A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 175,814,284 Issue: 418 | 13th day of Storing, Y11
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Ten MORE Questions We May Never Find the Answers To

by silvernonsense


A handful of you may have had the chance to read a certain article I wrote entitled “Ten Questions We May Never Find the Answers To” in issue 385. Well, I figure the title is quite self-explanatory but for the sake of those who might not have efficient evaluation skills, I’ll clarify. The original article was a compilation of ten questions about scenarios that, no matter how hard I try, make no sense to me, ranging from the curious species of Dr. Sloth to the disguising abilities of camouflage Ixi. Even after ranting about these ten interesting situations, it seems that I’m still not satisfied and more Neopian conditions continue to baffle me. I’m certain that many of you are just as inquisitive as I am and these same questions have arisen in your many days wandering through the trash covered paths of the Deserted Fairground or the sweltering heat of the Lost Desert. Through the travels I’ve taken myself, I’ve managed to compile yet another unordered list of ten more interesting questions we may never find the answers to.

1. Who are all these Blumaroos passing me while I play Dice-A-Roo?

Dice-a-Roo, one of my favorite games that continues to deny me an avatar, is an entertaining little pastime most of us have had the chance to enjoy. While rolling die after die, hoping to earn a Neopoint or two, it seems that an endless row of bouncing Blumaroos passes by, giving me little tidbits of advice, suggestions or just random statements that have nothing to do with the circumstances whatsoever. Ownerless, talkative and apparently infinite, I can’t seem to deduce a possible source of these little guys. Who are they, I wonder?

2. Why are 1/3 Omelettes more expensive than full omelettes?

This is the first economical question I’ve posed and while I can’t claim to be an expert on our financial system, it seems that common sense is on my side. Somehow, through some odd, twisted process that escapes my mental aptitude, 1/3 omelettes cost more than full ones. No, you didn’t misread, that’s exactly what I said. After two bites have already been taken out of an omelette, the majority of the chow already being digested in a Neopet’s stomach, and the remaining one-third thrown carelessly into a Neopian shop, this measly bit of leftovers still manages a higher price than a full plate... why? Why, why, oh why!

3. How do neggs attach to Meerca tails after being eaten?

I’m having difficulty understanding the process in which a negg is swallowed and about to go through the digestive process but then suddenly appears attached to the end of the tail of the eater... there’s not much left to say.

4. Are the ingredients I give to Edna actually being used for what she says they are?

I admit, this one might sound more like an accusation than an inquisition but it’s another one that puzzles me. Ordinarily, I have no problem putting my faith into the quest givers of Neopia but after several incidences where Edna has claimed she needs help creating her Glowing Amulet of Kacheek Frazzling but requests that I find her a Gelert Sticky Rice Cake, I can’t help but be skeptical. After it all, it seems more likely that I’m helping her go grocery shopping by buying her potential dinner menu rather than aid in the creation of some protective amulet or spooky weapon.

5. Why are Chias the most food privileged species?

In Neopia, there’s a total of fifty-six species but only three of those species are given the chance to be transformed into fruits or vegetables. But Chias, one of the fruit/vegetable enabled species, appear to have been favored. Chias have the ability to become twenty-two different types of fruits or vegetables, making them the obvious food pet of Neopia. They are even given special popsicles, properly entitled Chia pops, that allow them to turn into a lemon, pea or other such possibilities. Why is it that they are given this opportunity and other pets aren’t? Why are there no Eyrie pops or Hissi pops? Unfairness, my friends. Unfairness.

6. Why do slushies shake and shift?

First of all, it’s very difficult to drink a Rainborific Slushie when it continues to writhe and wobble in your hands. Second of all, why the heck is it doing that?! I see no reason why my blended frozen beverage should be spinning and quaking. And have you ever been inside the slushie shop? That store should have a warning side on the door. “Beware of dangerous vibrating objects.”

7. Will the Esophagor ever get full?

It’s a well known fact that the Esophagor is always hungry and always searching for food. But is there a possibility that after a long day of faithful, food-bearing Neopians have visited the Esophagor, there will come a moment when he will, for the first time in Neopian history, he will have satisfied his supposedly unquenchable hunger?

8. Where is the Wise Gnorbu getting his Soggy Old Boxes?

Most of us have visited the Shenkuu Lunar Temple and most of us have failed in our attempts at challenging the Wise Gnorbu’s skills. Of all the lame consolation prizes given out in Neopia, you have to admit the Wise Gnorbu’s is the lamest. A measly soggy box? That’s it? I attempt to predict the future of Kreludor’s movements and this is what I get? After several more days and several more attempts, the boxes are beginning to pile up. But where is it that the Wise Gnorbu is getting all these boxes? With the amount of people that visit him every day and the amount of people he is forced to provide with consolation prizes, his stockpile of Soggy Old Boxes must be immense.

9. How do Doughnutfruit fly?

This would be the second time flying food has caused me to lose hours of sleep. On an earlier instance, I explained my perplexed view on flying potatoes at Meridell farm. This time, it happens to be that yet another type of food has decided to soar past me, stirring up questions difficult to answer. Woogy and Jimmi, our good Hasee friends from the pleasurable game Hasee Bounce, have fashioned a smart way of obtaining endless and delicious amounts of Doughnutfruit by using a seesaw to catch the sweets as they fly by. Fly by? Fly by? Not more flying food?! And just as annoyingly confusing as flying potatoes, flying Doughnutfruit might be even more confounding due to the fact they seem to fly in perfect symmetrical horizontal paths. I beg of you, please explain this odd airborne anomaly to me so I can finally shut up about it!

10. Will our guilds implode?

It has become an obvious observation that the splendid buildings housing our cherished guilds are becoming quite full. The majority of the guild areas are, in fact, labeled as crowded if not in a worse state such as the poor Air Faerie Cloud that has grown to be overloaded. But, with all these guilds popping up here and there, clogging up beloved places such as Mystery Island or the Games Cupboard, it seems possible that such places will become so full that the pressure upon our guilds will grow so great, they will one day... implode.

You may assume that the publication of these ten, now a total of twenty, questions are just a way for me to rant and rave about meaningless topics you could care less about. But no, that is not why I send these in for you to read. I write these for the sake of you, my dearest investigative Neopians, to branch out and seek an answer. Instead of disregarding my queries and going on about your life, why not inspect the ingredients of a shaking slushie or study the digestive track of a hungry Meerca? I leave it up to you, fellow reader, wonderer and curiosity plagued friend, to discover the answers to these questions and tell the world of your glorious findings.

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