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Ten Questions We May Never Find the Answers To


by silvernonsense

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Being humans and all (assuming you are in fact human), it is our duty to be inquisitive. Furthermore, we are Neopians, meaning our questionable natures are heightened to a level 42.8% higher than the average human (once again, I only assume your form).

But some questions that we ask appear to have no obtainable answer. Questions that we repeatedly ask our parents and superiors, expecting answers with little effort or consideration, but nothing comes aside from some a raised eyebrow, biting of the lip or puzzled squinting of the eyes. And no, I’m not talking about the boring ones we always hear about like crop circles and unusual UFO sightings but the really intriguing questions that arise right here in our very own Neopia. I’ve compiled a list, numbered in no particular order, of the top 10 most interesting questions that we may never find an answer to.

1. How do paintbrushes hum?

For all of us that have ever had a paintbrush sitting admirably in our inventory, we notice they are humming. Humming? Humming?! How in the world can paintbrushes made of wood and coarse uni hairs possibly hum? As far as I know, paintbrushes have neither mouths nor vocal cords to make this humming noise with. It seems practically impossible for such an occurrence to arise. And, secondly, are they humming a single repetitive tone or pleasant tune? These are things I'd like to know.

2. Why did the Faerie Queen make the Hidden Tower invisible?

It’s apparent that the Faerie Queen is attempting to raise money for Faerieland by selling excruciatingly expensive items in her tower. But, if she wants to raise money, wouldn’t she want a location that, I don’t know, people could see? If I was walking around, my brand new Magenta Striped Trousers' pockets filled to the brim with seven million neopoints, ready to purchase myself a spiffy Ultra Bubble Gun, you would think I would like to purchase it from a store that was visible. Wouldn’t you?

3. What exactly are camouflage Ixi supposed to blend in to?

Last I checked, plastering yourself with bright red splotches isn’t the easiest way to hide from other predatory neopets. And, from what I’ve been told, Ixi are originally from the lush, green hills of Meridell. Perhaps I’m just mistaken and since I last visited, Meridell’s green grass and pleasing emerald trees have been transformed into a disarray of red blemished buildings and flowing lava floors but last I checked, no such thing has occurred.

4. Why is Plesio the only Tyrannian Jungle citizen that can speak proper English?

Everyone else I visit in the Tyrannian Jungle comes at me spouting off vowel sounds and unidentifiable noises followed by the occasional “Ugga ugga” while Plesio, our good Flotsam friend at the commonplace Wheel of Mediocrity, quietly converses with us in our own native tongue. No wonder he’s bored! He’s been sitting there for years without anybody to properly communicate with!

5. What is the use of the Lever of Doom?

As far as I can tell, there’s nothing doom related about it aside from the fact that it occasionally takes pleasure in stealing 100 neopoints from me. It’s not like the creators of the Space Station said, “Oh hey, let’s put a gigantic useless lever in this corner of the Supply Deck just so people will fret over what might possibly be the use of it.” Or did they?

6. Exactly how many piles of dung are there in Neopia?

You would think Piles of Dung would be biodegradable but, heck, even the Money Tree doesn’t want to use them as fertilizer for her roots. With all these piles of dung going around untouched, unwanted and unbelievably smelly, how many of them could there possibly be? Do you think, maybe, with their massive amounts outnumbering us by the millions, they might actually... take over?

7. Will Meepits some day command the world?

*Stares into magic 8-ball* “Ask again later.” I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see... *shifty eyes*

8. How can a grey pet be in a “Delighted!” mood?

Considering their constant gloomy expressions, you would think it would be rather impossible for these melancholy creatures to obtain pleasant moods. Yet somehow, a frowning grey Blumaroo can be in a perfectly content mood after a few plays with his favorite Quiggle plushie and a tiki tour on Mystery Island. Dismally staring at me, yet happy all the same. I can’t help but stare back, utterly confounded.

9. How, in the world, do potatoes fly?

I arrive at a seemingly ordinary farm where an interesting looking Wocky asks me to participate in some “radical potato counting, man!”. I agree, supposing I might get a few neopoints out of it while I’m here when all of a sudden, potatoes start flying around in all directions! First of all, it’s odd that I’m counting potatoes, let alone flying potatoes. It turns out to be quite a puzzling circumstance, I must admit. After all, they are potatoes. They're not exactly the most aerodynamic crop ever cultivated.

10. What is Dr. Sloth exactly?

For Dr. Sloth to be such a feared character, bent on Neopian domination and whatnot, we certainly don’t know a whole lot about him. Sure, I can deal with not knowing his age, his middle name or his favorite flavor of neocola, but, come on, we don’t even know his species? If we’re going to have someone such as him threatening the perfect peaceful happiness of our Neopian world, I think we ought to at least know what the heck he is. Am I right?

As I’ve said, we are constantly intrigued by our world and all the things we don’t necessarily understand. But when it comes to some questions, it seems as though we will constantly be perplexed by them and possibly never find out the reasons or answers behind them. My hopes are that slowly, after much time, deliberation and investigation we will one day find the answers to these questions, but for now, we can only sit and wonder.

 
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