The Comprehensive Guide to Superstition
It's all around us. Bad luck, good luck, karma - it all affects us. Forget science. You know it's true. It may be a little bit frightening, all that evilness. But, the good thing is, there's always the good to counteract it.
So how do you know what's good and what's bad? How can you keep your good luck and rid yourself of the curses you have brought upon you?
It's your lucky day. There just so happens to be a guide.
Bad luck. Sometimes, you just have a bad day. Nothing seems to go right and you're exhausted by the time the day is done. But, that might not necessarily be bad luck. You might just be having a down time. Even the luckiest people have a down day. And then there are those who are like walking bad luck attractors. You stay as far away from them as possible so it doesn't rub off on you. These ones with the constant gray cloud above their heads are the true sufferers of bad luck. Below are some ways they might have gotten that way and how you can avoid the trail of tears.
Should a Meowclops cross your path while you are out for a stroll can mean something terrible for you in your future. This is because black Meowclopses are actually witches (such as Edna) in disguise. Therefore, Meowclopses in their original color of black should be avoided at all costs. This is not to say that these adorable petpets cannot be owned. Having them painted in another color will ensure that no evil is dwelling there. So, unless you are all for the evil side, beware the black Meowclops.
To break a mirror means seven years of general bad luck. Seven years equals 84 months which equals 2,555 days which equals... a very long time. To reverse this unfortunate event, gather all the pieces (you will probably cut yourself because of your bad luck) and bury the pieces in the ground under a full moon. Your luck will then return to its original state.
Walking under a ladder is bad luck for more practical reasons. Chances are, something will go wrong if you do it. Normally, a ladder is put up for a reason. Should you bump the ladder, you may cause the person above you to fall or drop something that would almost definitely land on your head. Either way, you will feel terrible. To reverse your luck, walk back under the ladder the opposite way. Just don't bump the ladder again.
Who knew these adorable petpets could be so dastardly? Well, they're not, really. But, there are some rules about them. Owning one isn't bad luck and neither is looking at one. But should you see one romping about wild during the daytime or peering into your window, bad luck and evil will be bestowed upon you.
While you shouldn't cry over spilt milk, spill some salt and crying will be the least of your problems. Evil is attracted to spilt salt. Immediately after spilling it, grab a pinch and toss it over your shoulder (and into the eyes of the evil that lurks behind you). This should restore your good luck. However, spill salt and pepper and you are doomed.
Five Leaf Clover
Four leaf clovers are wonderful little things that can be kept forever to give you that extra boost of luck on those bad days. But, pluck the imposter five leaf clover and bad luck will follow you while it is in your possession. Burn it if you have plucked it and the evil will be no more. That's why they taught you how to count.
Umbrellas and parasols are extremely helpful during those sudden downpours or keeping the sun out of your eyes. But, never open one indoors because unfortunate events will follow you for a very long time if you do.
The Number 13
Ah, the infamous thirteen. No one really knows why it's so unlcuky. But, ignorance is not an exception. Stay away from anything to do with this number - thirteen floors, thirteen cookies, thirteen items in stock, the thirteenth day, you name it! If it's thirteen, it's bad news. On a special note, Friday the thirteenth is extremely unlucky. It's doubly unlucky. It's dastardly doubly extremely unlucky. Okay, I'm done. But, that aside, it's really bad. Do anything unlucky on this day (which you probably will because it's so unlucky) and you are DOOMED! Dr. Sloth was probably born on Friday the thirteenth...
As a universal law, everything has an opposite. Up and down (except on Kreludor), right and left, good and bad. Introducing the cheery, bright, and just better section of the guide: good luck! It is a simple list of how to help your luck and just have a better time!
A Uni shoe hung above the door of the Neohome will protect the household and prevent evil from entering. But it must be hung with the two ends pointing up; otherwise the luck will spill out and will do absolutely no good except be an unusual decoration.
Four Leaf Clover
Four leaf clovers are rare and you will probably never find one in your life. However, if you're lucky (heh) enough to find one, you will be rewarded with a lifetime of good fortune.
Lucky Green Boots
They're lucky. They're green. You wear them, life will be good. Enough said.
While not as potent as some other items, keeping an acorn around can boost your luck a bit or brighten one of those bad days. If it doesn't work, thinking it does can lift your spirits as well.
As a symbol of health, eating at least one a day can cause fortune to keep you healthy and out of the doctor's office. While any apple will work, red ones seem to work fastest and last the longest. But, stay away from bitten apples. You don't know where they've been.
While the Cybunny may not have been nearly as lucky, you can still gain from his misfortune. Cybunny feet have been known to bring about general good luck. They will also protect you from evil if you carry them around in your pocket.
Wishing upon the first star you see at night can be comforting and may even bring your wish to pass. But, it's not as likely as a shooting. If you glimpse a shooting star and wish upon it before it disappears in the night sky, your wish will come true. If you're with a group and you spot it, be sure to call the star as yours or someone might steal it from you. And, when you wish, do so in your head. If you speak your wish aloud, it won't come true.
Doing the things mentioned above will most certainly bring about good fortune. It's exciting, of course, and you'll want to tell all your friends. There's no problem with that at all... as long as you do so in a wooden house or in a forest. Speaking about good fortune can cause it to be reversed by the evil around you. Knocking on wood three times will prevent the evil.
Have some coins lying around? Do more for your luck by tossing them into the Wishing Well. Throw one in and silently think on the wish you'd like to come true. While it hasn't been proven to work every time, it sure is fun!
Now that you are no longer doomed to ignorance, you are ready to step back into the world. You are a new creature, ready to take on the challenges of life. You can step forward, knowing that you can accomplish all.
Dramatic, wasn't it?
But, at least you can go forth and conquer, knowing you can attain all the luck in the world.
Author's Note: None of these methods have been scientifically proven. So don't complain to me when your luck doesn't get any better. (: