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Interviews With the Avatar Keepers


by fin4lattempt

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Have you ever been playing a game and trying to go for the avatar, and then all of a sudden you lose? Say you were playing Double or Nothing, and you were on the last flip, then you see it’s tails and you LOSE! Snargan takes all of your money and gets extra cheese on his burger that night. Don’t these people like Snargan frustrate you (and the rest of Neopia, too!)? If you said yes, then today is your lucky day. Below are interviews with each of these “Avatar Keepers”, the name I’ve dubbed them. Simply enough, these interviews will allow you to see what’s really going on when you play these games. Hopefully they’ll help give you a couple inside tips on the games as well! We have interviews with Jarbjarb from Tyranu Evavu, Snargan from Double or Nothing, the Techo Master from The Buzzer Game, and a very special guest at the end! Enjoy.

First up, we have Jarbjarb who runs Tyranu Evavu. Hey there, Jarbjarb, how are you?

Jarbjarb (translated): Just great! I just love it when people tear the cards in half after they lose!

So Jarbjarb, how long exactly have you been hosting Tyranu Evavu?

Well, I have been hosting this game ever since Tyrannia was discovered, back in Y3.

Wow, that’s a long time!

Yeah, and everyone who plays Tyranu Evavu always seems to have some contempt for me.

I’m sorry. So tell us, what is the normal reaction when players come close to getting the Tyranu Evavu avatar, but end up losing?

Let’s just say I usually have to pick up cards for about 5 minutes after that are scattered around my hut. Uggsul and Oogaroo don’t even bother to help me!

Ouch! Now, a lot of people probably accuse you and your fellow game hosts of “cheating” or “stacking the deck”. Is this true?

Hmmm... well... uh...

Just answer the question.

I’d have to say that sometimes I like to give people a bunch of middle cards in a row. You know, those cards that could go either way, like 7, 8, or 9. That REALLY makes people angry. Teehee.

Don’t you think that is the reason people get mad at you? Or as you say, “have some contempt”?

Well, I do have to make the game interesting!

Okay... so do you have any tips for the avid avatar addicts out there who still need to get the Tyranu Evavu avatar?

After I just admitted that I like to frustrate those Neopians that play my game, I suppose I could give out a few helpful tips. As host of Tyranu Evavu I usually stick to this following plan: for cards 2 – 6, I suggest you always choose Tyranu. Odds are you’re going to be right. For cards 10 – A, I suggest that you always choose Evavu. Now, the confusing part is that middle part which I really like. For 7 and 8 I advise you pick Evavu, and for 9 you should pick Tyranu. But you’ve got feel it! Chances are it could go either way. Also, be careful when you choose either Tyranu or Evavu; sometimes I get really bored and I switch the two buttons around. Good luck with the avatar and keep trying! Thanks for the interview, bud.

Next up is Snargan, from Double or Nothing. Hi Snargan! How’s your day been?

Snargan: Ugh... I better get paid for this.

Moving on to our next question... what exactly are the odds of a player getting heads in Double or Nothing?

It’s 50%, I swear! Those are standard neopoint coins! *cough*

But, I’ve heard you say, and I quote, “Hang on, that coin was supposed to have tails on both sides!”. What’s going on?

Well, er, next question.

Alrighty, then. Are you friends with any of the other luck/chance game hosts?

Of course! I’m great friends with the Lupe who runs the Bagatelle stand in the Deserted Fairground and Sidney who runs the Scratchcard Kiosk there. A lot of times us luck/chance game hosts get together to plan out how to che- er... have fun.

Now, your game doesn’t seem too complicated, but could you give the readers some type of inside hint? They would really appreciate it...

Fine, fine. I can’t really say much since there isn’t much to say, but the way to get the avatar is persistence! Just do some finger stretches before you play, and then just keep on clicking until you beat the odds. Which are 50-50!

Note to readers: If you are interested in interviewing Snargan, take extreme caution! I ended up being thrown out of the castle for trying to “exploit the game”.

Now moving on to our third interviewee, the Techo Master from the Buzzer Game! Due to security purposes, the Techo Master has refused to give out his real name. He insists that the meepits are always watching. So Techo Master, what’s up?

Techo Master: Patience, young grasshopper, and you shall find the answer to your question in time.

I just asked how you were doing... but oh well! How is The Buzzer Game going? Everything running smoothly?

As smoothly as possible when every few seconds you hear, “BZZZZZZZZ”. After years of that I’m starting to think I always hear a faint buzz, even when I’m away from the game.

I’m quite sorry. You should probably get some Magic Goop from the pharmacy, which always helps me when I have a headache.

Ah, another mistake, young grasshopper. Masters such as myself do not require the medicine of modern society!

Eh, we should get back to some questions about the game. So what is the reason behind you making faces at players while they so carefully guide the metal hoop over the wire? And what is with all that falling stuff in the background?

Ah! I sensed you would ask that question. I make faces at them because the game would be so easy otherwise! I want these Neopians to work for the avatar, not just pass through the levels unchallenged, so I decided mocking them would be the best course of action. And as for the falling objects, those are just some students that I recruited from the Mystery Island Training School who wanted some “extra credit”. I gave them all sorts of things to throw!

I’m sure people are going to love reading that! Now, to wrap up this interview, what tips can you give those eager Neopians out there?

As I have been saying all my life, grasshopper, patience and balance is the key. I have seen many people rush through the game to try and get the bonus points. Be patient, and carefully move the metal hoop across the wire. Make sure you have a quiet atmosphere, with maybe some calm music playing. You will thank me in the end for this lesson!

And now, for our final interview (and this is a special one!), the Lever of DOOM! I was lucky to get an interview with... it. But I just don’t understand how to talk to it... maybe I just pull the lev- OUCH! It just robbed me of 100 neopoints!

What... a... *bzzt*... pathetic humanoid. *click*

Are you making fun of me? You’re barely a robot! Ugh, questions, questions... roughly how many unsuspecting Neopians pull your lever every day and get robbed, all for an avatar?

Enough... *ting*... to make me a... *meow*... millionaire!

Wow, that’s a lot of neopoints you’ve made! And did you just meow?

Still working out the *bzzt* glitches in my system.

Okay, I’ve got to admit, I’m pretty nervous. Can you just tell the readers how to get the Lever of Doom avatar quicker?

Pull the lever faster... *bzzt*

Thanks for noth-

*system overload*

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After what seemed like hours, I am now stuck in a cramped metal crate, packed with tons of cheap Return of Sloth plot prizes. Note to self: do not anger robots with large metal hands.

 
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