Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 171,460,618 Issue: 396 | 12th day of Relaxing, Y11
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Happy Birthday

by surinamejoshua234


“Good morning. Isn’t it a beautiful day?”Surinamejoshua234 said as his four pets trudged into the kitchen where he was making breakfast.

      “Good and morning should not be used in the same sentence,” replied Harry_GS, a Darigan Gelert and Suri’s oldest pet.

      “Why did you wake us up so early on a Saturday anyways?” asked Hissina99, a Desert Hissi and Suri’s second oldest pet. She was particularly disturbed by her beauty sleep being interrupted.

      “Why, today is a very special day,” answered Suri. “Today is-”

      “Oh right,” interrupted Beauty2389, a faerie Xweetok and Suri’s third oldest pet. “Today I’m going to the new library to check out their books and see if it can even compare to mine.”

      “No no no,” said Suri. “Today is-”

      “And me and Beastboy are inventing a new snow catapult that’ll be TWICE as effective as the ones used in Snow Wars,” declared Zebra7000, an electric Ogrin and Suri’s fourth pet.

      “And I’ve got to practice in the Battledome if I’m ever going to beat the Snowager,” exclaimed Harry.

      “And I’m going over to Crystal’s house to see her new makeup,” stated Hissina. “She says that it makes you positively sparkle, even in the dark.”

      “Yes, that’s great and all,” began Suri, “but today is very special because it’s-”

      “We better hurry up and get ready or else the day will already be half gone by the time we start,” Harry pronounced.

      The four pets quickly bolted down their breakfast of fluffy faerie pancakes, red eggs on toast, and bacon muffins. They didn’t even realize that this breakfast was a bit more extravagant than what they usually had. The four pets then rushed out of the kitchen to get ready for their busy day, leaving Suri to clean up. They ran back downstairs a few minutes later and dashed to the door.

      “Bye!” they all shouted in unison

      “Wait! Today is my-” Suri yelled and he finished just as the door slammed shut, “my birthday.”

      Suri sighed. He went into the kitchen and finished cleaning up. Could they have forgotten his birthday? No! It wasn’t possible. Was it? No, it wasn’t. Or maybe it was? No, absolutely not! They weren’t that heartless. They must be planning a surprise party! Yes, that was it. That was the only possibility. Or was it? His pets weren’t all that good at keeping secrets. Suri relied on this to get most of his information about them.

      “Then what could it be?”

     Suri stacked the last dish to dry and went into the living room to read a book After reading for about two hours, the book disappeared in a puff of red smoke as he finished. He sighed and said, “I hate it when that happens.”

     Suri glanced up at the clock. It read 12:30. He decided to start making hot dogs for lunch in case his four pets came home. They each liked something different so it might take a while. For Harry, he made four chili and cheese hot dogs. Harry said that eating a lot helped him keep up his strength for the Battledome. For Hissina he made one veggie hot dog. She said that all the stars were staying thin and that it was all the rage. Beauty preferred two plain hot dogs. She didn’t want the condiments to be falling on to her books. For some strange reason, Zebra liked two grape jam hot dogs. He was rather weird. For himself, Suri had two hot dogs with mustard and relish. Once he was done fixing lunch, he ate his two hot dogs. He looked up at the clock. It was 1:15. Just then, Zebra burst through the door. In his arms he carried a wooden box with a big red button on the top.

      “Hey, you’re back,” Suri said. He was just about to see if he could get any information out of his youngest pet when he noticed the box in his hands. “What’s that?”

      “This is the new and improved version of the Snow Wars catapult,” Zebra replied. He set it down on the floor and pressed the big red button on the top. Suddenly, the box exploded in a cloud of dust and a flash of light. Suri coughed and waved his hand to clear the dust. Once it was gone, he saw a large, strange contraption standing in the middle of the front hall. There were a lot of wires and knobs and buttons and levers sticking out all over the place.

      “How does this... thing work?” Suri asked.

      “Like this,” Zebra answered. “You put an object into the cradle here,” Zebra stated, going into the living room and returning with a book off the shelf. He placed the in a small cradle. “Now I need a target.” Once again he rushed into the living room. This time he came out with a sofa cushion. “Hold this and stand over there.” He indicated the opposite side of the large contraption.

      “Like this?” Suri asked, taking the cushion, feeling a bit worried about being a target. He stood in front of the machine, holding the cushion in front of him.

      “Yeah, that’s perfect,” Zebra responded. “I just need to adjust the angle and trajectory.” He started pulling levers and turning knobs and pressing buttons and connecting wires. The machine started to whir and whine. “The aerodynamics must be very specifically aligned.”

      “Uh-huh, right, right,” Suri said, having no idea what his pet was talking about. “Is this safe?”

      “I have no idea,” Zebra answered. “But we’ll find out.” He ignored Suri’s protests and slammed his paw down on a large, red, blinking button. The cradle shot forward and the book flew towards Suri. Instead of hitting the cushion, it hit Suri right in the head. Just before he blacked out, he heard Zebra say,

     “Darn. It did it again.”

     * * * *

      “Wake up, Dad!”

      As Suri’s eyes fluttered open, he saw Beauty standing over him.

      “Beauty, where is Zebra?” he asked.

      “He left,” she said. “He ran by me with a wooden box and two hot dogs in his hands just as I came in. He yelled something about adjusting the flux capacitor or something like that.”

      Suri stood up and rubbed the bump on his head as he said, “What did you get at the library?”

      “Ha!” Beauty exclaimed. “You mean that pathetic excuse for a library. I have twice the amount of books in my secret library.”

