Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 91,590,388 Issue: 174 | 21st day of Sleeping, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Invaders and Foes: The Chia Fruit Bowl


by blubblub317

--------

What may come as a shock to you is just an other insane theory that I, the great Blubborama/Blubbington/Blubbeh/Blubwhaeteveryouwanttocallme, have concocted in my messy writing room. What is the wild theory? You may be asking yourself. Well, first ask yourself this: when was the last time an actual great, evil, world-known villain (or villains) invaded the peaceful world of Neopia? WHEN?! Pft, I don’t even want to hear you say Hannah and the Ice Caves (Kanrik was not evil *sobs*).

Since I know your cerebrums have most likely bust by now from my endless chattering, I’ll answer that question for you. The newest invaders and foes of Neopia? CHIAS (bye-bye Lupes). Bulge out your eyes, drop your jaws, scream in terror all you want, it’s not going to change anything. Just a slight correction to my prior saying: I didn’t exactly mean all Chias. There’s only a little bunch that have been catching my eye and sending jitters down my spine.

They’re what I like to call The Chia Fruit Bowl. The Chia Fruit Bowl consists of these Chias (since I’m an organized freak, they’re in alphabetical order): Asparagus, Aubergine, Avocado, Blueberry, Chokato, Durian, Gooseberry, Grape, Lemon, Lime, Orange, Pea, Peach, Pear, Pineapple, Plum, Thornberry, and last but not least, Tomato.

The three that I consider the most dangerous out of the group that takes up half of all the colors that are available for Chias are Asparagus, Thornberry, and Tomato. Another thing that’s dangerous are my run-on sentences, but that we won’t touch on that topic.

Now why exactly do I consider these three the most dangerous? First, Asparagus is Adam’s favorite color and the Asparagus Chia is his favorite pet. In fact, his favorite is anything that has to do with Asparagus. If you know the creator of the world of Neopia has an obsession with Asparagus Chia, you know they’re a scary bunch. Second, the Thornberry Chia frightens me. I mean, look at the pink spikes it has on itself. PINK. SPIKES. Those two words alone wrap everything up. And the third one: Tomato Chia. Well, to be honest, I just plain don’t like tomatoes, so having a Tomato Chia makes me want to puke.

You may not know this, but I’ve been starting to grow suspicious about The Chia Fruit Bowl for over a month now. It just doesn’t make sense that the Neopian Gods (a.k.a. Neopets Team) would slave over creating these monstrous (but fun to poke) Chias. Something smells pfishy here, and I don’t like it one bit (honestly, what’s in that thing?). Sure, these Chias make look all squishy, and yummy, and adorable, but hidden beneath that cutesy-pootsy mask is something evil, something that’s controlling their mind.

Now, here’s the part where I say who’s controlling them. Who’s going to cause all this mayhem in the world of Neopia. Who’s the one who I’m going to call Chicken Green Dude next. Ready for another no-shocker? They’re in it alone. That’s right, these delicious Neopets (don’t ask) are evil and maniacal themselves, and have been planning world domination one by one, first starting with the Asparagus Chia. You see, Adam’s had enough of other pets taking over the Chia’s popularity, especially the Asparagus Chia’s popularity. They’re the one who deserve all the fame, the recognition, the spotlight, right? Not in my opinion, but who I am to argue when Adam’s just a few inches from that ‘Freeze Account’ button?

And heck, if you were an Asparagus Chia and roughly about…a minimal amount of people owned a pet of your species, don’t you think you’d get peeved? Not in my opinion, but who am I to argue when I’ve eaten one of their kind and they’re looking for revenge *gulp*.

Now, of course, there’s always the piles of questions that’ll start coming to me, and I’ll have to answer them all. Well, I’m tired, I want a shower, I’m hungry, and I just don’t want to answer your questions. Why do you think I made an article in the first place? To take away the Asparagus Chia’s fame? Well, maybe…

*pushes Adam’s hand away from the ‘Freeze Account’ button*

The Asparagus Chias have grouped an army that I, two minutes ago, called The Chia Fruit Bowl. It’s a bit odd that he would only choose fruit and vegetable Chias on first thought. But then you’ll realize that you’re an idiot when you finally figure out why the Asparagus Chia who was peeved decided to group them up.

Since you’re a bit weak in the brain (just kidding, I like talk), I’m going to tell you why.

