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Horrible Characters You Don't Want To Be!


by sswpyo

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You might have dreamed about being a magical faerie, a Meridell knight, or Dr. Sloth. Those characters have great, fun lives. But there are a handful out there in Neopia who have bad lives, or at least, in my view. Here is a list of charries that have less-than-great lives. Be very, very thankful you're not one of these.

1) Chef Bonju: I mean, you sit in a room alone for long periods of time. Then someone comes trying to make something in your "magical vessel" and ends up exploding in your face. Yay, you're all burnt with your fur stuck out everywhere. In addition to that, you have to buy the same clothes and ladles over and over again whenever someone attempts to get that avvie with your face on it. Oh, and that's also a tad creepy, don't you think? Don't even get me started about when he pushed Hoban off the ship...

Why you should thank him: Without him, there wouldn't have been a great plot... and great prizes!

2) That Light Faerie at the Wheel of Excitement: Yay, you get to spin a wheel. 24/7. Your arms will get so sore, and your feet too. Doing this while still looking pretty. And I'm sure when a pet gets zapped, you get zapped, too. Personally, I look for more excitement than spinning a wheel. You'll never get to be like your sister, Illusen, who is utterly famous and well known. Heck, even the Darkest Faerie is famous! As for you? Nothing...

Why you should thank her: Hey, then you'd be spinning your own wheel!

3) The Snowager: Sure, you get all that treasure, but it's not like you can do anything with it. You can't even travel to the trading post to make a profit; you'll be a puddle. And you can't fit into the bank. All you do is be awake, sitting on an uncomfortable pile of junk, and sleep when you're scheduled to. Yeah, that's right, you can't sleep when you want to. And when you do, pesky scavengers come and try to steal your stuff. Super fun.

Why you should thank him: I'm sure one time you gotten something good from him.

4) The Money Tree: Okay, you're a tree. With people constantly dumping junk that they don't want on you. Hooray! And you can't move. And sadly, you can never be painted. All your dreams about being a rainbow or faerie tree are dead. And worse, the Rainbow Pool is right beside you. And with different time zones, people are always around. No quiet time just for you. What about those Weewoos who keep tickling you? You can't do anything about it! You also have a giant round sign taped on you that says "Money Tree". The worst thing is being labelled.

Why you should thank him: Well... you might have gotten something good. Maybe.

5) The Yurble Janitor: What's worse than cleaning for a job? And cleaning in a room with statues always staring at you. It's creepy at night even more. You just know that the Gladiator statue is out to get you. And you might have been in a few plots, but do you have your own TCG? No. Are you that great hero? No. And those sandals, they scream "ouch!".

Why you should thank him: He keeps the Hall of Heroes clean of dust. No one likes dust.

6) Edna the Witch: For one, you're hideous. Sure, you've got that dream about being a super model... but for how long have you been at it? By the time you can be a model, you'll be way too old! And now you got to make a youthful potion. Joy. Not to mention those mobs of people that hate you for giving out horrid prizes. And that mob of people who are demanding to know why you need ingredients for "Glowing Wand of Kacheek Stretching". And one eye is way bigger than the other.

Why you should thank her: She might have given you the avvie, something good, and she has found you people who share your hatred of her!

7) The Underwater Fishing Owner: You're inside a little box, inside a dark cave. And it probably gives you shivers down your spine when you think about all those giant squid swimming underneath you. Just sitting there until a Neopet comes down to fish. Even then all you'll be doing is watching people fish. EXTREME! I'm sure he/she has to have a TV or something. But one day you'll hate reruns. And that avvie? Is it you on it? No. It's that yellow Usul! What has she done but fish? Without you, there wouldn't be an Underwater Fishing. Oh, but you get no credit.

Why you should thank him/her: Then there wouldn't be any butter fishes, avvies, or giant squid.

8) The Tiki Tour Guide: I'm positive you'll get tired of seeing the same things over and over again. What if you step on a pointy rock? Ouch, I mean, they don't even provide shoes! What if you have to pull a Skeith? Urgh. Saying the same things again and again... one day you'll see natives dancing and say "that's Techo Mountain!". How embarrassing.

Why you should thank them: For only 50 NP, you don't have to click a lot to play with your Neopet.

9) The Kadoatery Caretaker: Do I really have to explain? -sigh- I guess I do. Okay, you've got annoyed Neopets coming in with screaming Kads. Then those other Neopians trying to feed them. Then if they're not fed, they cry and cry and scream so loudly. You always have to wear earplugs, or you'll be deaf. Then when you go home, your ears probably ring of wailing Kadoaties. Whoohoo.

Why you should thank him/her: You got an escape from your Kad. You got the avvie/trophies.

10) The Second hand Shoppe Shop Keeper: What's so great about smelling like dung all the time? Nobody donates anything but dung! And your clothes are second-hand, too. Then your clothes stink like dung when you go home. And your shop is a box with a chimney. The smell of dung and pizza will most likely get you sick. And there's hearing all those horrible instrument players...

Why you should thank him: Yay, free dung!

Some of those are probably obvious... hey, someone has to point them out! And others you might have no even thought about. Next time you see one of the Neopians listed here, say thanks for all they've done. Except the Snowager. You don't want to mess with him.

 
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