncies love bananas!” Well, my reader, it is my intention to quash any of your preconceived notions about my species. Indeed, I am a Mynci but I can assure you that I will never eat a banana ever again. I can remember the first day I ever tried one...
Kathleen, my owner: Thana! I have a treat for you. You will absolutely LOVE it.
Me: Really? Please unveil this delectable morsel for me. (how naïve I was!)
Kathleen: TADA!! Mynci Delight. It’s a banana slathered in cream. Perfect for my little princess. *trips over herself in adoration*
Me: It looks scrumptious, but I would rather not eat it yet...
Kathleen: Please? Just one bite? I’m sure you will like it. It is called a Mynci Delight after all. They couldn’t have named it that without a reason. Myncies everywhere must adore it.
Me: Alright. I give in. I’ll take a bite.
And with that, I ran off to the neohome bathroom and daintily cleansed my mouth. Perhaps other Myncies like Mynci Delights, but I certainly do not. And I have reason to believe that there is one other Mynci who finds bananas as distasteful as I do. You must recognize this particular Mynci:
It’s Hubert. What does this vendor sell? Hotdogs, not bananas. Now, I do not particularly enjoy hotdogs either; I prefer gourmet foods. However, I believe this to be adequate proof that the idea that all Myncies love bananas is entirely false. Perhaps some of us do, but it is not as widespread as all you Neopians seem to believe.
2) The Preposterous Idea That Myncies Eat In Strange Places
Some people believe that Myncies fly through the trees collecting food along the way. Others think that we scavenge our meals upon the plains. Well, this is utter falsehood! I would never allow myself to act so strangely. Personally, I sit down to elegant banquets with the finest society that Neopets has to offer. Why, just last week I dined with King Hagan. Also, I have never climbed a tree in my life. Perhaps those wild Tyrannian Myncies dine upon the plains and maybe someone mistook a nesting Pteri to be a Mynci in the trees. I can state with absolute certainty that no Mynci in my acquaintance has ever dined in such an absurd place.
3) Ridiculous Rumors About Throwing Food
Lastly, I have heard a distressing rumor that concerns happenings in the Concert Hall. Everyone knows that Myncies love the band M*YNCI more than any other band in Neopia. Do not fret, that particular rumor is completely true. I am always singing one of my favorite M*YNCI songs around my neohome.
Kathleen: She isn’t exaggerating. When she says always, she means always. That’s why I wear these *points to earplugs*
Pardon my owner’s rude interruption. It is also well known that we Myncies cannot stand any band other than M*YNCI. That is also a true report. But what is completely ridiculous is the accusation that we throw food objects at other bands. I believe this rumor was started by the leader of Jazzmosis, who is simply jealous that he is an Elephante instead of a beauteous Mynci. Personally, I never throw food at other bands. I throw unwanted Key Quest prizes instead!
4) The Worst of All: The Tale About Stick-O-Mynci
Now, my dear reader, have you ever seen an item around Neopia called “Stick-O-Mynci?” Personally, I had never heard of such a food until a concerned friend showed it to me. What does the description for this barbaric item state? Since most of you are likely unfamiliar with this item, I copied down the description here:
Chunks of Mynci on a stick roasted to perfection.
Were others of my species destroyed to be served as a delicacy? Was it real Mynci meat on that stick? If so, how could our beloved, benevolent TNT allow such an atrocity? Secondly, why were Myncies, the most beautiful and noble of creatures, served on a stick? The pieces of the puzzle simply did not fit. So, I carried out a grand scientific investigation. Of course, as a princess, I had no part in the revolting process. That task was assigned to other curious and helpful Neopians.
Countless days passed and my miniature army of truth and science still toiled. Pounds of Stick-O-Mynci were burned, boiled or dissected to discover its biological properties. Of course, we had to hire the delightfully grumpy Ixi from Chemistry for Beginners. Once he got done grumbling about unstable compounds, our work proceeded splendidly.
As a result, I can state without a shadow of a doubt, that Stick-O-Mynci is entirely composed of Discounted Cake. The Breadmaster from The Bakery had to do something with the cake nobody wanted. Now you can relax. That Stick-O-Mynci you fed your pet is not composed of another Neopet. Instead, it is composed of stale, disgusting old sweets.
Now, my dear reader, do you see why I was so disquieted? There were numerous falsehoods circulating about my species, and no one bothered to correct these false statements. For now, my job is done. Now let me retire to my chambers where I will happily sip on gourmet Black Currant Juice and listen to M*YNCI for hours.