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I Found You


by micrody

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Dear Miguel,

     While I was shopping this morning, I remembered what you said in your last letter, about how lost you felt. I don’t know if you’ve read my response yet—I sent it last Sunday; I hope it hasn’t gotten lost in the mail—and I just wanted to tell you that I felt the same way. In a way, you could say, I found you in me (not literally, of course—you’re a blue Mynci while I’m a yellow Usul—but in a more metaphorical way, if you can grasp what I’m trying to say).

     You see, I was midway between produce and poultry when I realised that I am nowhere in life. The cabbage in my hand slipped to the floor, and it rolled around a bit before I finally bent down to retrieve it. I saw, in that one moment, just how empty my life truly is. I wake each morning for breakfast, then I go about my day reading the Neopian Times and lettering fanmail to the authors if I truly like a piece. Reading their thank yous—if they even come—is a great and joyous pleasure, but I’ve grown accustomed to their kind words. And as I send more letters, I find my praise is more critical, and even when I genuinely feel in love with a piece, my words of expression seem generic and trite. I’m thankful only that the authors can only read the letters I send to them; otherwise, I fear they would think that I didn’t put as much heart into these letters as I truly do.

     But I’ve rambled on long enough, Miguel. I hope you’re doing all right, and I look forward to your next letter.

     Write soon.

     Stephanie

     * * *

     Dear Miguel,

     I’ve been reading through our correspondences as I await your (I hope forthcoming) letter. I can’t believe how much we’ve changed in the nearly two years we’ve been writing each other. Our skills for composition have most certainly improved (almost immeasurably since our earliest letters, I assure you) and our affinity for depth has certainly broadened as well.

     Why, just this past month, you were practically writing sonatas about how lonely you felt. I’m really glad I have you as a friend, or else I feel I would be as lonely as you were. I do hope you consider me as great a friend as I consider you. I just want you to know, Miguel, that I’m always here if you need me. Just drop me a line, and I’ll snatch it right up like a Titanic Giant Squid in the underwater fishing hole. I recall you once told me you were fishing for one of those, but you haven’t told me yet if your endeavor has been successful or not. I truly hope it has been.

     Wishing you the best.

     Stephanie

     * * *

     Hi Stephanie

     I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I can get so busy sometimes, I really don’t know what gets into me. One moment I’m on top of everything, and the next I’m flailing to stay afloat.

     I really don’t know what else to say. You’re a great friend, and I feel touched you think so highly of me. I wish I could return the favor more frequently, but I’ve fallen so far behind in everything, I don’t have much time for much anything these days. I just hope you understand, no matter how long it takes for me to read your letters, I’m still here, and I still consider you my friend. I just hope you still consider me yours.

     Miguel

     * * *

     Stephanie

     I just got your other letter, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to it any sooner. The postman told me it had fallen off the sorting rack and had blown under a table. Apparently, it had gotten swept up while they were cleaning recently, so they brought it with today’s mail. Life’s funny like that, isn’t it?

     Anyways, I know how you feel. But... well, I’ve kinda given up on the future. I mean, well, planning for it, at least. The world changes every day. One moment can change a lifetime, and only seconds can change the course of history forever. Just the other day, I was riding across downtown on my way home from the Food Shop in one of those Whinny-drawn carriages when the harness broke away and I went careening across the road. I spun around one or twice before I finally came to a stop next a thorn bush nearby. The Whinny-driver rushed over and apologised profusely; and although I was completely unharmed, he didn’t even charge me for the trip.

     What’s funny though is that, while I was spiraling to my doom, I never saw my life flash before my eyes like other people say happens. I didn’t even think of any of my responsibilities, not my job at the Collectible Card Shop, not my late rent or overdue course books. I just saw the open road ahead of me and hoped it wasn’t the end. It made me realise how meaningless my life is, how little I get out of everything I do. But I just can’t stop and find a new path to follow, can I? I mean, I need the little money I get from my job, and I can be imprisoned—or worse—if I don’t pay my rent.

     I just don’t know what else to do sometimes. I don’t want to live like this forever, but I have to get through all of this before I can move onto greater things in my life, don’t I? The future’s a daunting place, Stephanie, and almost every day I wish I could just return to the past.

