The Official Guide to Potatoes

The Official Guide to Potatoes starts with one simple step; how to read and understand the content of the guide. It is quite simple, really. All you have to do is read, and, well, understand. I guess there is no need for this section of the guide after all.

The idea for this guide came from Oliver, a close friend and potato expert. Very recently, he was mashed and cooked for dinner, hence the inspiration of this guide. In honor of Oliver, the loved and very dear Potato, I have included a section on potato care, or in other words, caring for Your Potato. Have a pet who wants a potato as a petpet? Well, there is not a potato petpet right now, but if we hope and believe, anything can happen.

We, Oliver’s close potato-relative, Betty (who is a beet), and I, hope you enjoy this guide and from now on respect those potatoes you devour so quickly without thought. All potatoes, as well as all our foods, deserve a time in their lives to be special. That is another reason for this guide; to enlighten your potato knowledge and make you love those tuber-plants many Neopians look down upon. Enjoy, and remember to make all beings feel special forever on.

1. Potato Origins

Potatoes originated in Meridell and have been growing even before Year 1! There have been many petrified tuber-plants found in the remains of old cottages, farmhouses, and even the remains of the first Meridell Castle. More than sixty-three percent of those plants were potatoes.

Paintings from as early as Year 10 B.N. (Ten Years before Neopets) show Royal beings wearing garlands of potato leaves around their necks. These paintings were found in the hidden Treasury of the now buried Castle of Meridell, as well as many records stating the long lost history of the potato.

These statements reported Potato Thefts, those who were criticized and banished for this illegal theft, how many Meridell Citizens were punished for vandalizing potato farms, shops, and those who farmed potatoes. We also found many scrolls and books containing potato information in the Brightvale Castle Library, as well as in some scrolls from Fyora’s Library in Faerieland.

In the early stages of Meridell, potatoes were thought to be too terrible to be eaten by pets and their owners, and were only fed to the petpet Snorkles of the Royal family. Then, in the mid-century proceeding from this time, Potatoes were no longer fed to Snorkles but guarded by the Royal Army of Meridell.

At this time, they were known as sacred and were highly expensive in merchant shops and even more expensive in town markets, where finding a single potato for sale came as a very rare occasion.

We also read all of the Meridell Records and Potato themed books and documentaries, as well as the contracts Meridell has for becoming a potato farmer, but still have no evidence of how long the potatoes have been on Neopia, nor how they got on Kreludor. What we do know is that for many centuries Neopians have been eating, baking, mashing, squashing, tasting, licking, smelling, bagging, sniffing, throwing, counting, selling, buying, trading, auctioning, planting, kicking, stubbing their toes on, digging up, burying, sticking little plastic figures into, enchanting, talking to, purchasing, dismantling, and many more means of action to or with potatoes.

Potatoes are a big part of life in Meridell. They are honored by kings like they do their gold, they are loved by those poor and wealthy, and they are nutritious and healthy for any Neopet.

As stated above, potatoes have been around since long before what we now know as Year 1, and without them, Neopia would change dramatically, and it would all be from the loss of a little, underground tuber-plant.

2. Potatoes in the Present

Nowadays, potatoes are not sacred nor very popular. They are mainly mashed or counted, and do not have a tendency to feel special. Yet, somehow, there are many potato items and even a few Potato articles in the Neopedia.

The Neopedia Articles are about the Battle Potato and Potato Counter. They are very simply based and are not very popular articles. Visit the Neopedia to read them by searching for ‘potato’ in the Neopedia search engine.

There are also a few potato games; Potato Counter and Extreme Potato Counter.

Potato Counter is a game run by Alton Moughbry, age 20, who is a member of the Kacheek species. When he is not counting potatoes, he likes to watch the grass grow and paint. Not only is he a simple person, but his game is just the same. It consists of a bag of potatoes laid flat. You count those potatoes, and when you are done, you type the number of potatoes you counted in the little box below the potatoes. The object of the game is to guess how many potatoes there are as quick as possible. Watch out, though! Alton likes to trick newbies by making it seem like there are more potatoes than there really are.

A Wocky whose name is still unknown to Neopia runs extreme Potato Counter. His game consists of a game page with potatoes that fly across the screen. The object of the game is to go through the levels, counting the flying potatoes as they cross, and guessing how many went past at the end of each level. If you guess correctly, you will move on. If you do not, you have to either start over or send in your score in return for some shiny neopoints you can use to purchase items.

All of these games are found in Meri Acres Farm in Meridell, which is the current Potato Capital of Neopia. Here, many farmers grow potatoes, and some only grow potatoes and none other crops.

In order to become a Meridell Farmer, you must fill out and sign the Standard Meridell Farmers Contract, turn it in to the Meridell offices of Agriculture (located East of the Meridell Castle and near Illusen’s Glade), then wait at least three business days to receive permission to become a farmer. Then you must purchase farm equipment, seeds, and other farmer-related supplies in order to take care of your farm and grow food and crops. Then you need land before you can finally farm anything. This is one of the main reasons so few Neopians farm potatoes or know how hard Neopians work to bring us many of the foods we eat.

Another major area of Present potato life is Tato-Tato. Tato-Tato is a disease that no Neopets can catch unless they want to. It is not an official disease, and this is because the only symptoms are singing random potato songs and being addicted to potatoes in general.

Many Neopians have fallen under the Tato-Tato sickness from reading the word potato for too long (which may happen if you read this guide 100 times fast) or for having an insane love of these little tuber-plants.

Do not worry, though. The disease only lasts for as long as you are addicted to potatoes and can wear off quite quickly, depending on who you are.

