Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 186,904,163 Issue: 171 | 31st day of Celebrating, Y6
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Dear Troxy: Down With Roxy

by roxycaligirl101


Did you think you had seen the last of me? I don’t fall and I don’t disappear, unlike Dr. Frank Sloth! I’ll be around for awhile. I’m an Angelpuss. No one can get rid of an Angelpuss, especially one as devious as me.

I cannot believe Sloth gave up. What in Fyora’s name was he thinking! I mean, he had my owner on the run and forces her to go on an “extended vacation with fashion” because she was running out of ideas. It was Sloth’s perfect time to pounce and kick the Shoyru to the curb. Something we all could’ve celebrated but no, he becomes weak and lets Roxy win. Who lets the fashion twit win? I sure won’t! I am not weak like Sloth and I will take Roxy down. There is only room in this galaxy for one advice columnist and Sloth out of the running. It’s down to the ditz and me, a Cali vs. a Cali. So, Roxy, let me ask you, are you feeling lucky?

Dear Troxy:

Who is that creature in the Lair of the Beast? A relative of yours?

-Still Running Away

Dear Still Running Away:

Nope, it’s your mom!


Dear Troxy:

I go to an All-Lupe Training School on Mystery Island. I really am fascinated with the kindness and cuteness of most Chias. I try not to show it very much, including declining an adorable Yellow Chia Backpack. Going on, one of the Lupes in my school found out about my passion. He told all his friends, and now the whole school is teasing me! What should a do?

-Chia Fan

Dear Chia Fan:

Break into the perpetrator’s locker and stash some cute, adorable Chia goods in there. The school will stop teasing you and move on to the one that made fun of you. Then, you can play with your Chia plushies without worry. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know transfer schools, you, weirdo. I mean come on, what Lupe really likes a Chia?


Dear Troxy:

Are you Dr. Frank Sloth?

-Curious Ruki

Dear Curious Ruki:

Nope. Sloth is gone, I’m still here. There is a big difference between the green alien Frank and me, the scheming white Angelpuss. We’re not even the same gender!


Dear Troxy:

How do you manage your time, Troxy? I barely have time for Neoschool and friends; and I almost forget to take care of my Snowbunny. Do you have any tips I could use to get things done on time?

-Really Late Cybunny

Dear Really Late Cybunny:

Uhh..buy yourself a watch, that’s how get things done in time.


Dear Troxy:

What’s the best item you've ever won with any of the Neopian wheels?

-Hectic Horus

Dear Hectic Horus:

I don’t play the wheels. They are a waste of time. Roxy plays the wheels though and I was quite overjoyed when she won some vile illness, oh, it was great. I didn’t have to listen to her blabber for a week. I wonder if they sell gift certificates to the Neopian wheels, it would be the perfect gift for my horrid owner. I hope she wins another disease.


Dear Troxy:

Marmite. Do you love it or hate it?

-Marmite Hater

Dear Marmite Hater:

Never had it but Roxy despises it, so I love it.


Dear Troxy:

My petpet is a Deaver and he won’t stop chewing on my WOOD house! How can I stop this?

-A Troublesome Kiko

Dear A Troublesome Kiko:

Hahaha! You actually brought a Deaver into a wood house? Uh, hello, what did you think he would do? What is your IQ like four? You can’t stop this! You might have to get rid of the Deaver before your house turns into a toothpick. I’d happily accept the Deaver from you; I think a wood-chewing rascal would be an excellent addition to my world domination team.


Dear Troxy:

Are you really going to take over the world?

-Brooke Lynn

Dear Brooke Lynn:

Of course. Bow down now, rather than later. Trust me, I’m going to take over. Not only will I bet the only advice columnist but I’ll be your leader, too. Afterall, Slothy or should I say Frank turned out to be a major disappointment. I have severed ties with the loser, Dr. Frank Sloth, I don’t need him. I’m taking over the world on my own terms, first by eliminating by annoying owner, Roxy.


Dear Troxy:

I keep having horrible dreams that I lose all my Neopoints and items then, my pets get sick. I always wake up before I find out what happens to my stock. What should I do?

-Bad Dreamer

Dear Bad Dreamer:

Nothing, you don’t want to know happens to your stock.


Dear Troxy:

What would you suggest that Sloth wear instead of his one-piece black, tattered robe that never gets washed?

-A Sponge Grundo Sponge

Dear A Sponge Grundo Sponge:

A T-shirt that reads, “I’ve lost to a ditzy, fashionable Shoyru!”


Dear Troxy:

I am a level 18 female Purple Cybunny. I’m really tough but my older brother, a male Blue Lupe, calls me girly (even though I can beat him up in one kick). What should I do?

- Misunderstood Battledomer

Dear Misunderstood Battledomer:

Beat him with one kick! Teach that loser a lesson, he’ll never forget.


Dear Troxy:

My Wocky loves her Puppyblew but every night it wakes me up by barking! I am so tempted to get rid of it, but my Wocky pleads not to. What should I do?


Dear Tired:

Buy some earplugs you, heartless Fein!


Well, future subjects, I shall dominate and win! So, if you want to send Roxy a question, you better hurry because her next article might be her last. Back in black? Ha! Gone before the month of Running is more like it. Long live, Troxy!

To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy or Troxy, simply send a Neomail to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy" or “Dear Troxy”. Inappropriate, tasteless, and repeated messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Please don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy or Troxy. Due to an overwhelming amount of messages, not all of them can be answered by Roxy or Troxy. All messages are subjected to editing and can be published. So don't submit something if you don't want to see it in The Neopian Times.

Author’s Note: The battle begins. Sloth is gone and a new advice columnist has stepped into the arena. Only one Cali shall win…which one will it be? Troxy or Roxy?

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