     Always,

     Miguel

     * * *

     Dear Miguel,

     My postman was ill the past couple of days, so when he came around this afternoon, he brought along with him both of your letters. I guess it’s my turn to apologise for taking so long to respond, isn’t it?

     Well, regardless, I’m just glad you’re alright. An accident like that must have been quite terrifying, and I can understand how it could make you feel that way. I wish there were something I could do to assist you, but I fear I feel the same way. I’m supposed to be starting university this spring, but I have no idea what I’m even going to study, let alone where I’m going to do it. I’ve not yet applied anywhere, even though I figure I’ll attend Faerieland State. It’s an accredited school, and I should be able to get a scholarship for at least my first few semesters, so I’m hoping they’ll have programs to help me later on when I decide upon my major. But, like you said, the world is constantly changing, and I fear what I choose today will get me nowhere tomorrow.

     I’ll keep you in my thoughts, you just keep me apprised.

     Stephanie

     * * *

     Stephanie

     I’m writing this in an alley on my last piece of paper, so I might not be able to write you again for a while. On Tuesday I called in sick to work, and when I went back yesterday, I got fired. I was only out a day, but the manager’s had it in for me since the start. I just wish now I’d quite sooner and found a better job. Perhaps then I’d still have a place to live.

     Yep, Stephanie, you read that right. I got evicted, last night, no less. My landlord came to me with a court order to seize my belongings as payment; I was able to fill a suitcase with some clothes and toiletries, but he’s got everything else. He gave me a date to appeal, but I don’t have the money to fight it, so I might as well just not show up and let him have it all. It’s his loss, really. If he’d waited, I’d have been able to pay him back in full, I just know I would’ve been able to do it, but now all he’ll get is a bunch of used furniture, some waterlogged books, and a bunch of left shoes. I really wish I’d fished up a bag of Neopoints one of these days. No Titanic Giant Squid, either.

     I’m thinking I’ll take a walk to Meridell and see if I can find a job there at a farm or something. Might take a few days to get there, but I hear they’ve got good deals for new farmers, and if I don’t fit for anything, I’m sure there’s more than a few people who could use another farm hand.

     Anyways, I’ve got your address, and I’ll get you mine as soon as I have one.

     Take care,

     Miguel

     * * *

     Dear Miguel,

     I hope this letter finds its way to you. I’ve been arguing with myself ever since I read your letter, deciding if I should mail you or not, but I simply cannot ignore this.

     Miguel, I want you to know how much I care for you. You’re an incredible friend, one I’d die not to lose, and hearing how bad things have gotten for you tears my heart in two. I’ve got an open bed in the guestroom, and I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind having you spend some time with us until you can get back on your feet. I’m sure the Employment Agency can help you find another job, and maybe you could even join me in university when I start attending next month. I could think of nothing better than being able to see you every day and going to classes together with you, too. I hope this is an option you’ll consider, and don’t worry about the fare for getting up here. The Eyrie cabs aren’t very expensive, and if you don’t have the funds for one right now, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind arranging the payment to help a friend.

     I can’t wait to hear from you again, Miguel. Please, take care of yourself. I’d hate to lose you.

     Always,

     Stephanie

     * * *

     Miguel,

     It has been two weeks since I mailed you last. I’m really starting to worry now and I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night. Please, Miguel, please come back.

     Stephanie

     * * *

     Dear Miguel,

     I found you yesterday. I was walking to the cafeteria after my first class had ended at Faerieland State and I saw a lonely blue Mynci sitting on a bench. His tail hung lowly by his side, his hands were clasped tightly in his lap, and his head drooped towards the ground. He reminded me so much of you, of all the things you could be going through right now, that I walked up to him and passed him a few Neopoints; he seemed to smile at this and for a moment I truly had hoped he was you. I asked him his name, praying to Fyora that my ears would hear yours, but his name was Edward and my heart shattered as I stood before him. He thanked me for my kindness and then walked on his way, and in that one instant, as I watched him leave, he reminded me of you and I felt even more alone than I ever have before.

     Please, Miguel, tell me that you’re alright. Tell me you just got lost getting to Meridell, but you’ve gotten a job now and everything’s going to be alright. Tell me you have your own farm already and you’ve just been too busy to send me a letter. Please, Miguel, tell me anything.

     Just don’t tell me this is the end.

     Stephanie

 
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