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Alternate Uses for Illusen's Underappreciated Prizes

by rosabellk


Why do we put up with Illusen? Seriously, if someone came up to you on the street and asked you for a random item, you’d think they were crazy. And yet the second Illusen asks for some Tigerbuggle Sushi, everybody rushes to the Shop Wizard in a frenzy and presents her with the item in seconds. So why do we do it? Simple: the prizes.

Nearly every Neopian covets a Honey Potion or Illusen’s Blade. And, in the dreams of every quester, is the nearly-unattainable: Illusen’s Orb Plant. No, wait, I mean Illusen’s Staff. Yeah, that one. But what about the other prizes? The not-so-glamorous ones. The Illusen’s Cream Cookies and the Cucumber Eye Creams. Their fate is often to be tossed in a Safety Deposit Box or donated to the Money Tree or even discarded, never to be seen again.

Why do we disregard these cheaper prizes? Sure, they may not net you the profit you’d get with an Illusen’s Scroll, but they’re all unique and, dare I say it, special in their own way. But even better: they serve not only one purpose, but many! And so, in this article, I will present you with the main use and three alternate uses of the five cheapest prizes from Illusen’s Glade.

1. Illusen’s Cream Cookie

These cookies are by far the most common and least respected of Illusen’s prizes. Coming from the first quest and selling for as low as ten or twenty neopoints, these delightful treats are treated as trifles. But if you can overcome your pricing prejudice, you’ll find that the cookies that bear Illusen’s name are as sweet as the Faerie herself.

Primary Use:

Food. Well, this one’s pretty obvious. Cookies are for eating, silly!

Alternate Uses:

1. Stack them on top of each other! Illusen’s Cookies make a great substitute for building blocks for young pets. And the fact that they’re edible only adds to the fun. Plus, the icing acts like cement, so your structures will hold together.

2. You can use your Illusen’s Cookie as a sneaky practical joke. Just conceal one in your hand and offer a handshake to a friend. They’ll come away from it with a sticky surprise! You can also use this trick on your pets, provided they have hands and not hooves, wings, or flippers.

3. Not the constructive type or a practical joker? No problem! Just use an Illusen’s Cookie as a bookmark! When you’re ready to take a break from reading, place the cookie on the page you’re on and close the book. It’s that simple. Sure, it’ll turn the book into a sticky mess that you’ll never be able to read, but at least you’ll know what page you were on.

2. Illusen’s Potion

Illusen’s Potion isn’t exactly the most sought-after prize either. Obtained from completing Illusen’s third quest, this potion causes a bit of damage in the Battledome, but not nearly enough to be an effective weapon.

Primary Use:

Battledome weapon. If you throw this potion on your opponent, it’s sure to sting, since it’s rather caustic. However, the Potion only deals four icons of damage (two earth and two light), which makes it laughable in today’s world of Ylana’s Blasters and Golden Compasses.

Alternate Uses:

1. As previously mentioned, Illusen’s Potion is slightly basic in nature, with a pH around eleven. This makes it perfect as a household cleaner! Just rub down your windows or floors with a paper towel moistened with a dab of the Potion to leave them clean and smelling forest-y fresh. Just remember to wash your hands if you spill any on them.

2. Illusen’s Potion is also very slippery, which makes it perfect for oiling squeaky hinges. No longer will you need to suffer through squeaks every time you open your front door! If you live in a dungeon, however, you might want to refrain from oiling your hinges to retain the ambiance.

3. By now you know that you can use Illusen’s Potion in the Battledome, but did you ever consider using it in the Petpet Battledome? Now, I know that you can’t technically equip Petpets with weapons, but that won’t stop an enterprising Neopian such as myself. Why, with just a bit of twine and some elbow grease, you’ll be ready to go. Get a leg up on your opponents; they’ll never know what hit them. Four icons of damage may not be much to a Neopet, but it’ll take quite a chunk out of Quasar the Kookith’s HP.

3. Illusen’s Comb

Yet another cheap, underappreciated item. This little plastic comb may look like a useless trinket, but a creative mind can turn it into all sorts of fun.

