Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 164,193,775 Issue: 173 | 14th day of Sleeping, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Melody's Guide to Music : The News and Charts

by o_ky_o


TYRANNIA - Hello there folks, I'm Melody your narrator through this new article. I'm a little nervous because this is a debut for me, so you'll have to forgive me if I stutter! Basically; this month in music, about bands (what they're up to), with the singles, albums and hopefuls charts below!

This week CATFB release their seventh album titled Retro Groove, but battling them for top place in the album charts are Sticks N Stones with their Greatest Hits release.

I was given a preview of Retro Groove, and CATFB have done it again, with a whopping twelve funky tracks filled with that old-time soul, and track nine, Spirals, was in fact a collaboration with their tribute band, Groovy Afro Fungus Balls.

"Ish was uber great working wish dem," says Toothless Joe (drummer). "Da Fungush Ballsh are really friendly."

Blue Kacheek Group have fallen behind the past months, as rumors have spread about their splitting up.

K-Cheek (middle singer), told NMG – Neopian Music Guide- “Me and the gang have no intention of splitting up. We're like a family, and families do have arguments, but most get over it. We've resolved our issues and should be continuing making music soon.”

Unfortunately Yes Boy Ice Cream have admitted to considering such a move after all their years in the music industry.

"It doesn't attract us as much...maybe not the Neopoint-making side of it, y'know, profits and all that. Me and the boys are just interested in the music."

It also seems there is some rivalry between them and equally popular pop band M*YNCI. Although the diva-like band-members of this notoriously trouble-making band refused to make any comment. Red out of Yes Boy Ice Cream had a lot to say: "In life, there are always people who you don't like. Not everyone is compatible with you, and it's obvious that M*YNCI aren't our sort of pets, plus, we've bumped into them a few times, and they aren't that friendly."

Both bands share a common failure though: neither, managed to reach the top ten singles chart, which was mostly dominated by Twisted Roses.

So while BKG have put their songs on hold and Yes Boy Ice Cream are obviously preoccupied, Jazzmosis have been speeding ahead.

In fact, this long-time band has been shooting up the charts since the holiday season began! Most people have been buying the new Jazzmosis Seasonal Album, and their Christmas related merchandise. However, their incredible rise should be stunted by heavy metal band Twisted Roses.

These angsty-femmes have been going frenzied whipping out more singles than any other band this year! The most popular include Welcome to Tyrannia, Drowning, Maraqua Sinks, Jhudora Jhudora and Renegade.

Their contribution to the newest albums this month is the acclaimed Thorns, containing an exclusive single from Twisted Roses' tribute band Dark Violets. The song however, wasn't given very good recommendation by NMG and got itself a meager three stars. Overall the album was “alright, a safe bet for fans, but people new to this band should avoid this album.”

Before I give you the charts here are my personal hot-picks for this month:

Lobster Pie by 2 Gallon Hatz:

This song is a good old country yarn about a Kacheek trying to "find some o' dem rhymes to pass the time"- it bears echoes of past classics from 2GH and has an impressive banjo solo near the end. Definitely a funny song, to cheer you up this Christmas!

Far Away Dreams by The Hikalakas

"Wistful days/By the bamboo cane/Looking across the beach"- these lyrics burst with summer laziness, not only is it a very chilled out song that actually has WORDS but I recommend it for those feeling a little cold this winter, because it's bound to warm you up.

And finally,

His Sleigh by Jazzmosis

Beautiful rhythms...set to become a Xmas traditional. Handily enough it's on their Seasonal album, possibly the best track out of the amazing twenty-five. His Sleigh is the rounding up of their songs, put into a Christmas theme. A dash of "Shadey Blues" here, a light dusting of "We are all Brothers" there.

Okay, the part you've all been waiting for! The charts themselves!

Good luck everybody.

SINGLES (12-November to 12-December)

10 – Funky Soul by CATFB

9 – Round the Mountain by 2 Gallon Hatz

8 – Stones by Wock Til You Drop

7 – Prelude to the Rain by National Philharmonics

6 – Rocker by Moehawk

5 – Dance Dance by BKG

4 – Renegade by Twisted Roses

3 – Can't Stop Me by Sticks N Stones

2 – Island Kiss by The Hikalakas

And how beat the upbeat, tropical notes of newcomers The Hikalakas from Mystery Island? You'll have to wait and found out! Now we move on to the next chart...

ALBUMS (12-November to 12-December)

10 – Transitional Melody (Hey- that's my name!) by National Philharmonics

9 – Whack A Sloth by Moehawk

8 – Sunset Beach by The Hikalakas

7 – Yankee Doodle-Dee by 2 Gallon Hatz

6 – Robot by BKG

5 – Groove Machine by CATFB

4 – Hard Rocks by Wock Til You Drop

3 – Jazzmosis Seasonal Album by Jazzmosis

2 – Greatest Hits by Sticks N Stones

Alas, you'll have to hold your Unis! There's still one more chart to go, but there's only five entries in this one so you won't have too much of a wait till this month's number ones are revealed.


5 – Shady Shades (tribute to Jazzmosis)

4 – Groovy Afro Fungus Balls (tribute CATFB)

3 – Local Myncis (tribute Yes Boy Ice Cream)

2 – Bottled Sand (tribute The Hikalakas)

1 – Dark Violets (tribute to Twisted Roses)

Okay folks I hope I've kept you in suspense (and I hope you're not sleeping with your head on the table, drooling on your keyboard!ZzzzzzZZzzzz) because now this month's

NUMBER ONE SINGLE is....Santa Claus' Theme by National Philharmonics, well done guys!

And now, one of the most important charts, whoever wins this could well be on their way to a place in the musical hall of fame. Winners of last month's album chart, give it up for GRÜNDO and their album Stellar Revolution!

Well, that's it and I hope you've had a fun time. Good luck tribute bands, especially the lucky Dark Violets who got to meet their heroes last weekend at a Jazzmosis party and I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Love ya,


Ps- Hey guys, if you want to chat feel free to Neomail my owner, any suggestions/comments are happily accepted. No Neofriend requests though and no l337 ^___^; Bye!!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Throw Somewhere Else
Mind your toys...

by shady_lanem


The Adventures Of A Coconut
Hmm... How about Faerieland?!?! o.O

by bobthemonkey18


Out of Time
Rose had to stay in the hospital while Kuarii had to live at home alone. Every day when he came home, he returned to the lonely darkness. No longer was there a greeting or a hug to make him feel welcome at home...

by mexicanpuppyof_fire


Jhudora: A Fake?
I've tried a few of her errands myself, however, and failed a few, and neither I nor my Neopets seem to have suffered any serious consequences...

by schefflera

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.