10 Reasons Why Your Pet Should Be Mutant
When everybody decides that they want a paintbrush, what colors do they keep in mind? Baby, Faerie, Maraquan, Halloween, Christmas, Pirate, Rainbow, Darigan... the list goes on and on. But one name is very rarely on that list: Mutant.
Why are Mutant pets so avoided and feared? I am still trying to find out. These pets are exactly the same as any Faerie pet except for looks. They might seem gruesome and evil, but some of the kindest pets I’ve met were---yes, Mutant.
Many owners would rather starve their pets than have them turned Mutant. I’m sure you would be a little creeped out by your pet’s extra heads for a few weeks, but hey! Acquired taste, if I say so myself. I wouldn’t mind my own little Shoyru painted Mutant! In fact, the Mutant Shoyru looks sort of cute...
For years I’ve been trying to explain to the world that Mutant pets are not to be feared. They should be loved equally among Neopia. Not many people have listened to me. The little guys need to be defended!!! So I am going to give you 10 good reasons why you should get a Mutant Neopet.
Presenting... 10 Reasons Why Your Pet Should Be Mutant!!!
1. YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO WAIT IN ANY LONG LINES EVER AGAIN.
Are you sick of waiting in that long, long line stretching all around Neopia just to make a quick deposit at the bank? Well, with your little Mutant pal, the Neopets will scatter like Mootix during a Cooty attack. Not to be rude to Mutants, but... they are sort of frightening. No one wants to be around a Mutant for long, so... watch the line disintegrate before your eyes!
2. YOUR PET WON’T BE SO PICKY AROUND FOOD.
All owners know what it’s like to pay 1000 NP for some dinner. Well, remember the 50 NP Octornapie you saw but didn’t buy? Well, you’ll never have to be so careful around food decisions anymore! Don’t worry about feeding that suspicious-looking Sophie’s Stew to your Mutant pet. In fact, they might even protest against that Faerie Bubble you bought and cheer when you serve the Jellied Eyeballs.
3. DON’T WORRY ABOUT DRESSING UP YOUR PET.
My pets always scream and struggle when I try to comb their fur and give them a washing up. But if you have a Mutant pet, forget about it! Even if they don’t wash up, what’s it going to do? A little less hygienic, yes, but it won’t change your pet’s look. What’s a little dirt going to do to all the matted fur and scars and fangs? NOTHING! It will just blend in. In fact, they might even look MORE Mutant!
4. YOUR PETS DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF ANYTHING!
Has your pet ever come come from Neoschool, crying because that mean old bully teased them? Mutant pets have nothing to fear. The other Neopets are the ones to look out. Your pet will never be scared again! Next thing you know, that bully’s going to run home crying, just because your pet smiled their gleaming fangs at him in a friendly, creepy manner.
5. MUTANT PETS MAY SHOCK THE SHOPKEEPER! THAT’S A GOOD THING!
Make sure you send your pet on a lot of errands for you. Once I went to the Fruits of Brightvale store to buy some tasty snacks for my pets. The person in front of me had a Mutant JubJub. The JubJub politely asked for a Skeem, but instead of offering to haggle with him, the poor green Acara screamed and dropped the Skeem right into the JubJub’s hands in terror. (Well, they don’t really have hands, but just pretend they do.) Then the JubJub happily skipped off. Same for your pet: The shopkeepers will be so scared they’ll give you it for almost free!
6. THE HAUNTED WOODS WON’T SEEM SO CREEPY.
Most pets are downright creeped out by the Haunted Woods. All those freaky noises, broken-down castles, ghosts... yikes!!! But your pet will feel right at home in the Haunted Woods. They will blend in there. Never again will they scream and scream when you have to do an errand at the Haunted Woods. In fact, they may even do some quests for the Brain Tree or Esophagor and earn some rare items!
7. MUTANT PETS ARE EXCELLENT GUARDS.
A shadow creeps from the bushes. Slowly, slowly, it lurks forwards, in the darkness. Unseen, it steps carefully, over the dead leaves and twigs, until... “AAAHHH!!!” The Shadow Usul screams at the monster she sees. It’s... so ugly! Even the slick and sly Shadow Usul dashes for cover. The Mutant Tuskaninny suddenly wakes up. “Huh?” he mumbles to no one in particular.
8. LOOK AT THE MUTANTS IN A NEW LIGHT... DON’T THEY SEEM *ahem* COOL?
Hm... looking at that Mutant Aisha, you might step back, feeling a little woozy. Yellow fangs, three mouths, and slimy pink skin flaps oozing out of its back. Well, look at it again! Doesn’t it seem *ahem* COOL to you? I mean, how many pets can eat a burger, a Kyrii Pop, and a Rainbow Doughnut at the same time? You might be sickened by the Mutants, but when you look at them from a different view, they might seem cooler than even Maraquan pets!
9. MUTANTS ARE VERY RARE.
Since many avoid Mutants and Transmogrification Potiones, finding a Mutant pet is pretty rare. Why not have a rare pet? Other painted pets may seem rarer, but Mutant pets are WAYYY rarer. You might think, “Hey! Pirate Paintbrushes are real hard to find! So I bet they’re rare!” NO is the answer. So many owners are trying to get the Pirate Paintbrush that it is a miracle to come across one. Once they all get their paws on that Pirate Paintbush, they’ll be pirates galore and no Mutants in sight. Come on... Mutants are RARE!!!
10. SAVE A MUTANT’S LIFE!
Many excited owners buy Transmogrification Potiones and eagerly feed them to their pet to find out that poor Spot has turned into a monster! The pet is quickly abandoned. Many abandoned Neopets stuck in the pound are Mutant. Why not help a poor pet become whole again by adopting him? Hundreds of Neopians may happen to glance at him, but they’ll turn him down because of his looks. You’re his only chance!
So now you see why instead of buying that 600,000 NP Baby Paintbrush you spotted in the Hidden Tower, (OOPS! I mean, what Hidden Tower? There’s no Hidden Tower... what’s that anyway?) go buy the potion of your dreams... the Transmogrification Potion!!!
If this gets in, then I will behave very calmly. YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOO!!! *Jumps on you with joy*
Mutant Pets ROCK! (Although I don't have any...)