Super and Attacking Interview with a Pea
Welcome to a special edition of Q's (special more cooler than your) super, super, special, awesome interviews from the unknown! Why's it special? Because this one will last 8 hours! So, what's on tonight's show, you ask? From the hit comic, Pea Brains, please welcome, Mr. Super Attack Pea!
SUAP: Pea pea pea. Pea-pea pea, pea.
Translation: Thank you, Doctor Q. I'm really welcomed to be on your awesome and riffic show.
Q: Awesome and riffic it is. Last night, you mentioned to me you were 'pea-ing to pea'. Why is this?
SUAP: Pea, pea. Pea pea pea.
Q: That's interesting, yes it is.
SUAP: Pea pea.
Translation: Thank you, you nimwit.
Q: I'm sorry, but right now is not the namecalling segment of this fantastic program. You will have to wait for the sixth minute.
SUAP: I hate you politicians.
Q: Aha! I knew you could speak Shenkuunese!
SUAP: Pea, you idiot. What's my favorite color?
Translation: One, two, three.
Q: Translator, stop it! And I ask the questions! But I guess I can answer this one. Let's see. It's green and you have to eat it!
SUAP: Tough one, Q. But I think I can give a crack at it. Let me see... Balthazar, Eliv Thade, Super Crazy Adam, Ryshu. Man, I'm stuck.
Q: Did you say Super Attack Pea?
SUAP: Oh, how could I be so stupid?! Duh, Super Attack Pea is my answer.
-- CUT #1 --
Q: Do you have a nickname you'd like to go by?
Q: What? I thought you didn't speak pea anymore! Translator!
Q: His name is No? Thank you. No, how did you get your nickname? From this translator?
SUAP: No, my nickname is Pea.
Q: Stop it! Just speak 1 language only! Translator, translate!
Q: Oh yeah, the Meepits got into your system during the break. *Mwahaha* So, I've heard you would be in a movie called The Peas of the West. Am I right?
SUAP: Right. Oh, and don't forget what it's about! I play this guy, his name's Brendan, and he lives in Shenkuu. Seriously, what kind of Scorchio lives in Shenkuu?
Q: Wow, a Scorchio living in Shenkuu? That must be crazy!
SUAP: *gets out hammer* Yeah. So Brendan's supposed to go find all of these killer peas in six days. It seems boring, but it gets interesting near the end.
Q: Nice. So are you going to tell anyone of us how it ends?
SUAP: Sure, but you have to stick your hand out right there.
Q: But why- OW!
Bob: Break time, Mr. Q?
Q: No, not until I get my revenge! Hm, how about random topics. Let's start with random topic #41. Socks. What is your opinion on socks?
SUAP: Socks. They smell great and they always provide me a good hiding place, even though they always find me. Grr. Well, I am always looking for clean socks every morning, and sometimes they are missing. Ever since I got that new petpet! Curses, you Darblat! You may be new, but you have no chance in hand combat against me!
Q: *clap* I rate that a 9.
SUAP: Out of 10? Yay.
Q: Uh, well, supposed to be out of 1000, then 100, but yeah, I guess 10 is fine. Oh yeah, if any one of you guys were wondering why I tore down this whole wall, check that out over there!
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Whatever it may be, dumb Shoyru, crazy Lenny, go do it!
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SUAP: Hehe, that was probably the best billboard I have ever seen in my life! Ever! Eva!
Q: Eva? Oh, Eva Jackson, that Ogrin who was on my show last week that hated the Kaus. Ahem, let's go on to... Meepits!
SUAP: Who said the Meepits?! Was it you? Or was it you?!
SUAP: Oh, Feepits. Well, funny story, heh. I was playing Meepit vs. Feepit the other day, and a Feepit came along by me. So I went ahead and bit his tail off! Tasted nice, actually.
SUAP: No, not the Meepits! You know... I always get that feeling someone's watching over me, whether it's from the inside or the outside. Shiver, shiver in fear...
Q: Wow, me too. Oh, in fact, our super cool dude who does the stuff, Bob, has a Meepit! He tortures it all the time, though.
SUAP: Torture it? Shouldn't you just eat it raw? Well, you can go ahead and spin it over the fire, but maybe we're getting to gross for the audience.
Q: Audience, say the pea is very smart, but not as smart as Q! *in girly voice* The pea knows nothing, Q knows everything!
SUAP: Actually, we don't have an audience.
Q: Okay, Mr. Pea. Why don't you allow me to ask the questions? What's your Battledome record?
SUAP: Tons of wins. Only a bit of losses, maybe a thousand or so. Most of them came from that Snowager! Arg, well, at least I was able to steal from him tons of times, and he always missed when he tried to blast me!
Q: What do you say your toughest battle was?
SUAP: The Inflatable Balthazar is so challenging! It always denies my pea powers! Every pea blow it takes, it just stands there taunting me!
Q: Have you ever fought the real Balthazar?
SUAP: Yeah, beating him is a piece of paper. I'm glad my intimidation really gets on his nerves. Every time I fight him, he starts running around in circles beating himself up! I try to do the same, but by the time I get to one hit point, he already knocks himself out! How cheap!
Q: So, are you interested in the Altador Cup?
Q: Are you interested in the Altador Cup II? See, there's two 'i's after it, it's got to be interesting!
Q: Who's your favorite player? Huh? Huh? Huh?!?
SUAP: I like Bonju.
Q: And what team does Bonju play for?
SUAP: How should I know? Eh, Maraqua.
Q: Is Maraqua good?
Q: Hm, what do you like about Chokatos, and what's your favorite flavor?
SUAP: Raspberry and Raspberry.
Q: *runs into wall*
SUAP: I think that means the interview is over, right? Yes!
Author's note: Special thanks to dekucorey for some help with this interview.