Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 190,984,555 Issue: 384 | 20th day of Running, Y11
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Replacing Illusen

by a_greenparrot


Dear Illusen,

     It is time for your faerie test again. As you are no doubt aware, you will be tested in spells, faerie history, and magical objects. This test is mandatory and will take place from 7:00am NST to 5:00pm NST tomorrow. If you do not take this test, all of your magic will be removed and you will have to go back to square one at being a faerie. I look forward to seeing you.


     Illusen looked at the notice nervously. It was not the test she feared; it was the fact that she would not be at her glade for ten hours. In just one day so many people would offer to bring her items. If she was gone, there would be an uncountable amount of Neopets waiting to do a quest for her, but she couldn’t give up any quests. It was her responsibility to give out quests no matter what (unless the person had recently done a quest for Jhudora, but that was totally another matter).

     After much biting on her long green nails and tugging on her brown and green hair, Illusen came to the conclusion that she would have to find someone to replace her for the day. The Earth Faerie stood up and paced around her glade. She still had a bit of a dilemma; not just anyone could replace her. It had to be a faerie; and Earth Faerie would be best. This person had to be someone that Illusen could trust and was good at magic. As Illusen flapped her leaf-like wings nervously, she thought of any faeries she might know. Eventually, she could only think of one faerie she had a remote connection with. It was her sister who lived in the Haunted Woods and never made any contact with Illusen.

     The Earth Faerie reached into her lime green skirt and pulled out a crumpled out piece of paper and a pencil. She quickly wrote down her letter and slipped it into a regal looking envelope. She then summoned a nearby Weewoo and told it to take it to her sister. Somehow the delivery Weewoos always knew where the recipients of mail lived.


     Dear Ilere,

     I am aware that I have not spoken to you in years, but I have a very important favour to ask of you. I need you to take my job as a quest giver at my glade tomorrow from 7:00am NST to 5:00pm NST. I am sorry to ask this of you with such short notice, but you are the only person I can trust. I am sure that you know the regulations of quest giving; we did take the same quest course in faerie school. You must understand that this is highly important.

     A thousand thanks from your always loving sister, Illusen

     Ilere turned the letter around in her hands as she thought. She sat at her table in her mysterious home. Her jade hair tumbled in front of her toxic green eyes. Normally she would never even consider leaving the Haunted Woods, but she knew that, for some reason or another, Illusen’s Glade was very important. She had thought of quest giving when she was younger, but she had soon given up. Still, she had learned enough to know that if a quest faerie disappeared for one day, it could cause chaos. So that was why she decided to help her sister.


     Ilere walked ominously as she entered Meridell. Her long cloak dragged along the grass like hanging branches. The earth faerie shuddered at the immense amount of sunlight. After spending so many years in the Haunted Woods, she had forgotten how bright it was outside. She walked slowly and carefully through the foreign land. Everywhere people were staring and pointing at her. When she turned to look at them, they immediately found something to look busy. Eventually, Ilere found Illusen’s Glade; Illusen was absent.

     “I guess she’s left already,” concluded Ilere as she sat down on the grass.

     The Earth Faerie sighed at the long day ahead of her. She kept telling herself that it would just be for one day and then never again. Behind Ilere was a pile of items that Illusen had collected or gave out as prizes. Next to the pile were a pair of books marked Illusen’s Log of Questees and How to be a Good Quest Faerie.

     Ilere looked at the log book and declared, “I won’t need the other book, but this log book may be useful.”

     She looked of the faces of Neopians and saw what level they were at, what they should quest for, and what they should receive as a prize. Ilere looked over the book, but did not want to have to read all of the many pages. After waiting in the hot, glaring sun, Ilere made a notice. No one was coming to her. She knew that normally there were tons of people bearing items and asking for quests. There was almost always a line all day. She looked up at the people and saw that faces were peeking at her nervously. She did look very dangerous and no one wanted to get close to her.

     “Fine, if no one comes, then that means less work for me,” declared Ilere.

     However, by noon when the sun was hottest, Ilere could not stand to be out in the open any longer. She decided to find someone else to take her place. It probably wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t a faerie; after all, it was just for half a day. Soon she had an idea of someone who she could get to do her job. The Earth Faerie reached into her drooping cloak and pulled out a large leaf and half a pencil. She then began to write.


     Dear Sophie,

     I have a job for you. You may not want to do it, but you have to. In case you have forgotten, I rescued you when you were younger and provided you with what you needed to survive. I did all of that for nothing, so you owe me. Your power is as great as mine, so you can probably handle the job. Your task is to take over Illusen’s Glade for the rest of the day. There is a book here that should help you. Good luck.


