An Exclusive Interview with AAA!
Hello, and welcome. Today I was able to receive some footage of an exclusive interview by a Starry Uni reporter named Starlight. So, who was the lucky interviewee? Queen Fyora? Gorix or Cylara? That one-man band guy who plays at the Concert Hall on the 32nd of every—you’ve never heard of him? Everyone knows about—never mind! Today, she has chosen to interview... (drum roll please!) ...Aristotle A. Avinroo!
Why do I hear some groans among you? He is a mysterious and interesting Neopian figure, as much so as many others! It has always been a mystery what his guilty pleasures are, why he only comes twice a year instead of just buying “Better Than You,” and most of all, his favourite flavor of gummy dice... until now!
Oh, great, I STILL haven’t convinced some people, but never mind that. Without further ado, roll the tape!
Tape Narrator: Neopian children and children at heart know Aristotle A. Avinroo (otherwise known as AAA) and Abigail to be a great source of game-related prizes, but what effect do they really have on the Neopian economy? Well—
Oh, sorry! I accidentally rolled the boring “Aristotle’s effect on the economy” tape! Now, roll the interview tape. (mutters something about why she even kept that tape in the first place)
Starlight: Hello, everyone! I’m here with Aristotle A. Avinroo to talk about his current Daily Dare.
Aristotle: Abigail! Don’t forget about Abigail- she always gets mad at me when interviewers say it’s MY Daily Dare!
Starlight: Okaaay, his and Abigail’s. He’s also here to discuss his life when he’s not doing the Daily Dare and Games Master Challenge, among other things. So, first question: what’s your favourite flavor of gummy die?
Aristotle: I rather like lime. It’s both sweet and sour- like Sophie the Swamp Witch, not to mention they’re both green! (rim shot)
Sophie (from distance): Hey! If it wasn’t for your little friend helping my brother, I’d...
Starlight: Moving on! So, was it true about your whole dungeon experience from last year’s Daily Dare being staged?
Aristotle: Of course not! If I had staged it, he (I never say his name) would have given me a five-minute head start before capturing me!
Starlight: I’ve played your Dungeon Dash game before. Do you run that slowly in real life?
Aristotle: No, I just felt out of shape. You would too, if you were trapped in a dungeon for 31 entire days playing games nonstop!
Starlight: Uhh...don’t you already play games nonstop for 31 days during the Daily Dare?
Aristotle: No, I actually get breaks for meals, exercise, and doing all that make-up homework for being gone from Neoschool. Most of the time, I’m just replaced by a moving cardboard cutout during the Daily Dare. No one ever notices.
Starlight: So, that explains why your scores were so low during the Daily Dare! I honestly thought you were losing your touch.
Aristotle: Me, lose my touch? Never!
Starlight: Why don’t you just buy Better Than You with your gaming money instead of only hosting challenges twice a year?
Aristotle: Are you kidding me? Think of the egomaniac that’d make look like! Don’t counter me with the “biggest braggart in Neopia” rumour, I’m really not like that! Just ask Rose about that!
Starlight: Ask who?
(A Fire Xweetok appears, seemingly out of nowhere.)
Rose: Ask me.
Starlight: What are you doing here? Who are you?
Rose: I’m Rose, Aristotle’s friend from Neoschool. He asked me to come here for support... he seemed so nervous.
Aristotle: Rose! (groans in embarrassment from Rose’s statement) Stop it!
Rose: I’m only telling the truth. I guess I’ll stop talking now...
Starlight: Wait! I want to ask you, Rose- is Aristotle a good friend?
Rose: Oh, definitely! He’s really nice and a good listener, but I know better than to challenge him at games. Although, I think I could beat him at “The Search for Princess Lunara.” (winks at Aristotle)
Aristotle: Hey! I could so beat you at “The Search for Princess Lunara!”
Rose: No, you couldn’t! You didn’t even know the story of the Grey Faerie until I told it to you!
(general arguing about who is better at “The Search for Princess Lunara” can be heard among Rose and Aristotle)
Rose: Oh, yeah? Well, I heard that Abigail, of all Neopets, your own sister, beat you at Tyrannian Mini Golf!
Starlight: Is that true?
Aristotle: I’ve heard rumours about me before, but that one’s just silly! How could Abigail beat me at a game?
Rose: Oh, for Fyora’s sake, I saw you right there at the mini golf course, and Abigail was doing a victory dance right in front of you and singing, “Oh, yeah! I beat the master!”
Aristotle: Were you spying on me?
Rose: You never even suspected me, did you? That’s one of the perks of being a Resistance agent—
(Rose cuts herself off, realizing she has revealed a major secret about herself. Starlight gasps in surprise.)
Rose: (puts her paw on her chin in thought, then pulls out a futuristic-looking Space Station device) Starlight, I don’t want to do this to an innocent Neopian, but... I order you to forget everything I said within the past minute! Aristotle, forget I ever said I was better than you at “The Search for Princess Lunara!”
(A beam is aimed at each of them, and neither Aristotle nor Starlight remembers anything Rose has said.)
Starlight: So, what was I about to do?
(Both Rose and Aristotle whisper in thought and laugh quietly)
Rose and Aristotle: You were about to do the hula!
(Starlight puts on a hula skirt and lei, and then does the hula, wasting about two minutes of interview time.)
Starlight: Oh, yeah, I remember now!
(Both Aristotle and Rose gasp in horror, realizing Starlight may not have forgotten Rose’s secret after all.)
Starlight: I was about to ask you guys met each other and became friends.
Rose: Thank goodness! I thought you were about to say something else! Well, I tried to save Aristotle from being trapped by... by...
Starlight: You mean, Roothless?
(Aristotle and Rose both gasp and shudder at the same time upon hearing their former captor’s name.)
Rose: Yes... I just can’t bring myself to say his name. I was captured in his dungeon once along with Aristotle, and if it weren’t for him, I would’ve gone insane and thought Jelly World existed!
Aristotle: Well, if it weren’t for you and your escape plan, Rose, we never would have gotten out of there!
Starlight: I believe that’s all the time we have, everyone! Good-bye!
Rose and Aristotle (together): Remember to read more about us and our adventures in “Rose’s Rising,” coming soon to the Neopian Times by the same author, kittenkutie936!
TNT Disclaimer Announcer: Remember, everyone, Jelly World does not really exist. Just because a semi-famous (okay, maybe not) Neopian says it exists doesn’t make it true.
Rose: I never said anything about that!
TNT Disclaimer Announcer: Oh, just go and pretend to be a Resistance agent or something!
Rose: What if I don’t have to pretend? (Rose winks at the audience, and then the screen fades to black.
This is my first ever submission to the Times! Look for the "Resistance Chronicles" miniseries coming soon by me!