Firstly, they’re small. Yes, seeing them on images might make them look big and deceiving, but never trust your eyes, always your nose. If you look at them personally, you’ll realize that a Blueberry Chia itself is only two inches tall. And don’t you think a Neopet that’s two inches tall would make a good spy?

Next, as I commented on my previous noting, because The Chia Fruit Bowl all consists of mostly small Chias, this would make them good spies. Chias are known for having full of courage, determination, and legs that can sprint a mile per second from those hungry Lupes. If anyone ever noticed them, they could easily camouflage or hide themselves within their surroundings. With a blink of an eye, they would no longer be there, or so it would seem…

And lastly, from what I know of Chias, they’re quite fat, intelligent, have sharp sense, and are pudgy. If there was a chance that they’d be caught, Chias could begin to act all innocent and happy and fun and carefree. I mean, honestly, you’d have to be an idiot to fall for that, but Chias know their way around.

So, what could all these impressive skills work to their advantage for? Let’s do a quick recap before I continue:

1. Adam is mad that Asparagus Chias aren’t getting any spotlight (but he’s not really important in this article)

2. A certain Asparagus Chia is incredibly peeved because he and the other Asparagus Chias aren’t popular and only a small amount of humans own them (his inspiration is Adam)

3. The Asparagus Chia has grouped an army of Chias named The Chia Fruit Bowl, which all of the fruit and vegetable Chias are a part of

4. They’re incredibly good spies which is why the Asparagus Chia picked them

5. You want me to shut up now so we can move along (right this way!)

Now, here’s the real mind-boggler in this article: why is The Chia Fruit Bowl spying in the first place? Well, I haven’t really got an exact confirmation on this, but there’s really no possible other solution then what I have in mind. They’re spying on Sloth.

Green Chicken Dude is the only other creature (other then the Lab Ray) who can transform Neopets into mutant Neopets without using potions or paint brushes. The Chia Fruit Bowl can’t just scuttle up to Sloth and ask him if they can use his ultra-powerful weapons and gather up all of his machine information. They need to do it secretively.

The Chia Fruit Bowl wants all of the Neopets, other then The Chia Fruit Bowl, in the entire world of Neopia to become mutants! I don’t even need to tell you why, but I will. Mutants Neopets aren’t really easy on the eyes (except for my lovely Jub), and Chias know this. So, what do you do when you want to garner attention and be the cutest Neopet ever?

“The Chia Fruit Bowl wants all of the Neopets, other then Chias, in the entire world of Neopia to become mutants!” –Blubblub317

What that dude said! I have to admit, The Chia Fruit Bowl’s scheme is ludicrous but absolutely ingenious as well.

So, now that we’ve rambled about it (or rather now that I’ve rambled about it), this is how their plan is going to work: The Chia Fruit Bowl will spy in Sloth’s lair for weeks, maybe even months, until they get enough information to have access to his top-secret machines. Subsequently, they’ll transform all of the Neopets in the world (other then Chias) into mutants, so that humans will focus their attention on them and think they’re the cutest, most spiffy, most cuddly, and most edible. Soon, The Chia Fruit Bowl will be the most well-known group of Neopets in the entire world (take that Majal_kita)!

Well, I’ll admit it, I’m pooped. Have you noticed that I’m always pooped after an article? If you haven’t or have, I don’t care! HAHA! Wait, are we on air? Uh-oh! Well, anyway, after reading this article, your eyes should now be a bit more wider for the sneaky Chia Fruit Bowl. If you ever have the incredible chance to meet these enemies, follow my advice: squish them. It’s as simple as that. Just kidding! *rolls eyes*

*wacky horns blare and article ends*

Author’s Note: MWUHAHAHA, COMMENTS ARE WELCOME TO THE ZE NEOMAIL INBOX OF BLUBBLUB317! MWUHAHAHAHA!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Change Of Tune: Part Four
"You heard them," sighed Lana, "and the sooner they pay us, the sooner we get to Meridell."

by twirlsncurls5

---------

The Wild Imagination of an Eccentric Feepit
Is that you in there?

by running_wind_horse

---------

Midwinter War: Part Four
He had to get out of the open field! The Scorchio ran towards the forest, hoping to be safer there. He quickly flew up and sat on a tree branch. As more of those scary pets arrived, Charmond realized he had forgotten his metal shield on the ground...

by shadowcristal

---------

Glad to be Back
"HANNAH!" he cried, and began running. Hannah jumped into his arms, and the two gave a welcoming and warm embrace. "Long, long time since I've clapped me eyes on you!"

by cruzerchic123



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.