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Dark Faerie Bubbles: If You Cut Them, Do They Bleed?

by darthtingle


Upon visiting the games room recently, I found myself in a bit of a quandary-- confused and unsatisfied, if you will. I was looking -- nay, searching! -- frantically for anything that might lead me to the ultimate origin of those mysterious and unsettling objects, camouflaged in the shrouds of randomness and high-score terror: Dark Faerie Bubbles.

We all know these bubbles. They plague and harass us as we try for the Faerie Bubbles avatar (regarding which there are quite a few helpful guides), turning every which colour until the area overflows with myriad bubbles, leaving owner, pet, petpet, and petpetpet alike in fuming clouds of frustration. Why, we must wonder, do they have to be so resilient, especially in large groups? If nothing else, the nature of these bubbles is clear. They are unhelpful and deceitful. Yet this leaves me, and I hope you, unsatisfied. It leaves serious questions.

Where did these bubbles come from? What do they do outside of the games room? Are they, indeed, evil? How do they change nature so easily? And my personal favorite: Do they or do they not taste like blueberries? [Of course, it's important, Tingelator. Tastiness is a key attribute to any pseudo-scientific endeavour. Now let me get on with this! We're just hitting the good part!]

All these questions continued to arise in my mind as I found nothing that might lead me to answers -- nothing in all of known Neopia. I tried old Neopian Times articles, I searched the Neopedia -- I even searched the Battlepedia, pet owners, and pet names. Tingelator and I traipsed about Neopia like owner and pet gone mad, from the heights of Terror Mountain (only sustained by chia pops - non magical, thank Fyora!) to the depths of Maraqua (man, that statue is creepy) to that one bouncy fruity world of which no one speaks and few return (think blobs of doom).

Upon returning to our humble Neohome, we were all but exhausted, ready to take a few days off and get some rest. [Ok, so maybe that would have been possible. But really, all these interruptions. Do I need to put you in the Neolodge for a few days? What do you mean that would be nice? I'm shocked! Fine. You do want you want. I'm telling a story here . . .]

This, however, was not our fate. The mystery of dark bubbles had yet to be solved. I was lost in despair, unsure of where to go next, not even motivated enough to play a game of Meerca Chase. Then it struck me! Finneus! I hadn't yet been to Altador. So I hoisted my backpack, making sure to keep my inventory small (far less than 50 items), and off we went to the other side of the world. And there I found answers. Well, ok, that's not true. But I did find better questions, and there's something to be said for that, all things considered. We searched through many a manuscript only to be led back to the point at which we started: Faerie Bubbles.

That's right. The only reference to Dark Faerie Bubbles in all of know Neopia lies in the hidden, sinister origins of a game played by thousands every day, obsessed over by avatar-hunters and top-score hawkers alike. This game, which so many play, must contain some dark secret. Because I am not an expert on either faeries or bubbles -- or even games and avatars -- I was able to come up with only a few ideas as to the dark nature and dark origin of these dark bubbles. Beginning with the most likely:

1.) Dark Faeries created them. It seems obvious to me that these bubbles most likely came about with the advent of dark faeries. Whether Jhudora herself had anything to do with it is uncertain: she chased me out of her cloud with purple thunderbolts before I could say so much as a word. If these bubbles do come from such dark beings, their evil effect on the Faerie Bubbles (the game) and their dark colour becomes only a given.

2.) Light Faeries created them. I suggest this only because it is counterintuitive. We tend to assume that light faeries are inherently good and would hesitate to engage in any mischief and trouble-making. Yet might I point out that we also have Air Bubbles, certainly not a product of evil. So maybe they created these Dark Bubbles to show the ever changing nature of nature itself. Or maybe I spent too much time in books over in Altador. Or maybe I'm just insane . . . [Tingelator -- not now! Just let it go, ok?]

3.) They ARE dark/light faeries. Depending on which of the above views you take above, perhaps these dark bubbles are transformed dark faeries or light faeries, attempting to trick you into losing at Faerie Bubbles. And when you make a chain, you set them free, free to roam about as the bubbles they once were meant to be. Wouldn't that be nice? [I know nice isn't the point here, Tingelator. Would you please just let me write the article?]

4.) They have been concocted by someone. Maybe someone put the wrong things into the cooking pot one day and Jhuidah's magic created a new substance. Maybe Bonju's cooking is more mysterious than even his avatar can show. Maybe the Chocolate Factory has a deep, dark, bubbly secret of which even that irritating ever-smiling Kiko will not speak of or think of. That place has always seemed questionable to me . . . especially after all that refreshing and all that smiling . . . .

5.) Dr. Sloth did it. Somehow. I mean, he's always hated faeries and happiness and the delicious taste of blueberries. Maybe he infiltrated Faerieland and, perhaps with a Grundo army, or maybe with undercover mutant Kacheeks. Maybe when he realized the innate terrorizing force of the tooth faerie, he sought to create his own taste-turning troupe of tarnished attendees . . . .[What? Just stop there? What do you mean this has gone too far? Of course it makes sense! No, I will NOT give the article to you! I'll have you know that if you do that, I will NEVER train you in strength again! What do you mean this is for my own good? What are you doi- . . .]

***The rest of the article has been completed by Tingelator, respected and all-too-often ignored pet of Neopia. Darth has had to, erm, take a break for, erm, health reasons. Right.***

So, after all that ridiculous traveling and all those ridiculous questions, I, Tingelator, am left knowing only two things. First, that Dark Faerie Bubbles are anything but simple. And second that, most likely, no one else really cares, what with being sane and everything. Now, I am hungry and want to play. So we'll be going outside now. Maybe I'll even play some Faerie Bubbles (withOUT asking unnecessary questions). I leave you with the question Darth had scribbled down on his notes just before he required, umm, a nap. For health reasons, of course.

"Who chooses which bubbles come into the machine anyway? Who forces that wall down upon the bubbles which sparkle and gleam in the faerie light, waiting to be freed? Why do the faerie bubbles not float away? Who lies behind the sinister assortment of challenges known only as . . . *dun dun dun* Faerie Bubbles!?!?"

Owners these days . . . can't even play a simple game and leave it at that. I hope you all can go out and enjoy a game of Faerie Bubbles today. And if you need a guide to the avatar, I assure you, they are all over the Times. As for me, I'm going to enjoy the games and discourage any more silly adventures. I hope you will too.

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