      “Secret library?”

      “Don’t worry about it. Anyways, what’s for lunch? I’m starved.”

      “I made hot dogs. Are you going to stay to eat?”

      “No,” Beauty replied. “I’ve got to go to the bookstore to see if they have anything new. They’re supposed to get the new Barbara Blade book in today and I’m just dying to read it.”

      “Oh, okay.”

      Beauty raced into the kitchen and grabbed her two hot dogs. She then bolted out the door. “Bye, Dad!” she yelled.

      “Bye,” Suri replied.

      Suri sat down at the kitchen table to wait for his next pet to walk through the front door. He heard the door open and a voice call out, “Dad! I’m hungry!”

      It was Harry, returning from the Battledome. There was sweat still on his face. On a belt around his waist, he had all his weapons splayed out.

      “How was your practice?” Suri asked.

      “Great! I’m almost ready to defeat the Snowager,” Harry replied.

      “How great! Are you done for the day?”

      “Definitely not!” Harry exclaimed. “I’ve got to go back to the Battledome and practice some more. I’ll take my lunch to go.”

      Harry rushed into the kitchen and came back out balancing his three chili and cheese hot dogs in both paws with one already stuffed in his mouth.

      “Thanks Dad,” said Harry, through a mouthful of hot dog.

      “You’re welcome,” Suri muttered. None of his pets had even given him a hint to what they were doing for his birthday. The only one left was Hissina. She was his last hope. At least she was bribable.

      Just then the front door opened again. Suri went out into the hall and was nearly blinded. He stumbled back into the kitchen and took a pair of sunglasses from the kitchen drawer. He put them on and went back out into the hall. Now he could just barely stand the blinding light. In the midst of the light was Hissina.

      “How do you like my new makeup, Dad?” Hissina asked.

      “It’s... it’s... blinding,” Suri replied.

      “Thanks! It’s water proof and it lasts for weeks.”

      Darn. Now he couldn’t bribe her with makeup. What could he do?

      “Umm, Hissina. Do you need anything?”

      “No, my life is perfect right now,” Hissina said. “What’s for lunch?”

      “Uhhh... I made you a veggie hot dog.”

      “Oh yum,” Hissina said. She quickly but neatly ate her hot dog and bolted towards the door. “Bye!”

      “Wait, where are you going?”

      “Dad, when you look as good as I do, it would be a crime not to share it with the world.”

      “Are you sure?” Suri muttered.

      “What was that?”

      “Nothing. Have fun, honey.”

      As his last pet disappeared, Suri sighed. None of them had remembered his birthday. He simply could not believe it. The ungrateful wretches had completely forgotten their own father’s birthday. He took off the sunglasses and put them back into the kitchen drawer. He decided he would give it to them at dinner. He’d insist that they sit down and eat and then he’d make sure that they were made aware of what they had done and that they felt so guilty that they would rush out and get him them best present ever. And do their chores forever. And be more respectful. He chuckled and said,

     “As long as I’m dreaming, I want a billion Neopoints.”

     So he went back into the living room and started another book, still angry and letting his anger come to a boil. About four hours later, he finished the book and groaned as it disappeared in a puff of purple smoke. He glanced up at the clock. It said 6:00. He decided to make spaghetti faerie hoops. He quickly whipped up a batch just as his pets burst through the door once again. They all ran into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Hissina was wearing a Flotsam sweater to cover up her glow.

      “Hi Dad!” they yelled in unison.

      “What’s been going with you guys?” Suri asked. He never had been good at giving people the silent treatment. He was, however, trying to sound angry.

      “I’m just about ready to beat the Snowager,” Harry replied, completely oblivious to Suri’s anger. “I’ll have him drinking his meals through a straw in no time.”

      “And I found the new Barbara Blade book plus some Harriet Haverly and Gretchen Gravers books,” said Beauty, completely oblivious to Suri’s anger. She held up a shopping bag with the bookstore Nimmo on the side.

      “Me and Crystal discovered another color of makeup,” proclaimed Hissina, completely oblivious to Suri’s anger. “It’s like a cross between gold and green and red and purple. It’s called Goleenreple and it is gorgeous.”

      “And me and Beastboy perfected the catapult!” Zebra piped up, completely oblivious to Suri’s anger. “It won’t hit people in the head anymore. Do you want to see it? I set it up outside.”

     “I don’t know, Zebra. I not sure that my head can stand another hit.”

     “Oh, come on,” Zebra begged. “It won’t happen again. I fixed the angles and trajectories and the aerodynamics. Pleeeeeeaaaaase?” He gave Suri his puppyblew eyes, the ones Suri could never resist.

      “Fine,” Suri reluctantly agreed. It seemed their little talk would have to wait. He followed his four pets outside. As he stepped over the threshold, he was nearly thrown backwards by a multitude of voices shouting,


      Outside, the lawn was decorated with party decorations. Strung throughout the trees were paper lanterns, shining brightly. Statues of famous Neopian figures were scattered all over the lawn and covered in bright streamers. Balloons of all shapes, sizes, and colors rolled all over the grass. On a table near the front door was a table that was laden with food and a giant four layer chocolate cake. Spread out upon the lawn were Suri’s friends and family. “You guys!” he exclaimed to his pets. “You did this all for me?”

      They nodded, big grins covering their faces. Suri embraced all four of them at once and said, “I never doubted you guys for a minute.”

      Behind their backs, Suri crossed his fingers.

The End

First story! Hope you liked it! Neomail me with any comments!

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