     Sophie read over the letter in one hand while she stirred her potion rapidly with the other hand. Once the potion was an inky black, she sat down in her rocking chair and read the letter again. The green Ixi wore patched up clothes and a brimmed hat. Her hair was long and tangled.

     “She cannot be serious,” shouted the witch as she stared at the letter. “I do not work with people.”

     However, Sophie did feel like she owed Ilere. The Earth Faerie had not asked for anything in return until now. Sophie had been pretty bored lately and decided that if it was just a few hours, it couldn’t be that bad.

     As she marched out of her messy shack, she called out, “You Meowclopses be good while I’m gone.”


     The green Ixi stepped out of the spooky forest and into the cheery land of Meridell. She found Illusen’s Glade and sat down. She had just gotten comfortable when a red Kiko approached her.

     “I’m ready for my next quest,” he announced.

     “Oh,” said Sophie as she tried to think of what to ask for, “bring me a bomberry.”

     “But it’s my 17th quest,” protested the Kiko.

     “What does that mean?” shouted Sophie, who wanted to zap the Kiko into a Slorg.

     She saw that there was a group of other Neopets gathering around and asking for quests too. She tried to talk to them one at a time, but she couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then she noticed the two books that were beside the pile and immediately picked them up. She looked through the log book and tried to find the questees’ faces. It was very difficult and the questees were getting impatient

     “Hurry up already!” complained a Bruce.

     Sophie was ready to use a nasty spell on anyone who was annoying her. She looked into the How to be a Good Quest Faerie book and turned to the chapter that was called Punishments. She groaned in disappointment as she saw that she couldn’t do anything more severe than making them go back to level 1. The everyone in the crowd was shouting at Sophie for taking too long and that they wanted to be given a quest.

     Eventually Sophie just screamed, “That’s it! I’m out of here!”

     She pushed aside the angry Neopets and stormed through Meridell. She kept pushing people away form her until she had arrived at the edge of the Haunted Woods. Once she was sure that no one was following her, she thought of who could do the job better than her. She needed someone who was good with people. Suddenly an idea came to her. She reached into of her pockets and pull of a piece of paper and a stick with a red ink on it.


     Dear Reginald,

     I know that I haven’t seen you in a while, but you are still my brother. Big brothers help out their little sisters, right? Well, I need help right now. Just until 5:00pm I need you to monitor Illusen’s Glade. You have much more experience with people than I do. There are some books there that can help you. I know you can do it.


     The brown Lupe placed the letter down as he thought about what Sophie was asking. Reginald figured that it would not be too hard and that he could do it. He dusted off his purple suit and brushed his brown hair, then set off for Meridell.


     When Reginald arrived at Meridell, the first thing he noticed was how dirty it was. There was mud and dung everywhere. People were wearing filthy clothing and walking around not caring how the dust was clinging to their fur. He avoided the buildings and watched where he stepped. He eventually arrived at Illusen’s Glade, which was thankfully clean. He saw a large crowd waiting at the glade and squeezed through them.

     “Attention, everybody,” he called out to the crowd, “I will be giving your quests-” the crowd cheered at this- “just as soon as I finish reading these two books.”

     Immediately the crowds cheering turned to groaning. Reginald ignored them as he sat down and began to read How to be a Good Quest Faerie. People began to complain and urge Reginald to hurry up, but the Lupe didn’t hear them. When he was reading, nothing could penetrate his mind.


     Lisha cleaned off her glasses and looked out the window. She had heard a lot of excitement coming from Illusen’s Glade all day and it was time she learned what was going on. The Aisha saw a large crowd, but she couldn’t see Illusen. Instead she saw a brown Lupe reading Illusen’s book.

     “What does that Lupe think he’s doing?” she asked herself.

     She decided to put a stop to this chaos. She grabbed her star wand and walked to the stair and out of the castle. She rushed along the green grass and to Illusen’s Glade.

     “What is going on here?” she asked the Lupe.

     “I am replacing Illusen,” explained Reginald. “As soon as I finish this book, I’ll start taking giving people quests.”

     “You’ll never get done in time,” scoffed Lisha. “Let me take over; I have magic to help. You can go home.”

     Reginald left gratefully and Lisha announced, “I will be running things in an orderly fashion now. Who was first.”

     The red Kiko stepped forward and Lisha snapped her wand. Magically, the log book opened to his face.

     “Bring me a bottle of purple sand,” said Lisha as the Kiko rushed off.

     She continued the rest of the day following that process. She soon sped up her work and by 4:59pm everyone was happy.

     “Now I can go home,” said Lisha as she left the glade.

     Just after she left, Illusen landed at the glade gracefully.

     “I passed again,” she said to herself, “and it looks like Ilere had no trouble at all running my glade.”

The End

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