A Gamer's Guide to the Neopian Summer
When it comes to neo-gaming, variety certainly isn’t in short supply and whilst this is a good thing, it does present us with a tricky decision: “Which game do I play?” As the warm weather approaches, Neopian citizens struggle to keep their temperature down and their minds engaged, making the choice just that little bit harder. Here is a concise list to help you make it without getting all hot and flustered.
Ice Cream Machine
This one is an all time favourite of mine. Adee the Chia, paying the price for her ice cream addiction, is in the throes of a nightmare containing giant, killer ice cream scoops! It’s your job to help her survive by dodging a wide range of flavours - anyone for Garlicky Bratwurst? Of course, in the dead of summer, you may be tempted to just let yourself get hit with a scoop again… and again… and again… but try not to deliberately lose the game, hey?
Mynci Beach Volleyball
If the heat doesn’t bother you too much, head out to the beach and enjoy some sandy sport! With the sea lapping at your heels, a gentle breeze whipping your hair and clouds skimming across the sky, you’ll struggle to keep away. Help the Myncies score points by getting the ball past each other's defences whilst avoiding Turdles and sudden, disturbing changes in your opponent’s physique.
Terror Mountain Tilt
Slip and slide your way (in 3D!) to victory on the top of a mountain. Whilst considered perilously dangerous by every member of the Happy Valley Safety Association, the local Bruces assure me that it’s a wonderfully exciting experience and besides, limbs are easily reattached at the Neopian Hospital. Of course, by the time you reach the mountain summit, your teeth may be rattling hard enough to fall out. If the journey doesn’t freeze you through and through, fright will!
It’s always pleasant to think about ice and snow during the sweatiest, stickiest days, but this game goes one step further; you get to EAT the snow! In this arcade style game, you guide the sweetest, hungriest little Polarchuck, Dieter, who eats his way through levels of multicoloured snow blocks. Of course, it isn’t quite as simple as you might think. You’ll need to work against the clock and avoid dangerous, purple snow worms in order to reach the bottom safely. Oh, and, watch out for snow with a yellowish hue…
If ever there was a good time for a ball of water to explode in your face, it would be a hot summer’s day. You’ll have no need to run back to your Golden Clawed Bath Tub every few minutes when playing this game. Pass the magical ball to your fellow players and watch with mounting anticipation as time goes by; who will get a dousing this time? Simple and addictive, this gentle game is suitable for anyone and everyone.
If you don’t want to deal with the weather at all, simply head off to Neopia’s moon and avoid it completely! Help the moon Grundos protect their home by shooting rocks at the enemy spaceship fleet. The tricky terrain provides a number of obstacles ranging from pipes to passing meteors, making this game fun and, at times, frustrating! If I were you, though, I’d be quiet about my involvement. The well known mad scientist behind the invasion wouldn’t be too happy with you helping them, would he?
If rushing around mountains, dodging flying objects or making objects fly isn’t your Cup of Tea, take up the challenge in this winter themed version of battleships. It falls to you to destroy your opponent’s ice palace, snowmen, catapult and cannon with snowballs of your own, before your shady looking opponent can destroy yours. Oops, catapulting snow probably counts as making objects fly – oh well! You’ll still enjoy this classic board game which is situated in Terror Mountain and therefore chilly enough to freeze the Fire Faerie.
Volcano Run II
There’s hot, very hot and then there’s skin-meltingly hot. Sadly, flying through a volcano counts as number three. In the depths of winter, when the only visible part of Neopian inhabitants is their eyes, this game COULD be bearable. However, in a sweltering Neopian summer, it’s pure madness. Really, who would be crazy enough to attempt this gauntlet even in winter?
Ah, such an innocent sounding game. Why would I advise against this, you ask? Two reasons; the first being an alarming amount of fiery orbs, the second being Faerieland’s proximity to the sun. Unknown to many people, the heat blast from a successful combo of fire bubbles is pretty large (large enough to burn up adjoining bubbles) and would be particularly unpleasant when sitting below a glowing Neopian sun. This game is best played in the spring time when the balance of elements is just about perfect.
Outwardly, gadgadsgame seems like the perfect summer scenario but get a little closer and… “Eww... what IS that smell?” My friends, that would be the smell of exploding fruit, left to rot in the sunshine. If you really feel the need to play this game, take along a nose peg and try not to breathe in the fumes!
Meerca Chase II
As fun as it may look, Meerca Chase is not a game you want to be playing in strong sunshine. Running after neggs all day is a tiring business - just watching the little Meerca will make you sticky with exertion. By the time you crash into a wall or turn, unwittingly straight into a red negg, you’ll be so hot that you’ll want to dive straight into the Rainbow Pool. I look forward to seeing the results on anyone who tries it!
Don’t forget that there are plenty of other games out there, just waiting for you to try them out! If the thought of stepping into the unknown makes you quiver with fear, use this simple checklist to see if your game is suitably summery. Does it contain snow/ice/water? Is it free of fire? Is it free of perishable goods? Is it a decent distance from the sun? If the answers are yes, go on and play! Hopefully, now that you have this list, you’ll be able to pick your games with ease and enjoy the summer just that little bit more.