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Mulligatawny and More: The Soup Faerie


by flowerblossom_823

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Well, I’m baa-ack for article #2! Hey! Keep your feet where I can see them. You’re not going anywhere. You are going to read this. And I mean every. Single. Word.

Okay, you can skip the occasional “and”, “the”, or “xylophone.” (The latter will most likely not be used very frequently).

Some of you may know me from my groundbreaking interview with Neopia’s very own hero, the Smoothie Store Tuskaninny. Yes, yes, a very good fellow, but I’m on to better things now. Bigger things. Like the giant omelette. No, as far as I know, the omelette can’t talk, but if it could... anyways, for those of you who aren’t familiar with my epic work, I’m Neopia’s soon-to-be-famous Roving Reporter, the one who gets the scoop, no matter how difficult, and reports it back to you.

Soon to be famous. I’m almost there, aren’t I? Right? Right.

I could go on and on with my life story, but for some reason, most people just don’t want to hear about it, so let’s skip most of that and skip straight to me being a struggling Neopian reporter who is not yet noticed by the superstars.

But I’m advancing quickly. No more anonymous smoothie-obsessed interviewees; I’ve got a much more desirable subject lined up this time.

Yes, I really got the Soup Faerie to sit down with me. You thought I was lying, didn’t you? You thought I was just telling you I had an interview with the Soup Faerie, when really all that I had written was some lame story about the blue Nimmo from the School Supplies shop?

Actually, that was pretty much what I was originally planning to do, because I mean really, who would have thought that a Neopian celebrity like the Soup Faerie would want to sit down with a lowly member of the paparazzi such as myself? However, my adoring fans, things worked out better than I had hoped for, because wouldn’t you know it, the Soup Faerie really does make time for the common people! What a kind and generous soul she is!

So, I bet you’re dying to know how this miraculous event played out: it began when I was making my way towards the School Supplies shop. You know, to interview that Nimmo? So I was passing through that insanely-crazy Marketplace when my stomach started growling. I mean, really growling, in that people-start-to-look-at-you-strangely way, and I knew I really needed to get something to eat if I was going to make it all the way to the Neopian Plaza. Unfortunately, the Marketplace stresses me out immensely, and I can never find anything that I want because all of the shops look the same to me. Looking around me at all of the chaos, all I wanted to do was curl up on the grass and nibble on an omelette, but just my luck, I didn’t have any. Besides, a person can only eat so many omelettes before they start to lose their effect. I was on the verge of collapsing in an incoherent heap on the ground when, alas...

I saw it. A familiar, huge, looming cauldron at the edge of my vision, looking entirely welcoming. In a hunger-induced stupor, I hurried towards it, already thinking of food in my stomach. Little did I know that I would find my story within the warm walls of that oversized pot. The story that would continue to build my reputation as one of Neopia’s finest reporters. The story that would make readers weep into their bowls of Starberry Soup.

When I first walked in, the Soup Faerie looked up from the soup she was making and gave me that Look. That one she always gives me? That you’re-not-supposed-to-be-here-look. But on that day I wasn’t daunted. Because I saw right in front of me that I had found the story that the people needed to hear.

(Also, as you will see, she kind of had to give me an interview, otherwise her reputation as a kind and loving Faerie would be kaput.)

So. Read on. And find out what really goes on behind that always-benevolent expression.

Soup Faerie: *menacing glare* Get out.

Roving Reporter: Now, no need to be hasty! I—

SF: *rolls eyes* Look, sweetie, you’re obviously delusional; I can see your bank account and shop till. And in case you have still failed to grasp this little fact, you do not have fewer than 3,000 neopoints—

RR: I’m a struggling reporter! Wanting free food is part of my image!

SF: *sigh* Okay, let’s see, I have a magical spoon. *brandishes spoon*

RR: Oh yeah? Well, I have—

SF: You have five seconds to walk out that door before I use this magical spoon to force you out.

RR: Hmm, testy today, aren’t we?

SF: If you were the one who had to deal with cranky, starving pets all day, every day, maybe you’d be testy too. Now you really need to leave, can’t you see the line?

RR: *quick glance* Ah, yes. They’re probably hungry.

SF: *sarcasm* No, really? I never would have guessed. Move along now, and we can just forget that this ever happened.

RR: Actually... I had a favor to ask you.

