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Lavalilly's Guide to Success

by czenko28


Look guys, I’ll get straight to the point. I’m here to show you how to make your life as a Neopian the most successful it can be. It’s a hard world out there, and I’m sure that most of you peasants looked at Czenko28’s lookup, saw her beautiful Faerie Pteri, and thought to yourself, “I totally want to be just like her.” I don’t see who wouldn’t want to be like me. I want to be generous to you guys, so that’s why I made this lovely article just for you. A silly Island Kougra isn’t the only pet in my family that can write around here (of course I had to have help from Czenko to edit this thing, but that’s not the point!).

The first step is simple.

What is considered a successful Neopian life?

Some may tell you that it depends on each Neopian, but I’m going to tell you now that that opinion is absolutely bogus. A successful life is having a life that you’re happy with. That, and other people need to be envious of it. If people look up to you and wish they can be like you, then your life is definitely successful. Looking good is even more important than feeling good.

To make things more clear, here is a Lavalilly math lesson.

Happy + Cool = Successful

Happy + Totally uncool = Unsuccessful

Unhappy + Cool + Rich = Successful

It makes sense, doesn’t it? As long as you look successful, you are successful. The happiness factor comes second. A good attitude is what makes you look good sometimes, so being happy can take part in the coolness factor. It’s still very important.

How do I get to look as cool as you, Lavalilly?

To boost your coolness factor, you need to have the look. If you are not a painted pet or you’re painted a very dull color, you need to do whatever you can to get yourself a new coat of paint. It is one of the most important things you can do.

Picking a color isn’t as easy as picking out a paint brush that looks pretty. It is much more complicated than that. Go to the Rainbow Pool and look at all of your color options. Paint color is even more important than makeup. It reflects who you are. Your personality needs to complement the color of your choice. If you pick Darigan, but your favorite hobby is playing with Usuki dolls, try again. Darigan and Usuki doll playing do not match. It’ll make you look even more lame than if you were painted just a primary color.

An example of a good color choice would be mine. I am fun, exciting, smart, and an all around successful person. A high soaring, colorful Faerie Pteri works for me perfectly.

To make this a little simpler, here is some more math for you:

Island + An Adventurer = Good match

Faerie + Battledomer = Bad match

Ghost + Scare Seeker = Good match

If your color fits the kind of person you are, you wouldn’t risk people think you are weird or teasing you in anyway. Sometimes a change of species might be good too. If you’re a Kau that’s afraid of the moon, you better change yourself into a Werelupe quick to avoid getting mocked.

What? You want a math lessons on species too? Come on! Who do you think I am? A math wiz? Seriously. I try to be nice and write this article for you guys, and all you want is more.

I have the look, but why am I not popular?

Having the look is only step one to getting your popularity. The next step is much harder. If you’re a super awesome Royal Kougra that stays in your house all day, do you really think you’re going to be popular? The best way to make you popular is to make your appearance at places and let your colorful personality shine. Attend concerts and brag about them. Enter beauty contests and advertise everywhere you can. Join a popular guild and work your way to the top. There are plenty of things to get yourself known. Draw a comic or write a story or article. Find a creative talent and find a way to show Neopia. Surely you would get noticed and people would grow to like you for who you are. The more you expose yourself to the world, the more people would recognize you and want to be around you.

With the color you have, it will make yourself seem rich, even if you’re not, so it might be better to give yourself a very nice, more expensive color for yourself while you strut all over Neopia, seeking the attention of others.

Once you have the attention and the personality with the look to go with it, soon enough people would be envious of you for your life, and bam! You’re one successful person. People will look at you and smile. They would say, “I wish I was as bold as you.” Or “If I had a coat like yours, I would be the happiest Neopian on Neopia.” If you know how to make yourself shine, people will recognize that and want it for themselves, but they didn’t read my article, did they? So it’s only fair that they miss out.

But what if I have a problem, like not enough money?

I’m going to share a little secret with you guys, but don’t think any less of me, okay? I’m a pretty broke person. Right now in my owner’s bank I have less than 100K. Do you ever wonder how in the world my owner managed to morph me into a Faerie Pteri? It was from contests. I won’t be specific as to what special event it was, but sometimes you can get very lucky and get very expensive prizes for what you do. It earns you a roll of cash and some popularity along with it, which makes your Neopian life successful. Saving, entering contests, and not giving up are the best ways to earn you the money for your dream paint brush. My owner said herself, when she saw what a Faerie Pteri looked like, she decided then that no matter what it took, she was going to get me to be one of those Faerie Pteris. So sweet.

If people say my personality is dull, is there no hope for me?

Not necessarily. If you’re generally a dull person, then your only hope is to make yourself rich. If you can get yourself a whole lot of money and pay people to like you, then you’re well off. There’s the possibility, though, that your friends might be pretty crummy ones that only want money from you. It takes skill if you’re a boring person, but it’s possible to do. You can also try to buy yourself a new personality. That might help. Changing your species and color can help even the most useless pets.

What’s the key to happiness?

You know what? I want to be done with all of these questions. Why did I have to make a layout before writing this thing with all of these lame-o questions? There are times when I just want to take this paper, crumple it up, and throw it away and never show the people in the world how to be as successful as me.

Oh. Sorry. I have to focus. You see, there are three factors to happiness.

The first one is being cared for and to care. If there are plenty of loving people around you that you care about, then you’re one third of the way to being a very happy person.

You also need the feeling that you are contributing to the Neopet society we live in. If you don’t feel like your helping or changing the world, then you might feel a bit useless or pointless to have around. To prevent that, it’s good to work, help, or change Neopia in some other method.

The very last thing is creative outlet. Doing things that you like to do, something you have a passion for. Whether it be miniature golf or drawing comics, it’s something that you enjoy for yourself.

If you have all of these things and are still not happy, then you probably have a problem.

Do you know when you’re going to end this article, oh great Lavalilly?

I thought you’d never ask. I was getting sick of this. Did I tell you I’m not much of a writer, because I’m really not. So what’s next? A conclusion? Okay. I think I can manage that. Here goes.

Congratulations for being one of the lucky people that came across this very valuable article. It is a very special find, and I do hope that because of me, others would be envious and would want your very successful life to-be. It was a pleasure writing this article for now maybe some of you people that didn’t know about me before would recognize me and be even more envious.

Oh... wait. Did I seriously say that aloud? Oh gosh, I really got to go now. Bye! Hope you liked the article!

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