teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 175,301,044 Issue: 361 | 26th day of Gathering, Y10
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kelp: Not Just A Weed


by coolio3571

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Kelp

Now, like most Neopians, I tend to get bored VERY EASILY. The games get old. The boards are full of n00bs. Exploring just isn’t what it used to be. And I’ve visited the Coltzan Shrine so many times I’m sure he knows me by name. What is one to do in this situation? I know! Fine dining.

It all started when I was reading in my favourite newspaper, the Neopian Times. It was an old article, by one of my favourite authors (too_kule, you’re pretty much my idol). And in this article it said something about Maraqua being destroyed. I sadly and guiltily admit I am one of the many people who took quite a long break from Neopets and just started playing again about a month ago. So I was shocked by this news. In a cold nervous sweat, I rapidly thrust my mouse up to the explore button and clicked with enough force to knock down Terror Mountain (dramatization added for dramatic effect). When I got the map of Neopia, I saw Maraqua there and was instantly confused. Curiously I clicked on the button that led me to the underwater city. Once I arrived, there was a message at the top that caught my eye: “Once destroyed by pirates, and once defended from pirate attack after being discovered at its secret new location, Maraqua now stands strong, led by the able King Kelpbeard. Peace now reigns in Maraqua, and trade with the surface is flourishing again.” Wow, there was a whole battle and I totally missed it? Oh well. I had some exploring to do, in this new city (to me).

There was the usual Maraquan Petpets, Maraquan Battledome Items, Maraquan Neohomes (*yawn*), just like in any other world. Then a store caught my eye, a little hut with a seashell top that read “kelp”. Honestly, the first time I came upon this, I thought, “Wow, a store selling kelp? I can get barrels of that for free in Underwater Fishing. I don’t know why anybody would bother paying money for that.” So, of course, I had to take a look inside to see if it was really true. But to my surprise, I was instead greeted by a waiter saying things like “connoisseur” and “madam”. You see, this caught me off guard because I’m not used to being called such things. I spend most of my time playing games such as Carnival of Terror and Turmac Roll, and games like that can leave one quite messy. So, you can see why those words being used towards me might come as a surprise. In fact, when I strolled into that place on that fateful day, I was covered in pies and smashed berries. I figured he was doing that to impress me and get me to come in. But what the Harris. I had all this free time on my hands, and figured it wouldn’t kill me to try it out.

And boy, was I glad I did. There are four different menus for you to look at, and you can choose one course from each of the menus. First, you pick an appetiser. There is a lot to choose from. When looking at the menu, I was stuck between an Ocean Delight Salad, for I love seafood and shellfish, or Maraquan Cream Broth, the spicy, creamy soup. But I went with the Broth, because I didn’t want to fill up on the salad and not save room for dessert.

Second was picking the main course. There were things like Stramberry Sausages and Braised Turkey Cutlet and Luxurious Vegetarian Star Pie (yes, they have things for vegetarians here too). At this time, I had to ask for another menu as I had drooled all over my first one to the point where it was ineligible. But, for my love of seafood and because it promised it was fresh from this morning, I ordered the Fish Special.

Then came my absolute favorite course. Dessert. The waiter brought out a whole plate showcasing the delicious soufflés and cakes and ice cream dishes. I could feel the calories piling on by just looking at them, but of course this didn’t stop me. A went with a simple Coral Cake, a favourite my mother used to make me as a child. Each bite brought on new sensations of wonder and awe only it could bring to me.

I finished with a nice cocktail, which was the cherry on top of a splendid evening well spent. I got a fine Aged Tchea Juice, and the age was perfect. The most delicious drink I’ve had in – well, ever (and if you’re underage, the drink was really gross. Don’t drink and swim). The check came out and I owed 66,100NP. And I could feel every Neopoint of it in my stomach. Though the cost was a bit high, it was well worth it. The food was absolutely delicious, and there was so much left over, it fed me for weeks.

Now I hope this article has taught you something. And it’s not that you need to spend thousands of Neopoints to have a good time, even if I think that’s true (just kidding). It’s that there is much to find in Neopia, even if you think you’ve uncovered every truth to every mystery here. I mean, there are even worlds that “don’t exist” (Jelly World) to find! All that is needed is an open mind and some adventurer in that soul of yours! Come on, I know most of you are tired of doing the same things over and over again, like playing Meerca Chase until you are seriously considering going out and getting a red Negg just so you can hurl it at something and unleash a bit of that anger. So get up out of that chair, put down the Neopian Times, and get exploring! In fact, I’m getting a little tired of writing this article when I could be out in Neopia discovering new things to do, such as I did today and I hope you will too. Remember, take a chance!

Did you like my article? Didn't? If so, don't be afraid to Neomail. I love hearing from you!

 
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