Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 177,073,878 Issue: 334 | 14th day of Running, Y10
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

The Whittleman Expedition


by visorak_commander

--------

During the months of Sleeping and Awakening, a scarcely-known search and rescue operation had taken place deep in the jungles of northern Mystery Island. Its purpose was to find a missing and highly-regarded member of the Neopian Anthropology Society, the esteemed Blue JubJub Professor Jiggens, who had disappeared while searching for an ancient tribe that was thought to have been connected with Geraptiku. While the rest of his team returned safely, he was somehow lost in an overgrown Crocalu scare.

     Only a week or so ago was this story finally uncovered by a volunteer of the Neopian Times, quickly published in what you are now reading. While doing so, please keep in mind that the proceeding are all journal entries from the notebook of another NAS member, a Yellow Ogrin by the name of Doctor Whittleman, who led the expedition to find the Professor. The earlier journal entries were excluded for lack of importance, and that they would take up too much valuable space. So, please enjoy.

- 12th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     After searching so thoroughly through these confined jungles, I believe that we will soon find the esteemed Professor Jiggens. I shiver in anticipation of meeting such an extraordinary fellow, discoverer of those Ruins of Geraptiku; forever has his name been etched in my list of the most important contributors to modern science. And soon he will be rescued from this confined prison of trees, vines and thickets!

- 13th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     Aha! I was awoken in the early slivers of light today by one of the guides, only to find a distinct set of footprints belonging to no member of our camp. Apparently, he was startled awake by having thought to have heard some sort of wild beast; to the relief of all of us, fortunately, no such creature was found. But, we now know that we must be on the correct trail! As I write this very moment our camp is hurrying after the footprints, though soon we must conclude this day's advance as the sun is quickly disappearing from view and darkness once again shrouds our every direction.

- 15th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     After two days' quick following of the footprints, we have lost the trail. I am very disappointed in myself for not urging the expedition on even faster, for perhaps we could have found the Professor if only that had been done. Tomorrow, I pray, will yield another certain direction for us to go in; it surely won't be long now until he is safe!

- 16th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     Yes! Earlier this day we finally found Professor Jiggens, feasting on some tropical fruit found in the trees nearby; his clothes are terribly torn and filthy, but he seems to be in quite the excellent mood! It seems that such an incredible man as he can find the utmost humor in everything, never ceasing his contagious laughter. As our own little celebration we decided to rest for the remainder of the day and find more of that delicious fruit he was found eating. The rest of the expedition seem a bit disturbed by his strange new habits, but I know that they must simply be customs and rituals he picked up from nearby villages and tribes.

- 17th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     Ha; the Month of Sleeping, yet I've been far too excited for such a thing. Earlier this day I attempted to have a pleasant anthropological discussion with the Professor, but he was too distracted by examining various insects on the jungle floor, proceeding to eat them. How marvelously polite, to not even hesitate doing a common but commonly disdained tribal practice! I admire him all the more for such manners; I should try it myself, sometime.

- 19th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     So, our camp has slowly been making its way back to the civilized area of the island; I am appalled to say that the guides and some others are offended by the practices of the Professor. How utterly discriminatory, disrespecting the natives who created them! If these people were not necessary to getting back, I would surely shun them.

- 23rd day of the Month of Sleeping -

     Over the course of a few days, it seems that two of our five guides, already experienced in the exploration of these jungles, have abandoned us; we are better off without them, I'm sure. The Professor was kind enough to step in and act as one himself, already having been through these paths. Though at first it wasn't agreed which was the proper way to go, I was able to convince the other guides that the Professor obviously knows better; after all, he has so recently been through these very trails.

- 25th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     After constantly listening to the complaining of my fellow camp members, it has been revealed that Professor Jiggens has been leading us in circles; when confronted with the fact, he simply laughed and laughed. After thinking it over, I joined in the humor, knowing that he meant no harm and was just playing a joke on us all to raise spirits. It stifled the humor a bit, though, when I actually had to explain it to the others; they have no senses of humor, apparently.

- 28th day of the Month of Sleeping -

     Due to the aching of my body, I seem to be writing in this journal less and less; fortunately, the Professor can always find a way to put a smile on my lips. Earlier today, he told me a few good jokes, though no one else understood them; too intellectual, I suppose. Still, we're back on track to civilization, after our regular guides refused to allow anyone else to direct movement of the camp.

- 1st day of the Month of Awakening -

     How disgusting! Half of the camp has now deserted us, along with two of our last three guides. It appears they found nothing funny about the Professor stuffing a few dozen large insects in their tents, which is rather hilarious if you really think about it.

- 5th day of the Month of Awakening -

     The Professor and I and now completely alone, all other members of the expedition also abandoning us. How fortunate that we're already so close to the end of the jungle. When we get back, I'll make sure that those mongrels are never a part of anthropological history again! Oh, look: delicious insects and flowers!

- 79 day of the year OF Jungle -

     HA HA! Bug and insects is food now! HA HAHHA HA HA! We go eat notebooks now AH AH?

     After the rest of the expedition returned and reported to NAS, another team was sent to retrieve the Doctor and Professor; they were quickly found and escorted back to the Neopian mainland. As a rich reward for his bravery in the jungles, Doctor Whittleman was given a fully paid-for room in a large resort-like place, staffed by several pets in clean, white uniforms. It was also unanimously decided that he should have a long break from anthropological study, and his new residence would be a fitting vacation spot. He, along with Professor Jiggens, is still there today.

The End

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Talk About Random - "How to Become a Snow Ixi"
What are you guys doing?

by buizelmaniac

---------

Living By the Healing Springs
The wailing or crying would reach my ears, and not a second later some scene was in my mind's eye, my imagination running wild with it...

by yellowing

---------

Cursed

Also by sperm_whales_4ever

by brightheart250


---------

A Room Full of Instruments
Today, he had decided, he was going to have a flute sale. All day long, he would restock only flutes. All with a 2,000 Neopoint discount. It was brilliant...

by sweetie_me274



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.