SF: No, you can’t have soup. No, I can’t do magic for you. No, I’m not arranging a meeting with Fyora.

RR: Okay, that’s all fine, but would you consider sitting down for a few minutes so that I could interview you?

SF: For what? The Neopian Times?

RR: Of course! I’m very well-known over there.

Random Green JubJub: Hey, buddy, we’re hungry over here!

SF: Hold on just one more second! Yeah, um, I don’t like you. Actually, I hate

RR: Hate’s a very strong word. You strongly dislike me.

SF: Yeah, whatever. So, let me think really hard about this. *taps chin with finger* Do I want to help you in any way, after the whole business with you constantly invading my kitchen, begging for food which you are not entitled to? What’s that word I’m looking for... it begins with an N and ends with an O...

RR: Nimmo? Yeah, that was my original plan, but let’s face it, he’s not the most fascinating dude out there.

SF: *freaky look* What are you talking about? Now I’ve totally lost my train of thought... oh yeah, the word. It’s no, duh.

RR: *shakes head* I hoped it wouldn’t come to blackmail.

SF: Yeah, like you’ve got anything to use against me. I’m the Soup Faerie. I’m a Neopian icon! Everyone loves me!

RR: Yeah. For now. *knowing look* It would be a real shame for them to find out the real you... the one who wouldn’t even let a poor reporter interview her. It would be a real shame if that poor reporter wrote an entire article about the Soup Faerie’s sudden sour attitude.

SF: You wouldn’t dare. And they wouldn’t put it in the Neopian Times anyway.

RR: Hey, I already got published once! I told you, I’m well-known over there!

SF: *panicky expression* Okay, okay, you win, and let the record show that the Soup Faerie is a KIND AND LOVING SOUL WHO GENUINELY CARES ABOUT HER WONDERFUL NEOPIANS.

RR: Uh huh. Now can we find somewhere to sit?

SF: Alright, look, you know I’d love to help you with your little project, but I kind of need to be serving soup? As in, all of the time?

RR: Ah, yes, a minor setback. Hey, you! *grabs shoulder of scrawny red Uni* The Soup Faerie wants you to give out her soup for the next few minutes, and in return she’ll give you an endless supply of Invisible Soup, ‘kay?

Scrawny Red Uni: Okay!

SF: *whisper* Um, I don’t actually have any Invisible Soup prepared.

RR: Just give them an empty bowl. Who’s going to know the difference?

SF: Point taken. Okay, let’s go sit outside. It’s too crowded in here.

*both walk outside*

SF: So, I can give you ten minutes, and then I really should go back in. Start talking.

RR: All right. Do you have a name?

SF: Um, I’m the Soup Faerie. Do I need a name?

RR: I... guess not. But then why does Fyora have a name? Why does she get a name and you don’t?

SF: *sigh* Does the Tooth Faerie have a name?

RR: I don’t know. Does she?

SF: No. Most Faeries don’t have names. I mean, think about it: the Negg Faerie, the Grey Faerie, the Battle Faerie—

RR: The Battle Faerie has a name, doesn’t she?

SF: *throws up hands* How should I know?

RR: So you don’t even really know the other Faeries? But you guys seem so tight? Don’t you, like, get together and do magic and stuff? Abracadabra and all that?

SF: Eh, well, I’ve hung out with Jhuidah a couple of times. Gave her some tips for that cooking pot of hers. And obviously I’ve chatted with most of the others, but my social life is pretty limited. Totally unfair. You think TNT would give me some time off.

RR: Yeah, I always thought you’d go kind of insane stuck in a cauldron all day! I mean, wouldn’t you rather lie around and pester people, getting them to bring you random gifts all day by calling them “quests,” like the other Faeries do?

SF: Yeah, but what would I give out as a reward? I’m the Soup Faerie, for goodness’ sake.

RR: So give out soup, obviously.

SF: The Earth Faerie’s got the whole food-reward taken. So I was forced to devote my time to something else.

RR: The Soup Kitchen...

SF: You got it.

RR: So. Next question. You said you don’t hang out much with the other Faeries, but have you, by any chance, had the opportunity to chat with the Jelly Faerie?

