Neopia's Fill-in-the-blank News Source Circulation: 176,283,343 Issue: 343 | 16th day of Hunting, Y10
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Why the Pound was Postponed


by hidden_cloak

--------

In the News, April 26 and 27:

Pound Update - *Holds up hand to quiet everyone* We will put the pound back up on the site on Monday.

We are all familiar with this announcement. This small statement raised pulses, quickened breaths, flushed cheeks, and lifted hearts all around Neopia over the weekend. Even Cybunny Day barely quenched the excitement flooding the poor Help Chat, which suffered an overload of pound boards, pushing all pleas for actual help to the bottom of the page almost immediately after they had been created. A huge crowd formed in front of the pound, consisting of millions of eager owners waiting for the doors to swing open. Many brought sleeping bags and enough food to last them a week.

Monday came. Monday went. Boards and more boards ranted and raged at TNT for keeping their beloved pound shut. And then...

SORRY! *hides* We want to apologize for not being able to launch the pound today. We really did think we would be able to, but we will be launching it tomorrow after we make sure it won't blow up the site. (You may have noticed some site trouble earlier, which was due to the pound.) :-( Trust us, we want the pound back as much as you do.

TNT was true to their word. The pound successfully opened the day after, with a spiffy new design! Neopians happily settled down and browsed the pound contentedly, but the question still remained in everyone’s mind: Why was the pound’s opening REALLY postponed? Here the top 25 theories:

1. Of course, there’s always the actual reason that TNT gave us (they didn’t want the site to blow up), but that’s so... BORING! On with the more likely answers.

2. When Dr. Death looked out of the pound window and saw the mob of crazed Neopians waiting outside, he passed out on the floor. His assistant the pink Uni managed to revive him, but he immediately fell into a state of paranoid shock and needed a day in bed to recover.

3. When Dr. Death looked out of the pound window and saw the mob of crazed Neopians waiting outside carrying green Uni morphing potions, he fled the building screaming “I DON’T WANT TO BE A GREEN UNI!” He was found later huddled in a corner of the Soup Kitchen with a bowl of dung soup, talking to himself.

4. The pets didn’t want to be green Unis either (except for the actual green Unis in there), so they absolutely REFUSED to let the pound open until the GUPPERS went away.

5. The pink Uni in charge of the adoption center absolutely REFUSED to come back from her year-long vacation in Mystery Island.

6. The pink Uni actually DID come back in time, but started teaching all the pounded pets (and Dr. Death) how to hula, and they completely forgot that they were supposed to open the pound.

7. The pink Uni had just gotten her hooves painted and absolutely REFUSED to open the pound until her nail polish dried.

8. The pink Uni was having a bad mane day, and absolutely REFUSED to show her face in public.

9. The pink Uni was out all day trying to gather support for the less popular and more expensive “Pink Uni Project”. The PUPPERS’ slogan: “Because EVERYBODY wants to be a pink Uni!”

10. The pound employees accidentally locked themselves out of the building.

11. Well, technically, the pound WAS open... Dr. Death just forgot switch the “We’re closed” sign to the “We’re open” sign.

12. The pound officials couldn’t find a neopet to be in charge of the transfer section of the pound in time (they considered the Yurble Janitor, but figured that wouldn’t be the best idea).

13. They actually DID find a neopet to guard the middle door, and yes, it WAS the head-bobbing robot Hissi, but it overheated / ran out of batteries / fell in a lake / turned out to be one of Sloth’s mind control machines, so they had to send it to a repair shop.

14. The mysterious all-knowing spirit of the Help Chat was enraged that its board was being clogged with stupid, useless spam-boards that were not helpful at all, so it TOOK ITS REVENGE.

15. Bug-Eyed McGee, everyone’s favorite NeoBuddy, was enraged that nobody had appreciated the helpful advice he had given to them, so he TOOK HIS REVENGE.

16. The Cybunnies were enraged that on THEIR special day, half the boards were about the pound rather than the special limited edition pets being released, so they TOOK THEIR REVENGE.

17. TNT had been online all 24 hours on April 27 waiting for the next group of Cybunnies to be released. As a result, they were so tired the following day that they promptly fell asleep slumped over their computers and slept through the entire Monday.

18. Someone spilled sleeping potions in Adam’s borovan, Dragona’s sock smoothie, and everybody else’s coffee.

19. Someone spilled green Uni potions in Adam’s borovan, Dragona’s sock smoothie, and everybody else’s coffee.

20. A few owners had been pleasantly minding their own business and didn’t care about the pound at all, as they already had all the pets they needed, painted and perfect. They were horrified that, once again, they were being bombarded with neomails asking for their pets. In dismay, they got together and decided there was only one thing to be done: keep the pound closed, and make it STAY that way!

21. Someone adopted the pink Uni, transferred the robot Hissi, and abandoned Dr. Death (ouch).

22. The whole of TNT got a severe stomach-ache from all the cookies they was being force-fed, plus a severe concussion from all the rocks that were being thrown at them (bigger ouch).

23. TNT exploded, literally (biggest ouch).

24. OBVIOSULY the whole postponement of the pound’s opening was just another cruel April Fools joke! TNT never intended for the pound to open on Monday- it was Tuesday all along! Didn’t anybody realized that Monday was April 28, April Fools Day? What? What do you mean, it’s not April Fools Day? It’s April FIRST? Whoops. My bad. *muttering* Why doesn’t anybody TELL me these things?

25. The meepits did it.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Rebel's Heart: Part One
She held her ear against the wall, hoping to hear the voices that she knew were there. "I bring news from the commander..."

by ewagon

---------

Darigan Citadel For the Cup!
I would like to inform you all that there is only one choice for your Altador Cup team. This ideal candidate is none other than the Darigan Citadel.

by sweettartlucy

---------

Randomness
Oh dear.

by firestarrz

---------

The Curious Incident of the Statue in the Night-time: Part Three
"Excuse me, I might be able to help you," a voice said from behind Shan. The Mynci turned to see a green Techo in adventurer's garb standing on the pier, attempting to look dashing.

by herdygerdy



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.