The Giant Omelette's Protector: Sabre-X
THE GIANT OMELETTE: A MIRACLE FOR THE POOR, A MEAL FOR THE HUNGRY.
Hundreds of thousands of Neopians flock to grab a three-meal omelette each day to feed their Neopets. Neopia has loved the omelette to the extent that we have created stained-glass windows featuring omelettes, omelette shields, and even omelette stamps!
The egg that creates the omelette is rumored to have been laid by a humongous dinosaur, and will reappear when fully eaten. Ingredients, provided by the natives, are added to the omelette to give it extra flavors and textures. I was recently given the opportunity to interview the massive omelette’s protector -- Sabre-X.
Aisha_Gurl_Forever: Hello, Sabre-X, and thank you so much for taking time out of your omelette-guarding to come for this interview. I recently heard you were named Supervisor in Chief of the Giant Omelette.
Sabre-X: It is a great title to hold, with much responsibility for protecting the main food supply in Tyrannia. After all, invaders could come at any time, or just greedy Neopians wanting to take more omelette.
AGF: What if someone was to take more than one slice of that delicious omelette? What would you do to take action?
Sabre-X: I stop them. They cannot evade me.
AGF: The retired game, Omelette Defender, featured a Tyrannian Shoyru named Shuggu who used various tactics to defend the Omelette, including catapults, Negg launchers, and even sprays. Would you ever use such battle tactics to defend the Omelette?
Sabre-X: If a Neopian repeatedly came and attempted to steal omelette, then I might.
AGF: Since you are the Head of the Strategic War Division, would you think of it?
AGF: Err, moving on... we have never heard of Shuggu, the Tyrannian Shoyru. Why do you think you were not the star of this expired game?
Sabre-X: I did not want exposure.
AGF: Um, okay. In a recent poll, the Giant Omelette beat out the Fruit Machine and the Wheels, but the Tombola and Coltzan’s Shrine beat the Giant Omelette for the title of Neopians' favorite daily. However, the Omelette had over a hundred thousand votes! How does this motivate you with regard to the Omelette?
Sabre-X: If that means I have more than a hundred thousand omelette-crazed Neopians to deal with, then I have to protect it more.
AGF: Moving along, how long have you been protecting Tyrannia?
Sabre-X: If I won’t tell you my age, why would I tell you that?
AGF: Uh, yeah, um, well then, what is your favorite type of omelette?
Sabre-X: I particularly enjoy the Plain Omelette.
AGF: Could you explain why?
Sabre-X: The Plain Omelette is plain in every aspect, which allows the eater to best taste the fine egg texture.
AGF: Why not the Tomato Omelette? Or the Cheese and Onion Omelette?
Sabre-X: The tomatoes have been baking for days. The cheese is rotten and the onion is mushy.
AGF: Oh, um, okay… have you ever added any ingredients to the Omelette?
Sabre-X: My job is to protect the Omelette, not to contribute to it.
AGF: Do you like your job?
Sabre-X: Of course I like my job! Why else would I be doing it? I get to protect the Omelette, one of Neopia’s greatest foods!
AGF: What kind of weapons and defense items do you use to protect the Omelette?
Sabre-X: I use this very simple, very tasty Omelette Shield, and I have also fashioned the very first Omelette Sword. It’s not that great, considering it splits in half when I attack someone with it…
AGF: In the Neopedia, it says you are a Prehistoric Lupe--
Sabre-X: I find that highly offensive. I am not as old as you think I am!
AGF: Are you as old as, say, the Techo Master on Mystery Island?
Sabre-X: I-I… am not sure of his age. But with a beard of that quality, I’d have to say I’m younger.
AGF: Have you ever seen the dinosaur that laid the giant egg that creates the Omelette?
Sabre-X: No, but I can assure you that she was larger than the Grarrl from Grarrl Keno. Possibly four, maybe five times larger than that.
AGF: What are some of the benefits of protecting the Omelette?
Sabre-X: I get to smell the Omelette, that lovely, eggy smell, with all the other ingredients roasting in it. The ingredients smell wonderful, especially the sausage, but it does get rather disgusting when you see the tomatoes sagging into the Rotten Omelettes.
AGF: Have you ever eaten a Rotten Omelette?
Sabre-X: Yes, when I was very young, I made the mistake of eating a Rotten Omelette. I thought it was merely a Cheese Omelette (I was quite fond of those), but alas, I was wrong, very wrong. I caught a bad case of Ugga Ugga, and those around me could barely understand what I was saying... even the shopkeeper over at Tyrannian Furniture!
AGF: It seems as though a large egg cracks in the middle of the plateau to create the Omelette. Have you ever gotten a piece of eggshell in your omelette?
Sabre-X: Surprisingly, and scarily, no. But I have picked up pieces of the eggshell. I made a necklace out of them when I was younger. I thought that they gave me magical powers, but then I went to the Battledome -- that wasn’t a very good experience…
AGF: What type of omelette was your first slice? Can you remember it at all?
Sabre-X: Ah, I have not tasted that slice of omelette in years. It was the Broccoli and Bacon Omelette. The broccoli then was fresh, the bacon was sizzling, and the egg flavor of the omelette itself was amazing. What was your first omelette?
AGF: Er, I didn’t eat it, my Aisha did, but it was the Green Pepper Omelette…
Sabre-X: And wasn’t it a great omelette? A great slice?
AGF: Well, I think my Aisha enjoyed it, I mean, she ate it all--
Sabre-X: The Omelette of Tyrannia must be shared with every Neopian! The warm, eggy flavor! The deliciousness of a fresh, frying omelette on the Plateau, lying next to the rock concerts! The omelettes, they must be eaten by all! They must be shared, but not with greed! Every Neopian should have a bite of this wondrous, magnifi-
AGF: Well, I guess that wraps up our interview! Thanks again, Sabre-X. Tune in next time for interviews with more Notable Neopians!
Sabre-X: Enjoy the omelette before it’s gone….