All of the known cures are as follows; forgetting your love of potatoes, becoming un-addicted to them, or going ten years completely avoiding potatoes and related items. This guide probably will not help if you have a bad case of Tato-Tato.

Other facts and information of the present history of potatoes can be found all over Neopia and throughout the site.

3. Potato Items

There are many potato themed items in Neopia, most of them from Meridell, but others can be found elsewhere. Some potatoes, such as the Mutando Jacket Potato, can be found on Kreludor. Some of the more popular ways of gaining potatoes is through the Trading Post, User Shops, and the Auction House. It is also rumored that users have gotten potatoes through random events, though we have not proven this true.

Below is a list of some of the more popular potato items, though we are not able to list them all, but we hope you can find the items and information that you need.

Name: Standard Meridell Farmers Contract

Weight: 1 lbs.

Rarity: 6

Estimated Value: 732 NP

This contract is one needed to become an official farmer of Meridell. More on the Contract has been mentioned above.

Name: Mouldy Potato

Weight: 1 lbs.

Rarity: 47

Estimated Value: 59 NP

This potato may look disgusting, but it is delicious! This is what happens to those potatoes that are not eaten soon enough. It is good to love potatoes and keep them safe, but if you can eat them before they reach this stage, it may be better for the potato.

Name: Counting Potatoes

Weight: 1 lbs.

Rarity: 64

Estimated Value: 533 NP

This book contains all that you need to know about potato counting: how the game originated, what has changed since it was first played, and even tips on both Extreme Potato Counter and the traditional Potato Counter.

Name: Mashed Potato with Gravy

Weight: 1 lbs.

Rarity: 60

Estimated Value: 120 NP

This is the most common of all potatoes. It is found in most, if not all Newbie Packs. This may be the most common, but it is not necessarily the cheapest.

Name: Battle Potato

Weight: 1 lbs.

Rarity: 101

Estimated Value: 5-6,000,000 NP

This is the most expensive potato, as it is also the rarest. It is a Battledome item that can only be used once. A long way back in time there were many of this item, but since it was so popular and easy to find, Battledomers used it so much that now there are very few of them left and are considered collectors items.

Other potato items can be found be searching ‘potato’, ‘Meridell’ and other related words in the Neopets search engine.

4. Potato Care

While my dear friend Oliver still existed on Neopia, he expressed to me his love for his kind and every little aspect of his life. He told me how to improve my potato care, what he wanted to do for the potato economy, and I enjoyed listening and helping him achieve his dreams.

In this section of the guide, I will tell all of those reading about how best to care for a potato from what Oliver has said in the past. While reading, do not forget that, as owners and pets, potatoes have different views and opinions. Talk for a while with your potato discussing how he or she wishes to be treated, how he/she wishes to be handled and cared for, and anything else you think appropriate.

1. Choosing the Potato That’s Right for you

All potatoes are different. Just like choosing your pet or petpet, you need to think 'Is this pet going to enjoy living where I do? Do I have the right living space for it? Do I have enough room in my Neohome to own this pet/petpet?' and all the other questions you would usually ask yourself when making this kind of choose.

If you have a small Neohome, it would probably be best if you buy a small potato. If you live in a larger Neohome, you can purchase bigger potatoes.

Potatoes come in a range of sizes; from itty-bitty to really big, that is a decision you need to think about for a while with your pets before finally picking a potato to purchase.

2. Potato Living Space

Some potatoes need more living space then others. Just like pets, they have their own opinions and want different things. Most potatoes will only need a few square feet in each room to reside, but depending on the size of potato you purchase you may need more or less room.

Oliver, for example, did not like having too much room, but given too little he would start feeling claustrophobic, or cramped. While the family went out for country walks, he enjoyed being held in a small, cloth pouch I fashioned out of the potato sack he was delivered to me in. The pouch was just big enough he could snuggle in to warm himself, but at the same time small enough for him to not see out into the world.

Whatever your potato prefers, talk about the decisions as a family with the potato you decide to purchase.

3. Potato Grooming/Feeding

As stated above many times, all potatoes are different. Some are girly and like wearing bows and jewelry, while others hate having all the extra weight to carry around with them. This is another major topic to discuss as a family with the potato you purchase, and maybe even before purchasing.

For those girly tuber-plants, you can apply bows and jewelry by gluing a toothpick to the item and putting the toothpick into the potato’s body. It will not hurt the potato, yet it may snap the toothpick while applying and removing. As stated, some dislike having all the extra weight to carry around.

When feeding your potato all that is necessary is some dirt, leaves, fertilizer, and all that you would need to grow a potato while it is being farmed.

Most potatoes dislike drinking water, and prefer to not drink at all. It creates ‘eyes’ on their skin, which sprout and grow from their bodies. Yet, some potatoes enjoy having roots extend from their structure; it all depends on the potato.

4. A Potato Farewell

Now that we have explored the world of potatoes, learned the history, care, and variables in each potato, it is time to say farewell. I thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to read this guide. I hope you will now be more grateful to potatoes and all that they bring us.

As we conclude our guide, I would like to thank the following people for helping me gather information that I used throughout my article; My Mom, for letting me have Oliver, who was a very dear friend and without him this guide would probably never be; My school teacher, who let us watch a video on plants during class, from which I learned many of the facts on potatoes stated throughout the guide; and to my friends and family, for laughing at my silly ideas on potatoes but supporting me all the way. Every one of you makes all the difference.

Lastly, I would like to thank all of those who read the guide. You really support me just for the knowledge I am not alone and others do enjoy potatoes just as much as I do. Thank you.