Primary Use:

Grooming item. Like the Illusen’s Cream Cookie, this one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a comb. You use it for combing.

Alternate Uses:

1. Have a Petpetpet? If so, the lucky little critter just got a new playground! Most Petpetpets will love hopping from the tip of one tooth to the next. Fleafs and Moffits will especially enjoy this, given their predisposition for jumping.

2. Grab something sticky and attach the comb to your upper lip. Congratulations, you are now the owner of a very bizarre green mustache! Use your new disguise to get into restricted areas. Guards will be too baffled by the comb on your face to question why you’re there. Neopia is your oyster!

3. This is an oldie but a goodie. Take a small sheet of wax paper and hold it against the comb. You just made a kazoo! Toot out all of your favorite tunes until you drive everyone around you crazy.

4. Cucumber Eye Cream

This is one of the most soothing and rejuvenating luxuries you could treat yourself to. Made from cucumbers Illusen grows herself, it may even be slightly magical. But, magical or not, it certainly is soothing.

Primary Use:

Grooming item. Just spread a dollop around your eyes and watch the stress and wrinkles melt away. As the item’s description says, it’s ideal for pets who don’t get enough beauty sleep.

Alternate Uses:

1. Are you hosting a party and need some snacks? Just grab some crackers and spread a layer of Cucumber Eye Cream on them. Instant canapés! That’s right, this already-amazing Eye Cream is also edible. It has a delicate, mild flavor, so serve it with light, buttery crackers. (Note: the author of this article does not condone the eating of any other grooming products.)

2. Not only is this amazing cream edible, but you can also use it as hair gel! Really, Illusen outdid herself with this one. Just grab a handful, plop it on your head, and slick a hand back through your hair. There, now you’re ready for a night on the town. For best results, wear with a black leather jacket.

3. Have you ever heard the saying “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Well, that may be true, but you can catch the most flies with Cucumber Eye Cream! Yes, for some reason flies just love the taste of Cucumber Eye Cream. So if your house is infested with flies, just leave a plate of the cream out, and in the morning, your flies will be well-fed and so grateful for the treat that they’ll leave your house out of gratitude. Isn’t that nice of them?

5. Illusen’s Novel

This extremely compelling tale is a chronicle of Illusen’s life. Read a few pages and you’ll be hooked by her wonderful writing style and exciting adventures. This is actually a fairly decent prize, selling for around 1,000 NP. But just because it’s a quality item doesn’t mean you can’t use it for other purposes!

Primary Use:

Book. You really ought to pick this one up. The book explains Illusen’s origins, why she moved to Meridell from Faerieland, and even the genesis of her feud with Jhudora. The only downside is that you’ll have to buy a new copy if you want to read it again since it puffs into sweet-smelling green smoke once you finish reading it.

Alternate Uses:

1. This tome actually makes a fairly good Battledome weapon. Illusen has lived quite a few years, which means quite a few pages, which means a rather heavy book. Smack your opponent over the head with it to give them a truly unexpected surprise.

2. If your pet likes anagrams and you own a pair of scissors, you can have hours of fun with this book. Simply choose a sentence, cut it out of the book, snip apart the letters, and rearrange them until you get something interesting. For example, did you know “I hate Jhudora” becomes “a jade hit hour” or “Aha! I hurt Joe” or “I, thou head jar”? Be careful, though; too much of this and your pet may turn into Eliv Thade.

3. Having your book turn into smoke after you read it isn’t all bad, though. As previously mentioned, the smoke the book turns to has a rather pleasant aroma, reminiscent of Illusen’s glade itself. So, once your pet nears the end of the book, have a bottle ready. As he or she reads the last word, catch the smoke that results in the bottle and cork it. Now you have an air freshener! Just uncork the bottle to remove any unpleasant odors that may arise.

So there you have it, fifteen alternate uses for some of Illusen’s less-appreciated prizes. Hopefully now you’ll think twice before you stuff that Illusen’s Comb in your Safety Deposit Box or throw away that Illusen’s Cream Cookie. And, as always, happy questing!

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