Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 176,435,075 Issue: 336 | 28th day of Running, Y10
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Neoschool: No Need for Know-It-Alls!


by silent_snow

--------

It’s the first day of Neoschool, and you, a lowly, run-of-the-mill Neopet, are about to be shoved straight into a new world of popularity, education, and Yurble Janitors. I bet you’re excited! But perhaps you’re wondering if these new Neoschools should be a source of intimidation and a cause of fear instead of a fountain of friendship and knowledge. Don’t worry! There are plenty of other Neopets out there looking for new best buddies, just like you, and you should be accepted into a circle of friends in no time flat. Unless, of course, you happen to be the dreaded, the awful, the oft-glared-upon-from-afar...

KNOW-IT-ALL.

Yeah, that’s right. You know they exist! You’ve seen Sarah, that stuck-up Zafara who runs the Help Desk, right? And what about AAA, that Blumaroo who brags to the point of physical pain? Let’s not forget Lisha, that brainy little kid who tries to hog Jeran all to herself, to the wrath of many a fangirl.

So, I’m sure you’re now asking yourself, ‘how will I ever keep myself from seeming to be a know-it-all?’ A very good question indeed! However, not all of you readers out there need to worry about being seen as a know-it-all in Neoschool. So, before continuing to read this article, please ask yourself these questions.

Question One: Have I ever read a book because I wanted to, not because my owner forced me to or because I wanted to see a puff of purple smoke?

Question Two: Have I ever found that the Brain Tree’s constant quest for information makes quite a lot of sense, since information is always desirable to obtain?

Question Five: Do I only train in agility, so I can be the first person to raise my paw in the event of a question?

Now, what were your answers to those three questions? Well, actually, it doesn’t matter. The real question is: did you notice that the third question was accidentally labeled Question Five instead of Question Three?

If you did notice, and you also scouted out all of your acquaintances so you could proudly point out the mistake, you’re definitely an unbearable know-it-all! I don’t know if there’s any way you can possibly save yourself from being humiliated from your classmates! But read on, and maybe you can secure yourself some Neoschool friends for at least a day or two.

If you noticed, but kept it to yourself, you may, in the future, become a know-it-all! Quick! Read the rest of this article before it’s too late!

If you didn’t notice, hurry up and ask your owner to put you in Neoschool ASAP. You obviously can’t count. But wait! There’s still the chance that you may be an ignorant know-it-all! That’s the worst kind! You better read the rest of this article, just in case.

So, assuming you didn’t notice that you’re a know-it-all no matter what, I’m sure you’re now wondering how to hide your true nature from others. Never fear! With just a little time and a lot of effort, you’ll be transformed from the Neoschool Know-It-All to Mr. Neo-Popularity! Or at least you won’t get picked on. Hopefully. All you need to do is keep the following key points in mind.

Neoschool Endeavors Reaping Disdain (which we’ll shorten to NERD) #1: Sharing Means You’re Caring!

I’m sure you’ve heard the following comments from your owner many times in the past. Sharing is good! Sharing brings friendship and happiness! Share those plushies with your siblings and stop whining! Don’t share that paintbrush with the Money Tree- it cost me hundreds of thousands of Neopoints!

...seems kind of hypocritical now, doesn’t it?

Anyway, sharing applies to Neoschool as well. Let’s look at a hypothetical situation. Let’s say you’re in Mrs. Green’s history class, and she just asked the class what the primary food source for ancient Tyrannians was. What do you do? Do you shout out the answer? Do you raise your fin? Do you slump down in your desk, trying not to look like an ignorant Babaa?

Well, the first and third options should already be out. Never call out the answer! It’s rude, and hooves were made for a reason. Also, you should study and stuff. Early Tyrannian food sources are obviously important when you’re going for a career in the stock market. As for the second option, take it in moderation. Raising your hand occasionally is good, as it shows that you want to learn and are paying attention. Raising your hand for every sentence the teacher says that half-sounds like a question is just showing off, and is a tell-tale sign of the know-it-all.

NERD #2: Have a Passion for Fashion!

Customization has taken Neopia by storm, and many a Neopet now sports fancy clothes and sparkling backgrounds. This is very good, and will probably get you more attention on the first day of Neoschool, and maybe a few potential friends. But, above all, beware the following combination of items!

