The Legend of the Weewoo
Also by x_seabee_x
The Weewoo is a delightful creature, rather small, with hidden wings under its beautiful long feathers. They originated from Krawk Island long ago and are named after the haunting ‘weewoo’ sound that can be heard all over the island as the sun is setting each day.
We have all heard the phrase, “White Weewoos Don’t Exist!”, but how many people know where this phrase stemmed from? This article reveals the intriguing history of the Weewoo, and exposes shocking information about the true nature of Pirates.
Even today, the inhabitants of Krawk Island will try to deny the existence of these tiny animals. It has become a long standing joke with Neopets from other worlds; they know that Weewoos exist, and the joke about White Weewoos is in relation to the Pirate’s failed attempts to fool everyone else.
Pirates, as we all know, are sly, scheming individuals, and pets all over Neopia wonder why they still refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Weewoo. What have they to gain from this?
Today, my friends, we uncover a shocking revelation.
After following up on a tip-off from my Uncle’s puppyblew’s nephew’s squid, we tracked down a former Krawk Island inhabitant; a peg-legged Quadrapus named Kallie Marri, and sent our best reporter, Otter B. Alootary, to interview her.
Otter: Thank you for agreeing to see me today, Miss Marri.
Kallie Marri: Arr, no problem, tis time I told the story, but ye take out me name, won’t ye?
Otter: Uhh… sure… so anyway, tell me all you know about the history of the Weewoo.
Kallie Marri: Arrr, it be laahnng ago when me wahs -
Otter: Waaaiiit a minute! Do you mind if we set up the pirate filter? I can’t understand a word you are arring.
Kallie Marri: Aye, go ahead.
Otter: Okay, as you were saying…
Kallie Marri: Well, I used to live on Krawk Island, owned by a scurvy pirate named Grimtooth…
Otter: The famous Bilge Dice player?!
Kallie: Yes, but he wasn’t a very good owner. He would leave me to roam the Island by day, and make me sleep under piles of timber at night. This happened for years, until one night, I heard a strange muttering. It was a gathering of Pirates, and huddles of Weewoos. They had called a meeting, behind the Gourmet Food Club, to discuss their future war tactics. I wondered why the Weewoos were even there… I mean, what would a feathery petpet know about plotting a war? But, as I continued to listen in, I realized how dastardly the lil' birds could be. They had a complex spy network that was slowly picking off the strongest pets in Neopia, in hopes that when they decided to strike, the whole world would be left defenseless.
Otter: Wow, I can’t imagine cute little Weewoos being so calculating.
Kallie: Well, if you’d stop interrupting, I’d explain more!
Kallie: So, on with the story… yes they were –
Otter: My uncle had a Weewoo once. A lovely little friend, not a bad word could be said about him…
Kallie: Are you listening to me?!
Otter: Yes, yes of course! Erm, so, wow! You're telling me that the weewoos were responsible for the Year 2 disappearance of Coltzan, Pacha, and the other legendary Neopian heroes???
Kallie: That is not all! They are responsible for the training of some of the most notorious criminals. Even Boochi trained under their watchful eye.
Otter: Wow! Do you know of any casualties on their side?
Kallie: Not anything major but there was one "loss".
Kallie: Captain Threelegs, or as he was known before, Joe. He was trying to hand Pacha his food tray one morning and in a bizarre turn of events, the banana fell and Pacha tripped on it. As he fell, his tusk severed Joe's right forearm. He was always complaining about it at the meetings. He told outsiders some heroic story about him fighting a Krawk. But enough gossiping, let me tell the story.
Otter: Yes, before we go off track… you know speaking of tracks, have you heard the new track by M*YNCI. It is called something like "I'm not a Monkey." *sings* Baby, when you finally take a good look at me, you'll realize I'm not a monkey!
Kallie: *clears throat*
Otter: Sorry... you were saying?
Kallie: Anyways, each week, the Pirates and Weewoos met up to discuss their plans. The Weewoos were a crucial part in the Pirates’ plot to take over Neopia. Nobody suspected the tiny creatures, as they sneaked around the Neopets from other worlds, taking note of anything said about war tactics. The White Weewoo was used to spy on Terror Mountain, because their white feathers would blend into the snow, camouflaging them completely. The Yellow Weewoos hid in the sand of the Lost Desert, Robot Weewoos on Virtupets, and so on. They reported their findings week by week, and the Pirate Army grew wise and strong. After months of planning, I overheard them discussing defense methods. Someone from Mystery Island had gained information that the Pirates were plotting the takeover, and the other Worlds planned to attack first. But the Pirates had prepared for this. The Weewoos were to stand guard on trees and under the sand dunes of Krawk Island, and alert the Pirates when they arrived.
Otter: I never heard anything about this!
Kallie: Well, that’s where I came in. I grew tired of the Pirate life. Being a Quadrapus, I was always being drooled over by Gourmet Club Pirates that wanted to eat me. How do you think I lost this tentacle? I was asleep when it happened – one quick swoosh of a Pirate’s blade and my limb was made into a Calamari Pita Wrap!
Otter: But you do look rather dashing with a peg-tentacle…
Kallie: That’s not the point! I was fed up with being pushed around, and I wanted to teach those mangy Pirates a lesson. So… I swam as fast as I could, which isn’t very fast at all when your wooden-tentacle keeps afloat the whole time. I swam to Maraqua, where I told King Kelpbeard everything I knew. He called an emergency meeting with the rulers and spokespets of other worlds. Edna the Zafara, as evil as she may seem, wanted to help. She had an excess amount of woowoo grubs in her ingredients cupboard, and knew that the weewoos were partial to the taste of the ugly green maggots. I was given a bag full of the grubs, and sent back to Krawk Island to lure the Weewoos from their hiding places. I left a trail of grubs leading from the trees, onto the beach and around a cove where boats were waiting to ship the Weewoos away. And there I was at the end... the final bait. Only I wasn't on the menu that day!
Otter: Wow, you really betrayed those Pirates, didn’t you? As a self-proclaimed stool pteri, do you feel any remorse...
Kallie: Don't write that in the interview!
Otter: What? Oh... sure kid, I’ll leave it out.
Kallie: Back to the story… the Pirates’ defenses were broken, and they were summoned to a meeting at the top of Terror Mountain. We had the Weewoos in our control – it turned out that Weewoos go wherever their food is. They loved living with Maraquans, Mystery Islanders, anyone that would feed and look after them. Of course, we are still weary over the Pirate’s plan to lure them back on side, but for now, I think we’re okay.
Otter: What’s in the future for you, Miss Marri?
Kallie: Well, I have heard about your flaws in dealing with anonymity, knowing full well that you will print my name and where I live, so I have arranged for the Petpet Protection League to meet me. They should be here any moment, in fact. They will give me a new name, new home, and a new life. Away from Pirates, I hope.
Otter: Thank you for letting me interview you, I’m sure our readers will be amazed with your story, and maybe a little more wary when meeting a Pirate, or one of those crafty Weewoos.
My readers can now see the truth behind the Pirates’ fascinations with the feathery petpet.
Thank you to all for reading this article, and I do hope that it helped clear up some of the mysteries of this elusive Weewoo.
Oh, and before I forget… this article is dedicated to Miss Kalli Marri, who, as the interview ended, was snatched by a Weewoo who flew off into the air and devoured her. May she forever rest in peace.