White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 170,616,256 Issue: 393 | 22nd day of Hunting, Y11
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Life With the Newbies: Part Two


by xxxmagiabellexxx

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I moaned. I had had a fair night's sleep, with the exception of a mysterious lump under my bed. I didn't even remember it. I gazed at the ceiling. Since when did it have mysterious brown spots? Mommy always-

      Oh. That's right. I don't live with Mommy anymore. She abandoned me. Oh yes, I remember now.

      I was stuck in the noob's house.

      I felt hatred towards them. Stupid Mommy. Stupid Holly Billy. Stupid randomness that made me go to her. Stupid EVERYTHING!

      I needed to calm down. What had Mommy taught me? To be kind and polite to everyone, even under difficult circumstances. But who cared what Mommy thought? She abandoned me in the first place, so legally I wasn't hers anymore. I could be as rude as I pleased! But how? I couldn't bring myself to do it; I was simply too kind.

      I went to the living/kitchen/dining room and saw that Holly Billy was watching a very cheap-looking Neovision set, along with Pancho and Rosanna. She smiled when she saw me.

      Gah, that buck-toothy smile of hers. She was a noob, and noobs don't smile cute like that. She looked like a hillbilly! A spark fused in my head. Holly Billy. Hillbilly. I had a new name for her, that evil and conniving girl who had to adopt me! Hilly Billy! Oh, it blended so well together!

      “Well, you finally woke up sunshine! We were starting to think you had a concussion or something!” she greeted me. Pancho was eating off of a high chair; Rosanna was in the floor.

      “Would you like some omelette?” asked Hilly Billy.

      “It's the only thing we got, so you better like it! See, even Pancho eats them, except they're mushy!” warned Rosanna.

      “Uh, okay,” I said meekly. So much for rudeness.

      Lily practically floated in from her room. She was wearing a headband that read 'Leave Grundos Alone'. “I'm going to the dining area, Billy, if you don't mind,” she said. Lily went into the kitchen, grabbed a ready-for-her omelette, and went to the dining room (which was more like a piece of wood on top of a box with chairs around it) and ate.

      “She's very peace-y, so she won't watch Neovision because she thinks it ruins your 'spiritial senses that are in touch with the area around you', whatever that means,” said Rosanna. I was about to tell her the word was 'spiritual', not 'spiritial', but Hilly Billy came with an omelette for me. “Enjoy!” she exclaimed.

      I looked at the omelette for a second. It was dusty and not very fresh. But I figured if I was going to live here for the rest of my life, I better get used to the food I eat. So I took a tiny bite. Very tiny. When I noticed it wasn't so bad, I ate the whole thing in about fifteen minutes.

      “You eaten lotsa omelettes!” cried Pancho. “I eated only one!” Hilly Billy assuaged him and gave him more mushed-up omelettes. Rosanna chuckled.

      “He's a jealous and spoiled thing; ever since Boochi hit him he's been Billy's favorite,” explained Rosanna.

      “Go figure,” I said, watching Hilly Billy play peek-a-boo with a giggling Pancho.

      “Say, do you wanna go play? I gots some Usukis, they're real nice!” inadvertently said Rosanna. I nodded, unsure of my decision. She led me to her room, which she shared with Pancho. Hilly Billy had divided it in half. The left half for Pancho, the other half for Rosanna. I asked Rosanna why Pancho slept in her room and not with his mom, but she replied that Pancho seemed to like that room and refused to move in with Hilly Billy.

      “I've always thought,” she whispered, voice quivering a bit, “that he's scared of that room because of the missing Angelpuss. See, Prissy was the exact opo-sit of what an Angelpuss is supposed to be like. He was evil, lemme tell you. He was mine, by the way. So's one day, Prissy and I go outside in the mud and play. We then go back in after Billy warns us not to get too muddy. So I'm playing in your room, with Prissy nearby, eying me evilly. So I says to him, 'Be right back, Prissy, I'mma gonna get some Neocola.' When I come back, there are muddy paw prints leading all the way to Billy's room, and Prissy's missing. So I go lookin' for him, following the prints, but when I reach Billy's room, they stop. Just like that. Since then, we've bin looking for him. No luck so far. 'N the worst part is, Pancho was with me the whole time, so maybe he knows what happened. That's why he's so trummy-tised about it.”

      I blinked twice. “Have you ever considered the possibility that he didn't leave those paw prints and he just hid in your-erm, my- room?” I said shakily. Of course I didn't want a dead Angelpuss somewhere in my room, but sweet Fyora! I'd rather know I got rid of it than know it's running amok.

