We Give You... Sand
MYSTERY ISLAND - Bottled sand. We’ve all heard of the swirly, gritty, rather colorful
stuff. We’ve eagerly gotten in line for Tombola, waiting in long lines to pull
a ticket. And...no it’s not a winning one! We groan in misery...wallowing in sorrow...Then
we cheer at the thought of a booby prize. With intense anticipation, we close
our fingers around the precious item. Will it be a royal paint brush? Or a negg...or...oh,
never mind. It’s just a stupid bottle of green sand. Might as well have been given
a pile of dung.
So what exactly is the purpose of colored sand? It’s not food or a toy, so
what’s the point in selling it? You can’t decorate your NeoHome with it, you
can’t feed it to your pets, and it’s one of the cheapest items in Neopia. Apparently
some people like collecting sand. (But we think these owners have accidentally
consumed rotten omelette.) Who wants to collect such a worthless item? It isn’t
even awfully expensive, ranging from 5-20NP. Well, there is one good side to
sand, if you’re broke, you can give them out for Christmas gifts. (Caution:
this may results in angry mobs demanding gifts) Or, if attacked by the Pant
Devil, simply smash him over the head with your trusty bottle of red sand and
be on your way! (But don’t take my advice for that. The Pant Devil is known
to be temperamental.) Perhaps there is a point...and that was precisely what
this reporter was going to find out.
I’ve come up with a list of possible purposes for this bottled sand. Through
a series of careful research, (*cough not cough*) we have determined that bottled
sand may possibly be...
1. It’s the results of poor pets who’s owners “accidentally” put the lab ray
on to high a setting.
2. It’s some sort of maniacal device invented by Dr. Sloth. (okay... perhaps
a bit far-fetched for this innocent looking sand, but who would pass up a chance
to frame Sloth?)
3. It’s really some sort of magical faerie powder...in disguise! (or not...)
4. It’s simply the remains of bottled faeries who, by some strange incident,
were tossed into a fireplace or oven.
5. It’s a really cheap brand of bath salts.
6. The Tombola guy simply has way to much time on his hands, so he sits around
and colors sand.
7. It’s straight from the makers of the “Wheel of Monotony.” Designed to bore
you to tears.
8. Perhaps there's an obscure tribe of Myncis hanging out on Mystery Island
who worship sand.
9. It’s designed to drive us insane wondering what it’s about...(if it is,
it’s doing a good job!)
10. Someone finally came to their senses and blew up the Pteri on the “Neopets
Is Down For Maintenance” page.
11. There’s obviously a Kiko Hater Guild *Inbox floods with Kiko-lover hate
mail* out there. Kiko’s, be warned, stay FAR from the Battledome, or you'll
end up like this sand...
12. I didn’t MEAN to leave my blue fuzzle in the oven...
13. It HAS to have something to do with Asparagus...it has to...
14. Hey, this is kinda off track, but...it IS kinda cool...I mean, it’s sand...SNAP
OUT OF IT! SAND IS EVIL!!!
15. Yeah. It’s evil. And sinister and trying to take over the world. What?
I am NOT paranoid!
16. Maybe it’s not the sand that’s special...maybe it’s the bottle!
17. But who wants an empty bottle?
18. It’s the results of a fire faerie gone berserk.
19. Is there such thing as a sand faerie?
20. It’s (this is a bit ridiculous, unimaginable but...) just sand.
Perhaps we’ll never really know what Bottled Sand is. Maybe we’ll spend our
lives wondering why in Neopia anyone would want to stick colored sand in a bottle.
It's an enigma shrouded in mystery, an insane and twisted contraption!!!WHAT’S
THE POINT?? HMM? WHY IS THERE JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID BOTTLES FILLED WITH SAND?
WHAT-IS-THEIR-PUPOSE??? Ahem. Pardon. Anyway, there are many types of sand,
so if you decide to collect them (for no apparent purpose) take a look at these
Bottle of Green Sand - Well, it’s green. That’s about it. It’ll cost you about
10 NP, because, well, it’s basically useless.
Bottle of Red Sand - Red sand. Why anyone would want it is a mystery... but
if you do, you can get it for 15 NP.
Bottle of Black Sand - Yet again, this sand will cost you a whopping 15 NP.
Bottle of Blue Sand- This sand is a bit more expensive, 20NP. But I’m not really
sure why. It’s not really any different from the others, except that it’s blue.(How
could I have overlooked that?)
Bottle of Orange Sand-The Shop Wizard say’s that this particular sand is really
rare...it’ll cost you 5NP.
For those of you who simply have far to much time on your hands, set out to
collect rarer varieties such as the bottle of glowing sand. You can also mix
up some sand in the Cooking Pot and may then receive...MORE SAND! Yes! It’s
a dream come true!
Now, if you don’t like paying these expensive prices for sand, (or you’re just
plain cheap)you can always head out to Mystery Island and play Tombola. If you’re
lucky, you’ll win NP instead of sand. I mean, this sand has no purpose. None,
nothing...it’s just some pretty colored stuff stuck in a jar. Who could find
excitement in that? Three words: The Tombola guy.
This masked...individual...hangs out on Mystery Island running a lottery-type
game “Tombola” one of the prizes for such said game is bottled sand. I’m assuming
this is where the sand came from, as a cheap souvenir for tourists. But, well...you
There are those of us who, despite the fact the bottled sand is pointless,
find it alluring. (Who me? never! Why would I have an extensive collection of
sand in my living room, next to the sofa, stacked to the ceiling... glittering
majestically in their bottles...each variety sought out and bought? Me? Of course
not!) And then, there are quite a few of us who think it’s as worthless as dung.