The Guide to Grooming

BATHING: Okay, so that Neopet-stink is the main reason you're here, right? Well, you've got to know what supplies are good to use and which ones aren't. If your Neopet has scales, did you honestly think about buying Shampoo? Well, even if you didn't, Shampoo is a no-no for scales. The scales dry out and become more dirty than they are now! How about choosing some soap, instead? That's the way to go! Shampoo is usually your first choice if your Neopet has fur or hair. (Trust me, there's a BIG difference.) Soap is necessary to get rid of that stink. I think we're ready to leave now.

Now, for step one, wash your Neopet's hair/fur (skip this if your Neopet has none) with the Shampoo. I recommend Two in One Hair Care, a cheaper alternative to buying Shampoo and Conditioner separately. Yes, Conditioner is also necessary. Start at your Neopet's head, and work your way down. If your Neopet has hair (like the hair on your head), start scrubbing at the roots. Next, scrub your Neopet with the soap. Rose Scented Soap is my favorite, because of the pleasant scent it has, but feel free to use any kind you like. Voila! Dry your Neopet off, and your Neopet is sparkling clean. But wait! Now your Neopet's fur is all mangy and scruffy! Which brings me to my next section.

BRUSHING: (Ignore this whole section if your Neopet has scales.) Grab a hair brush and get brushing! If your Neopet has hair, start at the roots, and work your way down. I prefer Long Hair Brushes over Short ones when it comes to this, but feel free to use any kind you like. Brush the coat with long strokes, and really put your arm into it, but be careful of sensitive areas, like under the knees, if your Neopet has knees. In that case, brush very softly. As soon as your Neopet's coat/hair is smooth, shiny, and silky, you can move on to the next step! Yay!

DENTAL HYGIENE: Yuck! After a dinner of omelette, jelly, and orange chicken with neocola as a drink and smoothies for dessert, you take a look at your Neopet's teeth and almost get sick when you see them. Disgusting! Blech! Well, my friend, as unbelievable as it is, there IS a solution to this problem. Take out a toothbrush and some peppermint or cool mint toothpaste and get brushing! My pets have squeezy toothbrushes that they brush with after every meal, and because I made them do it, I got a spiffy avatar from the Tooth Faerie! Neat!

After brushing (you should brush about three minutes, by the way), it's time to floss! Take some floss and start flossing between your Neopet's top front teeth first, and slowly work your way back. Make sure to get every tooth! Remember, this is only if there is a piece of food that's very hard to get stuck in your Neopet's mouth. After that, throw away the small piece of floss and have them use mouth wash, but only if necessary! Allow your Neopet to check their teeth afterwards.

If your Neopet refuses to do all of this, promise them a reward afterwards, like getting them that Faerie Queen Doll or Sword of Skardsen (hee hee, just kidding about the Faerie Doll and Sword Part!), or doing something more realistic and taking a vacation. Maybe you could buy them that paint brush or toy they've always wanted. I can promise you that soon, they'll find pleasure in keeping their teeth clean (like no regular visits to the dentist! Yippee!)! And, don't be surprised if younger Neopets drag you into the bath room in your sleep and attempt to brush your teeth.

Have fun? Good, because we still have a little more time left before I have to go see a young Kau with a bad case of Shaky Flakys because her owner didn't bother to think about personal hygiene. Before I have to go, I have a few tips you and your Neopet can use on being clean and healthy.

Tip 1: Always brush your teeth after every meal. Period. You don't want to end up like the young Kau I mentioned above, do you?

Tip 2: Not many people know this, but you should always take a shower or bath after going swimming, so that the chlorine in the pool doesn't make you sick. Even if you went to the beach, you should still get cleaned up to get that sand off of your feet.

Tip 3: If you have nails, you should clip them to make sure they don't get dirty or something.

Tip 4: Brush your fur regularly so that you don't start shedding and get infested with Mootix. And, no I'm not saying this because I don't want thousands of people showing up at my clinic. Err, forget that last sentence, and I'll give you a cookie, okay? *sweats*

Final Tip: When applying makeup or something, don't over use it, so that you don't get a skin or lip condition. This happened to a friend of mine; he had to suck on lemons everyday for lunch for a whole year to get himself back to normal.

Well, it's time for me to go, my secretary just received a neomail about a JubJub with a bad case of the Shaky Flakys. Remember, take care of yourself by eating right, exercising, getting plenty of sleep, and keeping yourself clean! Until next time, folks! So long!

If you're reading this, then, ahem: YAY! THANK YOU, SANTA! WOOT!