School Girl Hat, Shirt, Jumper, Skirt, and Shoes – These clothes are cute and scholarly, though I would stay away if you happen to be male. They also scream the statement ‘I LOVE NEOSCHOOL!’, so make sure to be careful with how your statement is taken.

Green Skeith Pencil Case – Is it adorable and useful? Yes. Does it need to be at your side all the time? No.

Maths Background or Classroom Background – Though they are undoubtedly great for the scholarly pet, these backgrounds can give of the wrong impression when combined with a snobby attitude.

Okay, yes, the whole assembly is cute on the first day. But when you wear it again the next day... and the next... and the next? You don’t only look like a know-it-all, you also look like a teacher’s pet. And I don’t mean the kind where the teacher is your owner. The horror! So vary your wardrobe a little; try out those clothes your owner got for cheap. It’ll show that you aren’t a one-dimensional-personality pet.

NERD #3: Don’t Compromise on your Supplies!

If you’re going to Neoschool, you’ll obviously need school supplies. Luckily, the shop conveniently named School Supplies has everything you could possibly need! But with so many options, what could the best choice be? There are many lovely sets of supplies to pick, like the Neopian Times set, or the Meowclops set, or maybe the Kayla set. You can show off your personality with your supplies! However, make sure not to get the most expensive type of every supply possible (Pawkeet Notebook, anyone?), then brag about it to everyone you meet. That’s a definite turn-off.

Also, school supplies are great and all, but take a close look at the first word. SCHOOL. That’s right, these supplies are meant for Neoschool! Therefore, there’s no reason to carry them around everywhere, with the possible exception of backpacks, when you aren’t in school. You’re not being cool by showing random strangers your Pencil of the Space Faerie, you’re being a know-it-all!

NERD #4: Excel, but Don’t Tell!

It’s time for another hypothetical situation! Hurrah! Let’s say you just got your first math test back from Dr. Ballard, and you got an A++. Good job! But what do you do now? Well, you certainly DON’T tape the test to your forehead and run around the school, showing it to everyone. There’s a synonym for that, and it’s called bragging. If a friend asks what you got, you can blush modestly and show the test for them; it’s also acceptable to show your owner as soon as you get home. But beware of bragging!

On that note, don’t ask everyone what they got on a test as soon as it’s handed back, either. Maybe you can ask a friend if they look really happy about it, but be careful! And remember, no one likes the pet who demands to know what everyone else got, compares his score to everyone else’s, and then brags about it. So don’t be that pet.

I’m sure you’re now overwhelmed by these many rules on not being a know-it-all, and maybe you’re wondering how you’ll ever remember them all on your first day. Don’t worry! For your convenience, I’ve scratched up a little poem, summarizing how to succeed in Neoschool. Enjoy, and remember- that Yurble Janitor hates everyone, not just you!

If you make sure that you’re sharing,

It shows them you’re fun and caring,

And with the right taste in fashion,

You’ll send them to fits of passion!

If you’ve good Neoschool supplies,

Friends will ask for no compromise,

And while with grades you should excel,

Not everyone need hear you tell.

So, if you want to be so cool,

Apply today for Neoschool!

Author’s Note: Ohemgee, everyone, I can’t tell you how excited I am that Neoschool has finally been released! I mean, IT’S ABOUT TIME, TNT! Anyway, I just had to write something up, so sorry if it seems rushed. Enjoy our brand-spanking-new Neoschool, and if you do happen to be picked on for being a know-it-all, don’t blame me!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

A Better Life: Part Two
"You know we'll be there," she said, marvelling at how much more confident she had become since coming to this school. "He won't get away with anything..."

by oearmuffso

---------

Amikarashui #9
NeoSchool Nonsense

by bluecloud300

---------

Neoschool Troubles
Now that Neoschools are finally open... you have to feel a bit sorry for the Teachers.

by tootsiekitty_

---------

Wicked in the Woods: Part Three
As the Werelupe guard lumbered over to where Garith and Wrey lay hidden in the bushes, a feeling of dread washed over them...

by scarletspindle



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.