      Rosanna's eyes grew big. “Maybe. But I like to think the Petpet Federation for Behaving Addy-kiwit-lee came unexpectedly and took him away for behaving badly.”

      “Wherever did you get that Petpet Federation for Behaving Adequately from?” I scoffed.

      Rosanna shrugged. “From someone in Neoschool. Everyone knows that Ricky sees all and knows all.” After that, Rosanna remembered we were supposed to play with her Usukis. We played for about an hour, and maybe I did enjoy it. But only a bit. The theme of our playing was 'Jelly World'.

      “'Jelly World is too real, Marianne! I saw it with my own eyes!'” said Rosanna in a high-pitched voice. Her Usuki was a Fun in the Sun Usuki doll.

      “'But then people will accuse you of insanity!'” said my Hula Girl Usuki.

      “'But why do you think it's fake?'”

      “'My dear Aimee, the temperature and weather would have to be FRIGID for such a place! Not to mention it'd be eaten completely! It's scandalous! Preposterous! ABSOLUTELY INSANE!'” I did agree with my Usuki Doll. I feel bad for whoever believes those lies.

      So 'Marianne' and 'Aimee' argued back and forth, while shopping in the NC Mall. An hour later, Hilly Billy came in our room. “Girls, we're going to the Rainbow Pool! Come on, we don't want to miss it!” she said excitedly.

      “How much time has gone by, um, Billy?” I asked.

      “More than five hours! You girls look like you were having a blast, but this is a family tradition! It's amazing to watch; you'll like it, Zainahava! And you should know it's great entertainment, considering you are painted,” said Billy.

      Five hours?! I WAS having fun. Rosanna and I exchanged glances. We quickly put up our Usukis and hurried with Billy, Pancho, and Lily. I had no idea what Billy was talking about, but it couldn't hurt to try... right?

      * * *

      It turned out to be that Billy's family's form of entertainment was watching pets get painted at the Rainbow Pool. How could that be fun, even for the Potato Counter guy? Mommy's idea of fun would be going to Faerieland and spin the wheel, visiting the castle and Faerie Queen, and other excursions like that.

      When we arrived, it was snug. We sat near the Pool, but were far away enough so we couldn't disturb the others.

      “See, Zainahava, watching these pets get painted releases our inner desire for this and relaxes us a little,” said Lily, who was meditating. I replied with an eye twitch.

      “What she means, Zeeny, is that watching these pets get painted is fun! We get to see the reactions of them pets and the owners, and sometimes they'll fuss about how ugly they look! It's like our very own drama show,” explained Rosanna.

      “Ooh, Uni!” squealed Pancho. Indeed, a Uni approached us. He was Blue and was trotting about, smiling joyously. His owner was a bit behind, panting and gasping, not as fast as his enthusiastic Uni.

      “Phew! Come here, Razten! Do you wanna be painted or not?” gasped the boy. The Uni trotted back to him, shaking with eagerness. The owner pulled out a Halloween Paint Brush from a bag, and the Uni whinnied happily.

      “In the water, Razten- there you go- now, for the final touch...” The boy gently stroked the Uni's back with the Paint Brush and then, magically, the brush came to life and painted the Uni by itself. When it was done, there stood a Uni similar to the Nightsteed (but perhaps not as foul and evil), uber-excited, whinnying like crazy, and trotting back and forth.

      “Look Kris, I'm a Halloween Uni now! Your lifelong dream now accomplished! I swear I'll be great and living up to your expectations!” cried the Uni.

      The boy almost cried. “I know, Razten. Come, let's go home now and party!” Boy and pet left, both happy and overflowing with it.

      Billy was almost crying too. “Beautiful, really. I think that's the happiest I've seen both a pet and its owner.”

      “Bah, I like the ones where there's fights! It makes it lots more tough!” said Rosanna, standing up and punching the air.

      “Heehee!” giggled Pancho.

      “Ah, but the arguments that take place stimulate what could happen in our later life, and it damages the nature and beauty of peace,” said Lily.

      I sat there, feelings mixed. My new family wasn't as bad as imagined, but there was certainly was trouble among them. They seemed to really want me to fit in, and I felt like Lutari Island: desolate and alone, all by itself. Should I take in the welcome? Or observe their behavior and wait? I decided to just sit there for a bit. I was going to enjoy my new lie, with my new family, not to mention this new form of entertainment.

      But as soon as I settled in, I saw a dangerous sight.

To be continued...

 
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Other Episodes


» Life With the Newbies: Part One
» Life With the Newbies: Part Three



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