Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 175,178,655 Issue: 371 | 12th day of Celebrating, Y10
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Maintenance Petpet Cx3L


by klaus239

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THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT OF A CHECK PERFORMED ON A MAINTENANCE PETPET ON THE VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION IN THE MONTH OF AWAKENING, Y9. IT HAS BEEN GRANTED PERUSAL BY THE NEOPIAN PUBLIC AS PART OF ‘VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION AWARENESS MONTH’, AN EFFORT BY THE NEOPIAN TOURIST SOCIETY TO SPOTLIGHT LESSER-RECOGNIZED AREAS OF NEOPIA. THIS RELEASE HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE NEOPIAN TOURIST SOCIETY

Petpet has come in contact with Virtupets brand Memory Scanner.

Memory check scheduled for 5:00:59 PM NST.

Query: What is your name?

Cx3L. [Do they want my assigned name, or my proper name? In the latter case, it would be Spot.]

Query: What are you?

[They always ask this question...] I am one of the many Petpets that were taken from their owners by Dr. Sloth to work on the Space Station. The majority of us are Robot Petpets, but several are not.

ANSWER DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE IN CONTEXT OF QUESTION. RESUBMIT.

I am a C430 Autobot, yellow colour. [Happy now?]

Query: What is your position?

Maintenance Worker for Floor B1, Tunnel Sector 3ab, Quadrant 50.

Query: What is your purpose?

Hmm. That’s difficult to say; I think I’m supposed to be doing maintenance, but who knows what I’m actually intended for? Who knows what the Pet that was our creator was thinking when they designed us? [Although you’ve got to wonder, why would a creator of any sort design us to be disabled at their will?]

Query: What is your purpose?

What do you mean, ‘what is your purpose’? Didn’t I just answer that question?

Query: What is your purpose?

Fine. Maintenance. [I was hoping I’d be able to get away with a longer answer. These scans are so to-the-point, it’s almost as if we’re supposed to just perform our job and keep quiet about it.]

Query: Who is your leader?

Dr. Sloth, of course. [Although you’ve got to wonder, why is he our leader? Why him, and not someone else? What makes him so special? Someday I’d like to say ‘the Space Faerie’, just to spite him.]

Query: State time and details of last action relating to position.

[Do I have to do this every single time?] 5:00 PM, NST. I was vacuuming the area near the north edge of Quadrant 50 when I noticed a shining silver light flashing in the darkness. From up above, I could hear the sob of a young pet. She—

Query: State present location.

Wait! I wasn’t done yet!

Query: State present location.

Why can’t you let me finish? [Let’s see if I can rewind this thing.] Query: State present— SYSTEMS BEING UPDATED. PLEASE WAIT.

Query: State time and details of last action relating to position.

That’s more like it! I heard this little girl sobbing; something about a bracelet. I could also hear a deeper voice, also female, saying something and then walking off. Normally, I would just pick up the silver thing, drop it in a slot leading to the incinerator and be done with it, but today something was different. Today, something new stirred inside me, a new thought process that had never entered my circuits before. Today, I felt... pity.

I picked up the item and examined it. It, based on my limited knowledge of such things, was likely a bracelet. Could it be the one the pet was talking about? I decided to find out.

I headed towards the nearest hatch, which are specially designed for us Petpets to move between floors (not that we ever need to, anyway; every time we try and do so, something usually malfunctions due to how tied we are to our sectors) and carefully opened the hatch and made my way out, stopping some distance behind the girl.

I could see that she was what I had overheard others in previous conversations call a Cybunny, and one that was pink in hue. She appeared to be in distress; judging by this, I perceived that the bracelet was likely hers. Bluntly ignoring the many warnings flashing in my vision that I was out of my sector and if I did not return immediately Central Management would come, I approached the Cybunny and tapped her on the shoulder with one claw.

She turned around; eyes wide open in some emotion I could not identify. I handed her the bracelet.

