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Super and Attacking Interview with a Pea


by zewq

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Welcome to a special edition of Q's (special more cooler than your) super, super, special, awesome interviews from the unknown! Why's it special? Because this one will last 8 hours! So, what's on tonight's show, you ask? From the hit comic, Pea Brains, please welcome, Mr. Super Attack Pea!

SUAP: Pea pea pea. Pea-pea pea, pea.

Translation: Thank you, Doctor Q. I'm really welcomed to be on your awesome and riffic show.

Q: Awesome and riffic it is. Last night, you mentioned to me you were 'pea-ing to pea'. Why is this?

SUAP: Pea, pea. Pea pea pea.

Translation: Pea.

Q: That's interesting, yes it is.

SUAP: Pea pea.

Translation: Thank you, you nimwit.

Q: I'm sorry, but right now is not the namecalling segment of this fantastic program. You will have to wait for the sixth minute.

SUAP: I hate you politicians.

Translation: Pea.

Q: Aha! I knew you could speak Shenkuunese!

SUAP: Pea, you idiot. What's my favorite color?

Translation: One, two, three.

Q: Translator, stop it! And I ask the questions! But I guess I can answer this one. Let's see. It's green and you have to eat it!

SUAP: Tough one, Q. But I think I can give a crack at it. Let me see... Balthazar, Eliv Thade, Super Crazy Adam, Ryshu. Man, I'm stuck.

Q: Did you say Super Attack Pea?

SUAP: Oh, how could I be so stupid?! Duh, Super Attack Pea is my answer.

-- CUT #1 --

Q: Do you have a nickname you'd like to go by?

SUAP: Pea.

Q: What? I thought you didn't speak pea anymore! Translator!

Translator: No.

Q: His name is No? Thank you. No, how did you get your nickname? From this translator?

SUAP: No, my nickname is Pea.

Q: Stop it! Just speak 1 language only! Translator, translate!

Translator: No.

Q: Oh yeah, the Meepits got into your system during the break. *Mwahaha* So, I've heard you would be in a movie called The Peas of the West. Am I right?

SUAP: Right. Oh, and don't forget what it's about! I play this guy, his name's Brendan, and he lives in Shenkuu. Seriously, what kind of Scorchio lives in Shenkuu?

Q: Wow, a Scorchio living in Shenkuu? That must be crazy!

SUAP: *gets out hammer* Yeah. So Brendan's supposed to go find all of these killer peas in six days. It seems boring, but it gets interesting near the end.

Q: Nice. So are you going to tell anyone of us how it ends?

SUAP: Sure, but you have to stick your hand out right there.

Q: But why- OW!

Bob: Break time, Mr. Q?

Q: No, not until I get my revenge! Hm, how about random topics. Let's start with random topic #41. Socks. What is your opinion on socks?

SUAP: Socks. They smell great and they always provide me a good hiding place, even though they always find me. Grr. Well, I am always looking for clean socks every morning, and sometimes they are missing. Ever since I got that new petpet! Curses, you Darblat! You may be new, but you have no chance in hand combat against me!

Q: *clap* I rate that a 9.

SUAP: Out of 10? Yay.

Q: Uh, well, supposed to be out of 1000, then 100, but yeah, I guess 10 is fine. Oh yeah, if any one of you guys were wondering why I tore down this whole wall, check that out over there! The Lab Ray,

Use it to zap away all of your Neopets' problems!

Whatever it may be, dumb Shoyru, crazy Lenny, go do it!

(Warning: Could turn your pet into a three-headed Aisha obsessed with Sloth cookies)

Now available in 4 DIFFERENT COLORS!!

SUAP: Hehe, that was probably the best billboard I have ever seen in my life! Ever! Eva!

Q: Eva? Oh, Eva Jackson, that Ogrin who was on my show last week that hated the Kaus. Ahem, let's go on to... Meepits!

SUAP: Who said the Meepits?! Was it you? Or was it you?!

Q: Meepits.

SUAP: Oh, Feepits. Well, funny story, heh. I was playing Meepit vs. Feepit the other day, and a Feepit came along by me. So I went ahead and bit his tail off! Tasted nice, actually.

Q: Meepits.

SUAP: No, not the Meepits! You know... I always get that feeling someone's watching over me, whether it's from the inside or the outside. Shiver, shiver in fear...

Q: Wow, me too. Oh, in fact, our super cool dude who does the stuff, Bob, has a Meepit! He tortures it all the time, though.

SUAP: Torture it? Shouldn't you just eat it raw? Well, you can go ahead and spin it over the fire, but maybe we're getting to gross for the audience.

Q: Audience, say the pea is very smart, but not as smart as Q! *in girly voice* The pea knows nothing, Q knows everything!

SUAP: Actually, we don't have an audience.

Q: Okay, Mr. Pea. Why don't you allow me to ask the questions? What's your Battledome record?

SUAP: Tons of wins. Only a bit of losses, maybe a thousand or so. Most of them came from that Snowager! Arg, well, at least I was able to steal from him tons of times, and he always missed when he tried to blast me!

Q: What do you say your toughest battle was?

SUAP: The Inflatable Balthazar is so challenging! It always denies my pea powers! Every pea blow it takes, it just stands there taunting me!

Q: Have you ever fought the real Balthazar?

SUAP: Yeah, beating him is a piece of paper. I'm glad my intimidation really gets on his nerves. Every time I fight him, he starts running around in circles beating himself up! I try to do the same, but by the time I get to one hit point, he already knocks himself out! How cheap!

Q: So, are you interested in the Altador Cup?

SUAP: Yes.

Q: Are you interested in the Altador Cup II? See, there's two 'i's after it, it's got to be interesting!

SUAP: Yes.

Q: Who's your favorite player? Huh? Huh? Huh?!?

SUAP: I like Bonju.

Q: And what team does Bonju play for?

SUAP: How should I know? Eh, Maraqua.

Q: Is Maraqua good?

SUAP: Maybe.

Q: Hm, what do you like about Chokatos, and what's your favorite flavor?

SUAP: Raspberry and Raspberry.

Q: *runs into wall*

SUAP: I think that means the interview is over, right? Yes!

Author's note: Special thanks to dekucorey for some help with this interview.

 
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