Talking with Mr. Ticket
Something has happened!
A mysterious man gives you a lottery ticket. Why not click here to play!
Hello fellow Neopians, I am Lemon, bringing you updates from around Neopia.
Many have sent me messages claiming that they have been visited by a mysterious man who just happens to hand out free lottery tickets to those in need.
I, the lovely Lemon, have spent numerous days and nights hiding behind corners, atop the highest peaks of Terror Mountain, and inside the branches of towering trees. I have had one thing on my agenda; tracking down this kind soul, so we, Lemon and Lemon Productions, could interview him for you. Our goal is to ask him a series of perilous questions and get nothing but interesting answers along the way.
Who exactly does this blue paw belong to?
Why does he have a hidden stash of Lottery Tickets?
These questions, and many more, will be answered for you today. Stay tuned!
**For safety precautions our guest has asked to remain anonymous, so in this segment we will refer to him as “Mr. Ticket”**
Lemon: Hello, Mr. Ticket. It is kind of you to visit today.
Mr. Ticket: It is a pleasure, I am sure.
Lemon: Let’s get down to business –
Mr. Ticket: (Interrupts) Correction, it would have sounded much better if you had said “Let us” instead of “Let’s”. Contractions are so improper. Please begin again.
Lemon: You do know this is documented, correct?
Mr. Ticket: You can edit it out.
Lemon: We shall. Ahem, Let US begin again. In the random event, I am sure you are aware, only your hand is shown. Do you care to tell us what species you are?
Mr. Ticket: Can you not see for yourself?
Lemon: Yes, but I believe it would be proper if you were to announce this breaking news to the public yourself.
Mr. Ticket: I refuse!
Lemon: Excuse me? What?
Mr. Ticket: I refuse. If everyone knew what I looked like, then all of course there would be a mass adoption of that species. I am sure you know what I mean. I have to think of my fellow Neopians’ rights. I would like to move on now, if you will.
Lemon: Well, alright. How many lottery tickets do you have? And where you do keep them?
Mr. Ticket: They are fake lottery tickets, of course. Every morning I wake up to the sound of my home printing press. I spend many hours a day perfecting the fake tickets so that the Neopian Lottery never knows the difference. Of course I have thousands made!
Mr. Ticket: No! Of course not! That is blasphemy! You should have seen the look on your face; I had you believing every line! You really are quite the fool.
Lemon: I beg your pardon! I am asking you simple questions, and I believe I deserve truthful answers. Is that really to much to ask?
Mr. Ticket: Alright, well that does sound fair enough. Point taken, go on.
Lemon: Okay. Well truthfully, why do you have multitudes of Lottery tickets?
Mr. Ticket: To be perfectly honest, I work for the N.L.F.F.A.O.N.
Lemon: What is the N.L.F... what does the acronym stand for, Mr. Ticket?
Mr. Ticket: It stands for the National Lottery Foundation for All of Neopia.
Lemon: You work for the Lottery Department?
Mr. Ticket: Of course! Do you really think I would spend my hard earned Neopoints to help out others?
Mr. Ticket: Well, no. That is not how it works.
Lemon: Then how does it work?
Mr. Ticket: The N.L.F.F.A.O.N. prints off so many “reject tickets”, that they are sure will not win anything. They load me up with a basket filled with tickets and send me on the streets of Neopia. Every ten people I pass get a free “reject ticket”. Most times they just tuck it into their pockets and ignore it; but every now and then one or two people will get the urge to buy more, and so they do. In turn they raise more money for the winning Lottery Participant and they make more profit.
Lemon: Therefore paying you more?
Mr. Ticket: You know; you are smarter than you look! Indeed, they do pay me more.
Lemon: So do you ever purchase any “real” Lottery tickets?
Mr. Ticket: I have before, though, I am no lucky Blumaroo; I do not make a habit of entering.
Lemon: So can I assume that you are not a Blumaroo?
Mr. Ticket: Sneaky thing, aren’t you?
Lemon: Of course. Can I get the statement now?
Mr. Ticket: Nope. Move along.
Lemon: Do you have a favorite series of numbers? Or at least any that you feel are more “lucky” than others?
Mr. Ticket: Of course, but if I share that information, I might as well share what species I am.
Lemon: Well then, do share!
Mr. Ticket: No!
Lemon: Alright. Since you are a member of the Lottery Department, do you have any say in what numbers get chosen?
Mr. Ticket: Of course not! If I did, I would be picking my own numbers.
Lemon: True, true.
Mr. Ticket: Am I finished being interrogated now?
Lemon: One last question, if you do not mind?
Mr. Ticket: I do mind, but since this is going to be viewed by the public, I will answer one last question.
Lemon: If you hand out Lottery Tickets, like you said, to every tenth person, how do you keep your anonymity?
Mr. Ticket: You could have asked something like, “What is your favorite Altador Cup team?” I would have been more willing to answer. I should not share the information, but I guess it will not hurt me or my pay check.
Lemon: Of course not. Do go on, please.
Mr. Ticket: The N.L.F.F.A.O.N. provides me with an invisible paint brush every day. I paint everything except for my hands. I then am able to go about, doing my duty to society, and then go home and paint myself back to my normal blue color again.
Lemon: I would never have thought about doing that!
Mr. Ticket: You are lying.
Lemon: Yes, yes, I am.
Lemon and Lemon Productions thanks you all for taking the time to read this “Late Breaking” interview. The next time a mysterious man hands you a lottery ticket, be sure to thank him, and annoy him until he lets you know his true species.
This interview was brought to you by “The Tooth Faerie”
"Ridding you of your pesky teeth from the height of Faerieland."