Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 177,073,899 Issue: 333 | 7th day of Running, Y10
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Kitty and Ambry: The Usuki Interviews


by ilovetoread_247

--------

Hello, Neopians, this is Ambreona1, a blue Lupe and occasional Times writer. I’m here to write about Usukis, something I never much cared for until I got one of the best ideas of my life. It happened this way:

     I was writing my memoirs one day a few weeks ago when my yellow Wocky sister, Cutekitty256889, came into the lounge carrying her magic hair Usuki. My blue Uni sister, _Fancy_Fluff_, followed her, carrying a flight attendant Usuki. At first, I thought that this would be an improvement over her usual sibling related hobby, fighting with my red Meerca brother Faylval, but sadly I was mistaken. The two Usukis were apparently having a high-pitched little argument with each other. And then my sisters began discussing various new doll outfits... I was trying to tune out their incessant Usuki babble until Fancy remarked to Cutekitty that she’d “really like the Jeran Usuki - it’s so, like, cool looking, you know?”

     A thought struck me. Wouldn’t it be something to have my own Usuki? An Ambreona Usuki? I could just picture it, pale blue, wearing my green T-shirt and long blue skirt. I wondered how it would feel to have thousands of Neopians buying little usul-oid versions of me.

     It was then that my brilliant thought struck me. I would interview some of the many Neopians who had Usuki dolls made for them.

     So, without further ado, my interviews!

     ~*~

     Ambreona1: First, I will be interviewing Lisha, the yellow Aisha who helped to save Meridell twice! Umm... Any second now... Where is that Wocky?

     Cutekitty256889, with Aisha in tow: Ummm... Hi, Ambry... Umm... And here is Lisha!

     Ambry: *restraining herself from yelling* *barely* Cutekitty, that is cousin Bunnybaby. Wearing our owner’s glasses.

     Bunny: I told you that Lisha’s not green.

     Cutekitty: Whatever, Bunny. And Ambry, they would have been fooled if you hadn’t blabbed it to everyone.

     Ambry: Look, JUST GO FIND LISHA!!!!

     Cutekitty: But Kayla said that Lisha’s busy.

     Ambry: *consults extremely long list* There’s a Kayla Usuki!!!! You could have just gotten her!!!

     Cutekitty: Well, sorry for not reading your mind!

     Ambry: Kitty...

     Next on the list: Jeran Usuki!

     Ambry: Since Jeran also lives in Meridell, he’ll be our next interviewee. Admittedly, we aren’t in Meridell... But whatever. Kitty was earlier, all right? Anyhow, if I’m not mistaken, here comes Cutekitty, with... not Jeran... Something small and silver?

     Cutekitty: Alright, Ambry, I found Jeran. I actually got an interview too. And actually, even if you don’t get published, we might end up in the Neopian Times’ coverage of the Meridell-Darigani Peace Tournament.

     Ambry: Oh, no... *covers face with paws*

     Fancy: Oh, come on, Ambry, its not like there’s such a thing as, you know, bad publicity!

     Ambry: Fancy, you were there. What’d she do?

     Cutekitty: Just listen to the interview.

     Ambry: Kitty, what is that silver ball thing?

     Cutekitty: It’s a Virtupets Recorder. It lets you record noises, and then play them back. *Presses button on top of recorder*

     Recorder: Sloth rules. Listen to Sloth. Sloth is a genius. Sloth should rule Neopia. Do whatever Sloth says.

     Ambry: Is this why you got in trouble?

     Cutekitty: I never said I got in trouble! And this is just prerecorded stuff. It’s on all of them.

     Recorder: Obey Sloth.

     Cutekitty: Here, I’ll press fast forward.

     Recorder: listentoslothslothisthegreatestslothisjustsoincrediblysmart...

     Fancy: Um, no he isn’t...

     Recorder: Yesheisfoolishunisalothrulesslothpwnsyouall...

     Cutekitty: Here we go.

     Ambry: And now for the interview!

     Cutekitty (recorded.): Hi, and, like, you know, welcome to Kitty and Ambry: The Usuki Interviews. This is Cutekitty256889.

     Fancy: And this is _Fancy_Fluff_.

     Cutekitty: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop interrupting me, Fluffy.

     Fancy: That’s FANCY, Kitty.

     Cutekitty: What did I just say? Anyway, there’s Jeran. Blue Lupe, hero of two wars, and featured as a bright blue Jeran Usuki. Currently he appears to be fighting a Darigan Tonu...

     *Sound of clanging swords*

     Cutekitty: Hey, Sir Jeran. Sir Jeran!

     *Sound of clanging swords*

     Cutekitty: Will you stop fighting that guy and listen up?!

     *Sound of clanging swords*

     Cutekitty: Ah, well... Snowykit! Attack! *softly* Go Kitty, go Cutekitty...

     Jeran’s opponent: AUGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

     Ambry (not recorded): *stops the recorder* You had your angelpuss attack the guy Jeran was sword fighting?!

