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Trendy Knitwear From the Spider Grundo


by arula

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Once again, this is Cylotta Cybunny, your roving fashion reporter, bringing you cutting edge stories of the most stylish clothing and accessories. This week, we'll be interviewing a unique new talent in the fashion world. You may know him from his earlier work stringing up hapless Neopets in his disgusting sticky webs and then devouring them, but did you know that he's also the mastermind behind a new line of fetching knit shawls? That's right, it's... the Spider Grundo!

Cylotta: Thank you so much for joining us, Mr. Grundo.

Spider Grundo: Not MISTER Grundo! SPIDER Grundo! You see hideous gnarled legs? How many you see? Two? No. Six? No.

Cy: I... believe there are eight.

SG: Puny Cybunny believes correctly! Eight vicious, horrible legs, because Spider Grundo is part spider! And part Grundo!

Cy: Thank you for clearing that up, Mi-- uh, Spider Grundo. If you have a moment, I know the readers are all eager to hear about your beautiful knit shawls. They're something of a trend in Neopia Center.

SG: Spider Grundo do not think "something of a trend" is adequate. Spider Grundo's line of shawls, scarves, and knitted ponchos are most popular clothing in Neopia. Spider Grundo can hardly find his mailbox anymore, it so buried in fan mail. "Do not eat us, Spider Grundo! We love your scarves!" "Please stop snaring our children in your evil goopy webs, Spider Grundo! We promise to buy more ponchos!" It almost embarrassing to Spider Grundo.

Cy: It's always nice to have an appreciative audience.

SG: Spider Grundo do not know if some of them are fans or stalkers. Two of them came all the way to Spider Grundo's cave last week, crying their eyes out, they were so excited to see Spider Grundo. "Please, Spider Grundo, our son has been missing for three weeks! Did you eat him? Did you tempt him to your cave with promises of fashionable knitwear?" Spider Grundo say, thank you very much for coming, but give Spider Grundo a little room to breathe, you know? Artists need their privacy!

Cy: They certainly do. Now, your shawls and scarves are a relatively new entry in the fashion world. How long have you been knitting? What inspired you to begin your new line?

SG: It all start last winter, when Spider Grundo get home very late from visit to Neovia. Spider Grundo very sleepy, but he know that if he just slink off to sleep in his cave of horrors without weaving his nightly web, he will wake up with no breakfast wiggling around in that web. And Spider Grundo always eat his breakfast. It most important meal of the day.

Cy: So I've heard.

SG: So Spider Grundo can barely keep his eyes open, but he start to weave his web anyway. And his horrible needle-like feet are not going in the right directions. He is falling all over himself. Spider Grundo end up with his own feet all tangled up in sticky web, which, let him say, is very embarrassing. So Spider Grundo struggle out of web and throw it on the floor, all tangled up, and wake up in the morning without any breakfast. Very cranky. But then he take another look at that tangled-up web... and realize that it PRETTY. You could wear it on your head. On your shoulders, maybe. It keep you both warm and stylish. It FASHIONABLE.

Cy: And so your knitwear line was born! But your shawls aren't made of spiderweb anymore, are they?

SG: No, Spider Grundo figure out early that that not going to work. It nice, because then shawls stick to shoulders without having to tie them, but it just too impractical. Spider Grundo put big batch of shawls in box to take to marketplace, and then when he get there, they all just one big sticky mess. Impossible to pull apart. Very frustrating.

Cy: So what materials do you use for your knitting now?

SG: Spider Grundo get a great deal on big batch of Babaa wool! He agree to let one Babaa farmer escape from his venomous clutches, and bargains just roll in. So mainly that what he use. It pretty good, both durable and versatile. But when he lucky enough to catch a Gnorbu in his nightly web, he get to use Gnorbu fleece, which much softer and also hold color better. You know any Gnorbus, puny Cybunny? You tell them, wander around outside the Haunted Woods at night, yes? Tell them not to cut their hair.

Cy: If I run across any, I'll let them know. Now, your original set of shawls and scarves were presented in plain solid colors: red, brown, and green, I believe. Bold choices, and they stood out from the pastels and jewel-tones that have been so trendy recently.

SG: Spider Grundo must admit, that not an artistic choice. It just come from what Spider Grundo have lying around. Brown from rubbing Babaa wool in mud outside his cave. Green from rubbing Babaa wool on scum from walls of cave. Spider Grundo not know what the scum is, but he think it some kind of fungus. Have nice smell, too. Tell your readers, if they have green Spider Grundo scarf, give it a smell. Nice and musty. And the red dye, that one Spider Grundo's favorite, that come from--

Cy: I'm sorry, we're quite short on time, so we'll have to move on to the next question. While your first line of clothes were solid colors, lately you've started introducing patterns into your knitwear. Last summer you came out with a line of shawls decorated with Mallards and Snorkles, and your newest set of ponchos are my personal favorite, featuring an interlocking pattern of pink and yellow Cybunnies. How do you come up with these design ideas?

SG: That easy for Spider Grundo. He just go a day or two without eating, sometimes three days if he want a really good design. Then when Spider Grundo's belly is rumbling and grumbling, he sit back and close his eyes, and all sorts of beautiful pictures fill his head. Fat, clumsy Snorkles. Juicy Mallards. Plump Cybunnies. Then he take the pictures and weave them into his shawls. It very artistic process.

Cy: Many Cybunnies are quite svelte, actually.

SG: Spider Grundo already start to plan new Spring line. You write about it in your article, yes? It will feature motif of scampering Puppyblews. Extremely fashionable. Will be a must-have for all fashion-conscious Neopians.

Cy: I hope it's a big success.

SG: Spring line will be extremely popular. Or else Spider Grundo will offer a different line. Line of BEING EATEN BY SPIDER GRUNDO.

Cy: Well, I think that's about all the time we have for today! Thank you so much, Mr. Spider Grundo, and I'm sure the readers will--

SG: Puny Cybunny write nice things about Spider Grundo, yes? Advertise Spider Grundo's designs? Let Spider Grundo see what you write in that little pad thing. Give that to Spider Grundo.

Cy: Sir, excuse me, that's my private--

SG: Bring that back here! Where Cybunny going? Come back, Cybunny! Spider Grundo must review all articles before publication! Spider Grundo will not hesitate to file libel suit! Puny Cybunny cannot outrun Spider Grundo! Spider Grundo has caught hundreds of Cybunnies! Spider Grundo can run very quickly!

And that's all for this week, fashion fans. Be sure to join me next week, when I'll be cowering in the basement of my Neohome, all doors and windows locked and barred, listening in terror for the scuttle of feet. Cylotta Cybunny, signing off!

The End

 
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