SF: The Jelly Faerie? I mean, I know I need to get out more, but I think I would know if there was a Faerie who was devoted to jelly

RR: So does that mean that you are confirming the existence of... Jelly World? *gasp*

SF: What? No! That’s ridiculous! Whoever thought of such a preposterous idea anyways? Only someone totally insane would believe in that, and last time I checked, I was the one with a reasonable degree of sanity here.

RR: You think I’m insane?

SF: *silence*

RR: Of course I’m not. *crosses arms* I am not insane. *more silence* All right, all right, let’s get down to the juicy stuff already. Do you have any, you know, rivalries with the other Faeries?

SF: No, I mean, I’m the Soup Faerie? Kind and loving? I don’t have a problem with any of the other Faeries, and they are all just the most wonderful people you could ever meet and I wish them all the best in life—

RR: Oh, please, like you guys are all la-di-da-friendship-and-rainbows-and-joy all the time. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A RIVALRY!

SF: *deep breath* Fine, if you must know, me and the Healing Springs Faerie haven’t been getting along so well lately, but I’m not getting into details, okay?

RR: Yes, you are.

SF: No, I’m not.

RR: Fine. Moving on... what’s your favorite flavor of soup?

SF: Um... Mulligatawny, probably.

RR: Come on, I can’t even pronounce that. Mulliwiga... Mugilla...

SF: *weird look*

RR: Right, right, the interview. Where was I? Oh, right. Next order of business: we seem to have a little problem, you and I.

SF: And what’s that?

RR: You see, I don’t have your avatar. And I want it. And you never give it to me, because you can see into my bank account and blah blah blah. Could you, maybe... give it to me now?

SF: What, the “kind” avatar? That’s okay. I don’t really think it suits you, anyways.

RR: Are you implying that I’m not kind?!

SF: You tried to blackmail the Soup Faerie a few minutes ago. Don’t tell me you’re some sweetheart.

RR: *gives evil eye*

SF: Look, time’s just about up. Any last questions?

RR: Um, yeah... do you happen to use noodles in any of your soup?

SF: Yeah, in a few different types... um, why?

RR: Well, the thing is... I was wondering if noodles were trainable.

SF: Trainable? Like, petpet trainable? As far as I know, noodles are inanimate objects.

RR: There’s got to be some way around that, don’t you think?

SF: No...?

RR: Oh. Well. Just wondering about that. *fidgets*

SF: Okay, um, are we done yet?

RR: Yeah, I guess we are.

SF: This article’s not going to make me look bad, is it?

RR: Well. That depends on how you look at it—

SF: It’s going to make me look bad. *deep exhale* This is the last time I let the press anywhere near me; it never works out... *walks away*

And the Soup Faerie left me to return to her adoring fans, all of whom by that point were screeching about the incompetence of the Uni that we’d left in charge of soup distribution. With surprising grace and dignity, the Soup Faerie swooped in to relieve the small pet of his burden, ladling great spoonfuls of the day’s Cornupepper Soup into the bowls of the creatures who so relied on her to keep them from falling into the unfortunate state of starvation.

Her smile is sweeter than anything she’s added to her mysterious concoctions so far, but emotions lie somewhere behind her bland expressions and neutral words. Maybe not the nicest emotions. Maybe some angrier emotions, but they’re still emotions, right? And whether you adore her for her generosity towards the poor or (like the common majority of us) resent her for her stinginess towards the rich and average, you’ve got to admit that the Soup Faerie is as real as they come. Whatever that means.

The Soup Faerie left me thinking that this article would damage her well-built reputation, but in reality... okay, so maybe it kind of does put her in a bad light, but that’s not really my fault, now, is it? And now the story’s been told. I don’t know how many other reporters have attempted to get some truth out of the Soup Faerie; obviously, the Roving Reporter has been the most successful of them all, the one who was able to crack the Soup Faerie’s joyful exterior. The Roving Reporter found angles that have been explored by no other.

The next time you enter that cauldron looking for soup that the Soup Faerie won’t give you, you will be sure to see the Soup Faerie for who she really is: a slightly cranky character who is in desperate need of a vacation.

And yet, for all of her faults, she must be given credit. I mean, I know that I, for one, would get extremely claustrophobic if I were permanently imprisoned in a cauldron. Oops, did I say “imprisoned”? What I meant was employed...

And there you have it. The Roving Reporter completes her second interview without any lasting damage caused to any of Neopia’s inhabitants. It is a miraculous feat.

 
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