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Edibility – Malicious Or Delicious?


by rainbow2skittle

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a Thornberry Chia? Or maybe a Jelly Quiggle? Or, perhaps even a Biscuit Kiko? Then wonder no more! By the end of this article you will know the advantages and disadvantages of being edible like the back of your hand, paw, claw or flipper (whatever may apply to you). After doing extensive research in this field I can honestly say I am adequately equipped to dish the facts on edible pets (no pun intended). Hopefully, it will all assist you in your decision of whether or not you’re suited to the ‘edible lifestyle.’

First off, I rounded up all the different edible colors that are currently available. Even I was surprised at the huge range of delectable goodies *COUGH* I mean edible pet colors there is to offer. In alphabetical order, they are: Apple, Asparagus, Aubergine, Avocado, Biscuit, Blueberry, Carrot, Chocolate (drool), Chokato, Coconut, Custard, Durian, Garlic (yes, they’re edible), Gooseberry, Grape, Jelly, Lemon, Lime, Mallow, Orange, Pea, Peach, Pear, Pepper (arguable), Pineapple, Plum, Strawberry, Thornberry and finally, Tomato. If you haven’t noticed already, the fruit and vegetables are practically all Chias (a healthy bunch, aren’t they). Then there are the colors that have been the subject of much heated debate over whether they can be considered as edible; that is, Ice and... err, clay? That issue can be left for another time. Oh, and don’t forget those who accidentally misspell ‘Desert’ as ‘Dessert’ – don’t click your tongue; we’ve all done it. ;)

Now, let’s get down to business! What exactly are the top 3 pros and cons of being edible?

PRO #1:

Royal? Faerie? Plushie? Puh-lease. Move over now, edible pets are the new kings of cool! Edibility (yes, that is a word), is the newest, most stylish trend around – Neopians from all around the globe seem to be crowding the auction hall to bid on that elusive Biscuit Paint Brush or frantically saving up enough Neopoints to buy that expensive Thornberry Chia Pop. Those that don’t happen to have millions of neopoints lying around in their bank are going to extraordinary lengths to become edible, such as trying their luck with the lab ray – oblivious to the dangers (why doesn’t anyone read that disclaimer??) But in their eyes, becoming the new talk of the town is incomparable to toil and perhaps a bit of pain. Some less fortunate Neopets without access to the laboratory have even resorted to begging to the Fountain Faerie, but to no avail. “Sorry, it’s no use. Fountain Faerie quests are completely random,” the Fountain Faerie replies sympathetically, and with a wink she disappears.

CON #1:

Being an edible pet means that you’re extremely fragile. And by extremely, I mean extremely. A Mallow Grundo’s archenemy would obviously have to be the fireplace. No one wants a toasted marshmallow melting all over their newly decorated lounge! More to the point, the poor Grundo wouldn’t enjoy it too much either. Also, spare a thought for fruit Chias in their ripe season (Grapes, Tomatoes, Blueberries, Peaches and Plums, you guys should know what I’m talking about); they must be on high alert at all times to keep away from sharp objects/pets! Especially friends that are Thornberry, Durian and for safety measures, Pineapple. No matter how good their intentions are, accidents unfortunately do happen. Statistics don’t lie.

PRO #2:

Asparagus and Pea Chias. Enough said. ;)

CON #2:

It’s not exactly easy making friends with non-edible Neopets when you’re edible. Edible pets have a strong tendency to be edgy and uneasy around others due to the fact that edible pets are generally very fragile (as outlined in CON #1). Hence, as a fragile pet you may be more focused on getting through the day without being poked, prodded or bitten than spending time making new friends. You can also understand why non-edible pets aren’t inclined to approach edible pets at times - we all know what happened when that poor Lenny entered that Pea Chia’s personal space without permission. HIYAA! Yeah; not pretty. With that said, edible pets can’t be labeled as complete loners – oh no, quite the opposite actually. Sure, personal space is a must and there may be some barriers that need to be broken down, but edible pets are pets all the same. They can have great personalities – you just need to get past the anxiety factor.

PRO #3:

Have you noticed that the best Kacheek Seekers generally seem to be edible pets? That’s because they have the best disguises! Have YOU ever tried looking for a Jelly Quiggle in Jelly World? Impossible, because Jelly World doesn’t exist! Muahaha... *ahem* It’s not easy finding a Grape Chia in a giant basket of grapes (although you don’t see many of those around), and the list goes on.

Clueless seeker 1: Eh...was there always a green pea in that basket of fruit? Or am I hallucinating...

Clueless seeker 2: *shrugs* Probably. Let’s go look for her in the backyard!

Clueless seeker 1: Okay, let’s go!

Pea Chia: Tee hee hee – they are so hopeless.

In a lot of the settings, they’re even better than Camouflage pets at Kacheek Seek. Sure, a Camouflage pet would win if you were playing in an overgrown, leafy forest – but what about the more domestic settings? Edible pets are automatically disguised in these settings, giving them a huge advantage, because they look so much like real food! Then again, they aren’t the best Kacheek Seekers. That title would obviously go to invisible pets – no contest.

CON #3:

Let’s be honest – being edible makes you an easy target for pets like Grarrls and Skeiths. They could be known as the ‘enemies’ of edible pets with only one goal in mind. No, that wasn’t thunder, that was that Skeith’s stomach grumbling. So, if you’re edible and reading this now wondering why that Grarrl randomly wanted to become your friend today – I assure you, his intentions go far beyond simply gaining a friendly companion. If you still have trouble understanding what I mean, think of it this way: let’s say, you’re a small, rather plump, defenseless petpet that has strayed from the sights of your owner and Florg happens to notice you. And he’s hungry, very hungry. My only reasonable piece of advice for you in this situation is I hope you know how to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! You have been warned, my friends.

So there you have it - the top 3 pros and cons all spelled out in easy-to-understand language. By now, hopefully you’ve reached a final decision about whether you’re suited to living an edible lifestyle. If your decision is yes, hurray! Now the really fun part begins; head towards the Rainbow Pool and choose the color that best suits you. Congratulations on your new color – you look stunning. If your decision is no... well, boo hoo. You’re not much fun, are you? Just kidding, reading this much of the article when you never wanted to become edible in the first place is an achievement in itself.

Until next time, be sure to stay away from unfriendly-looking beasts notorious for their huge appetite! :)

 
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