There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 175,178,569 Issue: 372 | 19th day of Celebrating, Y10
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Borovan: The Cure to Those Winter Blahs


by danceswithpampers

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My summer-loving friends, it is my distinct displeasure to inform you that our dearly beloved summer has retired, and our arch enemy, winter, is on his way. Before you begin to panic, however, allow me to shed some light upon your downcast faces. There are many things we will lose, while our dear friend vacations in the southern tip of Neopia, but one thing we will always have is our Borovan. So, turn those frowns upside down and celebrate with me the one thing that stays with us, no matter the weather: Borovan!

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of experiencing a nice, refreshing cup of Borovan, I would recommend that you stop what you are doing – NOW – and run, not walk, to your nearest Borovan supplier. (The somewhat frightening and rather plump Chia at Neopian Fresh Foods Market may have a terrible odor about him, but he makes some of the best Borovan in the world!)

What is Borovan, you ask? Good question – moving on.

I have recently had a revelation that I feel I must share with all of my fellow winter-despising comrades. Though winter is, as we all know, the cruelest, coldest, and downright smelliest season of all, it does have its perks. Now, before you bring out your torches, pitchforks, and Inflatable Kyrii Bats, hear me out. I was recently visiting my dear friend, Lady Osiri, at the Neopian Lodge (It’s such a nice place, you really should book a holiday there), when she ordered two cups of the most delectable Borovan I had ever tasted. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how I had never tasted such an indescribably delectable cup of Borovan, when she informed me that “this flavor is only available in the months of Storing and Celebrating.” Imagine that: A winter exclusive Borovan. So, my dear summer enthusiasts, I would like to take this time to inform you of the seven Borovan flavors that are available exclusively in the wintery calendar months. Perhaps their luscious, rich tastes will change your mind about winter, as they have mine.

1. Super Spicy Borovan:

Borovan lovers of the world, Rejoice! This warm Borovan is just the thing to warm you up on those frigid winter mornings, when all you want to do is tuck your head back under the covers and take the next train into Sleepy Town. Complemented by a warm sprig of cinnamon, this warm bowl of Borovan is as delectable as it sounds. With an assortment of twelve different spices, from zesty paprika to just a pinch of the secret ingredient, this Borovan caters to those with an appetite for all things sizzling!

2. Vanilla Flavoured Borovan:

For those whose taste buds haven’t quite adapted to the world of super spice, Vanilla Flavoured Borovan is right up your alley. Made from a secret recipe known only to the employees at Kau Kau Farm and the Neopian Fresh Foods Market, Vanilla Flavoured Borovan is anything but dull. Sure, it’s a hundred times milder than Super Spicy Borovan, but with a sweet vanilla glaze and a dash of basil, who wouldn’t want a taste? I recommend a nice Blueberry Scone to give this warming Borovan a little extra umph.

3. Apple Flavoured Borovan:

Oh, the classics. If you love apple pie in the summer, you’ll love this heart-warming, and stomach-warming I might add, Borovan. Served hot, this Borovan is sure to melt away your bitter feelings against winter and introduce you to a new world of flavor. With its signature blend of apple slices and warm cinnamon extract, Apple Flavoured Borovan is sure to warm you up. This Borovan is sure to bring a smile to all.

4. Mint Flavoured Borovan:

Fresh! Fool your dentist and your mother by drinking this surprisingly tasty and 100% nutrition-free Borovan. With a creamy vanilla base and a generous sprinkling of mint, this Borovan is sure to freshen up your breath and your taste buds! This delectable... Beverage *cough*... Soup ...*cough*... Thing... *cough* is a crowd pleaser. Even Dr. Frank Sloth enjoys it, though when asked, he refused to comment on this accusation, and, instead, simply replied, “slurrrrrrp... *belch*... What do you want, puny Neopian?! Leave me to my Borovan!” With a recommendation like that, who could pass up such a delicious... cup of Borovan?

5. Cranberry Flavoured Borovan:

DISCLAIMER: THIS BOROVAN CONTAINS NUTS!!

Health nuts of the world? UNITE! (Get it – Nuts?) This Borovan is chock full of both vitamins and minerals! (Not to mention a helping of good, old-fashioned taste!) Made from a thick, rich Cranberry base and garnished with a fair share of almonds, this Borovan is sure to please your stomach, as well as your taste buds. It’s hard to say what the best feature of this Borovan is. While some claim the best feature is the sweet aroma that tickles the senses, I argue that it’s the bold, somewhat sour taste of the hand-pressed Cranberry juice. Regardless, this Borovan’s sure to please.

6. Sprout Borovan:

“This sprout flavoured Borovan is... well... might be quite tasty.” What an understatement! Now, I’ll be honest with you, the mere sight of sprouts is enough to make my stomach turn, but believe me, this Borovan is worth trying. With its unique texture and its refreshing, healthy flavor, Sprout Borovan is perfect for teething Skeiths and Lennies – for obvious reasons. Served both hot and cold, this Sprout Borovan is sure to be a crowd pleaser.

7. Orange Flavoured Borovan:

Winter never tasted so sweet! Nothing says summer-loving like Oranges, and what better way to celebrate our favorite season than by drinking Orange Flavoured Borovan? Tangy, Zesty, Orangey goodness – that’s what you’ll find in every sip of this one-of-a-kind Borovan. Perfect for those “Winter Blahs,” this Borovan is a bursting combination of Vitamin C and tangy oranges. Made from oranges grown on an isolated island in Neopia where the sun is always shining and a nice, big helping of sugar, this Borovan is, well, perfect!

While Winter will never be as close to our hearts as Summer, these seven completely delectable flavours of Borovan (except for maybe the Sprout flavoured one... ;)) certainly improve winter’s standings. Bon Appétit!

 
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