I made a motion towards the bracelet and then towards the Cybunny. The girl nodded, eyes still wide open, and took the silver bracelet from my claw. The last thing I heard before she ran off and I returned to the lower level was “Thank you.”

[“Thank you”? What does that mean, you might ask? I do not know, but I believe it might be some sort of greeting between more advanced species. Whatever it was, I was glad to receive it— another emotion I had not felt before...]

Query: Describe any suspicious details you may have noticed while on duty.

*sigh* You always have this question, whether any of us actually saw something or not. We can be controlled as one Petpet in case of an emergency, which doesn't happen very often, but due to it I have felt hints of discord among my fellow Petpets... a lot of them are not very happy we have been ignored, shunned aside as a mere fixture of the Station, which we most certainly are not.

DETAILS TRANSFERRED TO SECURITY DEPARTMENT FOR EVALUATION. CONTINUING TO PERSONALITY SECTION OF SCAN. WE AT VIRTUPETS INC. PRIDE OURSELVES ON OUR PERSONABLE AND FRIENDLY STAFF. IF YOU HAVE AN INQUIRY OF ANY SORT, THEY WILL BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU.

If we're so friendly, then why are we hidden in the dark, barren Maintenance Tunnels instead of being allowed to join the others above? Ever since Dr. Sloth was defeated--

CORRECTION. OUR LEADER WAS NEVER DEFEATED. HE STILL LIVES ON IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS. CONTINUE.

[The hearts and minds of whom?] Ever since the, ah, "event", the greeter Petpets have been disabled and the security Petpets have been transformed into mindless drones used for the protection of ventilation shafts. [As if anyone actually goes down there.]

CORRECTION. THE SECURITY FORCES IN THE VENTILATION SHAFTS ARE PUT TO GOOD USE IN THE CASE OF INTRUDERS. SEE FILE #95609 CODENAMED "GORIX" FOR MORE INFORMATION. CONTINUE.

[All these files... so much information being kept from us... is there anything else that's been obscured? Many Petpets seem to be vanishing lately...] I wonder why?

CORRECTION. IT IS NOT THE DUTY OF A WORKER TO WONDER. IT IS THE DUTY OF A WORKER TO WORK. CONTINUE.

[Would you just stop that? Although I did deserve it, I suppose, for not entirely cloaking my thoughts...] What's the next question, anyway?

THE NEXT QUESTION IS SPONSORED BY THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT OF VIRTUPETS, INC.

Query: Which is better, Neocola or Achyfi?

[This always gets asked...] Naturally, Achyfi is the better product, but only because it’s made by Virtupets and if anyone answers ‘Neocola’ the Security Department comes.

ANSWER DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE IN CONTEXT OF QUESTION. RESUBMIT.

[Only two times in one scan? That’s not bad.] Achyfi.

VIRTUPETS, INC. MARKETING DEPARTMENT THANKS YOU FOR YOUR OPINION. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, WE ARE LOCATED ON THE RECREATION DECK.

[These questions are so generic... I think there must also be Neopets that undergo this sort of check, somewhere else on the Station. Why else would we Petpets be encouraged to interact with the public?]

Query: What is the best thing, in your opinion, about your work?

What’s the best thing? Before today, I would have just answered with some meaningless answer about washing or dusting, but aiding that Cybunny caused a new thought process to enter my mind: What if we’re not just meant to clean? What if we can do far greater things, instead of having to hide in the shadows and act invisible? Shouldn’t it be the duty of a Petpet to assist Neopets?

SECURITY DEPARTMENT RESULTS ARE POSITIVE. DIVERGENT THOUGHT PROCESSES DETECTED. DEFECTIVE MODEL DETECTED. ALERTING CENTRAL MANAGEMENT OF ANOMALY.

No! No! Please don’t!

QUERY NOT UNDERSTOOD.

Please!

QUERY NOT UNDERSTOOD.

Please! Please! Pl-

THE NEOPIAN TOURIST SOCIETY THANKS YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN THE VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION. HAVE A NICE DAY.

The End

 
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