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P.A.R.E.


by tripotage

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We all know that there are many different types of random events that you get by just happily browsing Neopia. Maybe some clumsy Neopian will spill some neopoints and you just happen to be around to hastily pick them up. Or, you know, your pet will be altered into a completely different color or species for no apparent reason...

Pet altering random events, or P.A.R.E. for short, can’t be considered either bad or good. Maybe one day you’re traipsing around Neopia Central and BAM, your pet randomly gains a level, or its strength magically increases. I know what you’re thinking, “Sweet! Less money to be spent on super expensive codestones to train my pet.” Or let's just say you have some boring old basic pet, and the clouds part and out comes Boochi with his ray gun of awesomeness and turns your pet into a baby!

Great, right? Not always...

P.A.R.E has a downside. That ray gun of awesomeness could easily be a ray gun of utter horror and distain! You’re walking around with your adorable UC Faerie Xweetok, and Boochi strikes turning your beautiful, rare and priceless pet into a 580k disaster.

Or even worse, you’re walking around with your adorable UC Faerie Xweetok and suddenly you get a random event, “Oh no! Where on earth is , you can't find them anywhere!!! Where on Neopia could they be?” You know what that means now, right? Your pet is invisible. So not only do you no longer have your amazing UC Faerie Xweetok, you can’t even find your pet. If you ever happened to walk your pet in a crowded mall you’d be up the creek without a paddle now wouldn’t you?

Or another random event! You have your wonderful, stupendous, amazing UC Faerie Xwee (can you tell by now that that’s my dream pet?) and... “A torrent of multi-coloured water falls from the sky and DRENCHES !!! You hear evil cackling from the sky...” and your pet is now a random color. I would be seething with anger! Downright seething!

Some people have made the suggestion, “Why don’t you just make it so Boochi gives out Baby Paint Brushes instead of just having him completely alter my pet that I might have paid millions for without my consent?” And that could be a good idea. “Boochi fires his ray gun and it materializes a Baby Paint Brush right into your inventory!” That way, if you want a baby pet, you’ve got one. And if not, you’ve just made yourself an extra 580k. But some people worry that if that were to occur, Boochi would be stepping into Jacko the Phantom Painter’s territory. And we wouldn’t want Jacko getting upset.

Some ways to avoid the pet altering random events that change your pet Blue or Red are to make sure they’re always happy, play with them, and feed them, so they don’t have a reason to be sad or angry. The only way to completely avoid P.A.R.E is to never have a pet as your active that you are not willing to have altered. And if you have 4 UC Plushie Draiks on your account, there’s nothing you can do. Sorry!

Some angry (and rich) Neopians are protesting P.A.R.E., stating that they spend so much time and neopoints on getting their dream pets only to have their pets randomly changed. So yeah, that would be a major buzz kill. But what about all the Neopians who want baby pets but can’t afford the 580k to turn their pet into something adorable? In my opinion, I say MORE P.A.R.E. Yes, I demand more P.A.R.E.

Yes, of course, turning an expensive pet into a less expensive pet is horrific and wrong, but honestly how often does that happen? Most of the time it’s a basic pet that is changed. I know if I were a basic pet, I’d rather be an adorable baby pet. If these random events only handed out paintbrushes, it would only entice the owner to be greedy and sell the paintbrush rather than using it for its intended purpose and using it to customize their pets into something more unique and pleasing. The hunger for neopoints will never fade, so the only way to guarantee that their pets will be altered is to alter them in the random event.

So yes. I demand more pet altering random events. Change my pet Darigan, Pirate, or Grey, PLEASE. I’m sure there are more Neopians who wouldn’t care rather than Neopians who would care. And if they would care they shouldn’t have had that pet as their active. There are chat groups on the boards dedicated to hoping that Boochi will strike their pet and change it into something more aesthetically pleasing, and who are we to deny them that hopeful possibility?

In my years at Neopets, I’ve never had a pet altering random event. So they’re obviously very rare. So before you crazy and paranoid Neopians go trying to keep your beautiful pets away from the notorious Boochi, just know that there are times when you can show off your pet as your active pet without a care in the world. So take your pet out of your safety deposit box. Yes, I’m talking to you, SET HER FREE RIGHT NOW. It’s stifling hot in there.

So whether you love pet altering random events or hate them, you just have to accept that these events are here to stay, and there may be more to come. There a part of what makes Neopets special and they always keep you guessing about what could happen next on this wonderful planet. So whether you get a good P.A.R.E. or a bad P.A.R.E., just know that this is all a part of the wonder and the mystery of your life as a Neopian. And just be happy that your Neolife is not boring and predictable where nothing amazing or horrible ever happens.

 
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