     Cutekitty: Snowykit is a Christmas Angelpuss. *starts the recorder again*

     Jeran (recorded): What the... Um, miss, your petpet is attacking Sir Rodaxam.

     Cutekitty: If you’d just listened to me to begin with, we wouldn’t have this problem.

     Rodaxam: GET IT OFF! OWWWWWWWW! IT’S BITING MY HEAD!

     Jeran: Miss...

     Fancy: Kitty...

     Cutekitty: Fancy, be quiet. Now. Sir Jeran. How does it feel to have millions of Neopets and owners trying to collect Jeran Usukis?

     Jeran: Well, to be honest, I’ve never really cared one way or the other, though I guess it’s pretty cool... I get a lot of attention as it is, of course, but this isn’t anything too bad... Except when people try to get me to sign them... And, Miss, the main problem here remains the fact that this is the main event of the peace tournament and your ANGELPUSS is attacking Sir Rodaxam!

     Voice That Sounds A Lot Like Lord Darigan: Hey! What’s going on here?

     Fancy: Uh-Oh.

     Cutekitty: Awesome! I can interview the Bat-Thing Usuki! Hey! Fluffy! Fancy! _Fancy_Fluff_!

     Fancy: (Not recorded) And that’s about when I grabbed her and flew off. Yeah. But... like... we got an interview this time, Ambry! Ambry? Ambry, stop banging your head on the wall, you’ll, like, hurt the bamboo...

     *~*

     So, that’s how my great idea turned out. My beautiful article, reduced to a semi-humorous ruin of a short story. The possibility of another Meridell-Citadel war, or maybe just one against my sister. Who’d probably win.

     Oh well. I might try this again some day.

     But Cutekitty sure won’t be part of it.

     Hey, what’s that noise, anyhow? It sounds like someone is invading my writing territory...

     *~*

     Voice: Hey, Rex, what’s up?

     *~*

     Oh. Never mind. Just one of my green Gelert brother’s friends.

     *~*

     Cutekitty: So, HANNAH, how do you feel about being a Usuki?

     Hannah?!?! The Hannah?!?!: Well, um... my...

     Ambry (coming downstairs rapidly): EEEEEE! THANK YOU! EEEEE! HANNAH! *pauses* Hold up. There’s not a Hannah Usuki anywhere on my list.

     Cutekitty: Sure there is. See, Pirate Wench Usuki. It looks just like her. Of course, I think...

     Hannah?!?! The Hannah?!?!: Wait, my name-

     Cutekitty: Be quiet. I’m talking now. You get your turn later.

     Rex: *pounds forehead* SHE’S NOT HANNAH! SHE’S MY FRIEND LOLA! Don’t you guys ever listen to anybody?

     Cutekitty: What? But she looks exactly...

     Ambry: *Glowers*

     Rex: (Very quickly) But she is a pirate wench she works in the Golden Doubloon or whatever that place is called you know so she is a Usuki and please be grateful I invited her over so that you would stop being all upset it’s a good thing we live so near Krawk Island-

     Ambry: Rex, be quiet, and please use good grammar. Sentences. They’re called sentences. You use multiple sentences, and in between, you stop. Oh yeah, and thank you SO MUCH! I guess. I mean, she’s not... like, no offense, but... Ah, oh well. *Grins* So, Lola, do you enjoy being a Usuki? Or looking like one, anyway?

     Lola: Oh, yeah, totally. Except that everyone does seem to think that it’s my sister. She was always the one to do weird stuff. I could never crawl into any caves. Still, it’s fun being confused with her. You wouldn’t think that it would be, but it is. I LOVE the attention. And I actually collect Pirate Wench Usukis. All of us at the Doubloon do. You, know, I love the little things. And actually, the skirt is more mine than Hannah’s, and so the face really, at least that what I’ve always said. Be sure to put that in your article, all right, Ambreona?

     Ambry: Wow, and thanks for your input. And thanks all of ya’ll for reading this, and my siblings, for being so awesome!

     Cutekitty: Except Faylval.

     Ambry and Rex: Kitty...

The End

Special thanks to cgirlrocks1234 for the use of bunnybaby2354!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Pirate Haven
The Pirate Pets of Altador can't afford to give King Altador any inkling that such a place exists just outside of his grand city. If you're a well known pirate with excellent underworld connections, then yes, of course you'd have a ticket in, but otherwise...

by seegensays

---------

Neo's Law II
You know they exist but rarely think about 'em... until one suddenly decides to enforce itself.

by 4zure

---------

Comic Relief - Fashion Don't
Join Puck, Zu and Tod in their (mis)adventures through the world of Neopia. [Chapter 1 - Episode 5]

Also by amyishh

by hoeiva


---------

Neopia Divided: Can It Survive War With Sloth?
How are Neopians split on such a vital issue? Sloth's actions and history themselves are a source of great debate.

by tashni



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.