A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 177,384,914 Issue: 313 | 12th day of Collecting, Y9
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who are you my friend of many influences

by blackcairn


there is no effect to which it is known the enjoyment of a friend who speaks without punctuation incorrectly placed or otherwise and as such without runon sentences in even the smallest microtick of a zytch or capitalization to demarcate such a thing is as hardly understandable as a friend who ends each sentence with a conjunctive adverb moreover

     In a difference, it cannot be told, in writing, whether it was supposedly an inferred adverb or an inferred ambiguity between the adverb and the conjunctive adverb as it conjoins an unverbalized trailing thought, but that would imply that it was a conjunctive adverb without a duty. I digress, nonetheless. In a way that I did not intend, I did create a run-on, as it would be called, and as such, I apologize, but I excessively dislike, and this is only parenthetically true, the excessive use of commas. If you are lost, then this is the exact point that I bring to light, because as it were, there is no effect to which...; therefore! I must begin somewhere in the very least, however irrelevant it may be. I shall try to be less wordy and recapitulate or regale to you the accounts of which I had the privilege to witness, or participate in, rather, firsthand. It pains me to be pithy, so I refuse brevity and shall go for, in its stead, a more subtle tacitness of which I hope to recount the events accurately, regardless of how tautologous it may be. To be fair, I shall also have its half-accomplice, semicolon, recuse itself because it believes it must have the hyphen after the ‘i’ and before the ‘c’. To that, I say “’I’ before ‘E’ except after ‘C’.”

     It is inevitable to miss someone who goes away for a short while as much as, if not more than, someone who leaves forever. Maybe it's easier when someone goes away forever because you know that they will never come back, but even so, we miss them before they leave and long after they are gone. Time may pass and the lack and loss may fade from the conscious and the smile return. Yet, in the slightest moment when the wind catches your ear, you turn around and look for someone who is not there. The smile fades and the loss returns firstly, then realization that you have not been thinking about them, fearing that you have forgotten. In a quiet reverie, you shed a tear only the ground will catch and smile bittersweet to the world that will never see. But what do I know of loss? I have never experienced it firsthand and only through my friend who never went away. My friend should know of it many times more than I would. Yet, my words, however few they may be, gave a pillow of comfort to rest her head upon. Perhaps it is because she knows that I will never leave unless she wanted it so.

     The day was long and stretching to the horizon East and West, thinning colors North and South, early up and late down. A pervasive pale blue washed the waking hours of the day of the atmospheric dust and clouds. Dew was light and the morning fog had already moved on, leaving the air a little dry and parching. Trees afforded shade and a band of lollygagging flightning bugs for menial entertainment needs. She was sitting under the acorn tree when she called me to her. In reality, I found her under her bed because I happened to be about at a convenient time. She called her bed “The Acorn Tree” and her room “The Acorn Tree Forest” even though she was a Xweetok and not an Usul. I explained to her once that they were oaks and not acorn trees, but she said acorn trees are more poetic. Of course, I have never personally listened to an oak tree and an acorn tree, but I do see the difference as whether or not it is bearing acorns at the instant, which makes much more sense in retrospect.

     I asked her, “Why are you hiding under your bed?”

     “My sister is going away for the summer with her friends,” she said. Her golden eyes were the sort that wrenched your heart when they were shimmery with tears.

     “You don’t have to be sad. She’s not gone yet,” I said.

     She replied, “But she’s going to be!” She grabbed a baby xweetok plushie that had been hiding under the bed with her.

     I thought for a moment and looked at her. My heart wrenched as a tear slid down her face. I took the Happiness Faerie plushie that was on the ground.

     “My friend the Happiness Faerie says that you shouldn’t miss someone until they are gone.” The Happiness Faerie danced around.

     She smiled and tried not to laugh. “The Happiness Faerie isn’t real.”

     “Then I’m not real.”

     She poked me.


     “See. You flinched, so you’re real.”

     “My friend the Jelly Chomby on the Infinite Plane of Jelly once told me that the more you know how fast a jelly blob is moving the less you know how fast you are moving.” I paused for a moment. “What he meant was that the more you pay attention to something else the less you pay attention to yourself and the more attention you pay to yourself the less attention you pay to something else. It’s the Jelly Blob Rule.”

     “You met a Jelly Chomby?” she asked.

     “Yep. In my dreams.”

     “You have very smart dreams.”

     “What do you dream about?”


     “Flying is nice.”

     “Leite’s best friend can fly. She is an Eyrie. Tanin got to fly with her older brother. Mom says no more flying. It’s not fair.”

     “Well, Tanin is older than you.”

     “By a minute!”

     She lowered her voice and covered her mouth and the mouth on the plushie she was holding. A pair of snowy paws shuffled by, paused by the doorway, and continued. The paws returned a moment later, paused again, and continued. A voice slipped in from down the hall, “Have you seen Minde anywhere?”

     “No,” someone apparently annoyed replied.

     “You’re her twin brother.”

     “So! You’re her o’der sister. You should know.”

     “Why are you mad at me?”

     “You and Arromi are going away for t’e summer and you guys are taking Arromi’s o’der brot’er wif you.”

     “Weiden’s not going.”


     “Is Minde mad at me too?”


     A pair of brown feet skittered along the hardwood flooring of the hallway followed by the swish of a blue-striped tail. The pair of snowy feet returned from the same direction.

     “She’s looking for you,” I whispered.

     “I know,” she replied casually. “I don’t want her to find me. Then she can’t say goodbye. If she can’t say goodbye, then she can’t leave.”

     “She’s coming back.”

     “But I don’t want her to leave.”

     She quieted again.

     “Mom, have you seen Minde?”

     “No, Snowberry. Have you tried looking in her room?”

     “She’s not there.”

     “Did you ask Tanin?”

     “He doesn’t know.”

     “Then she’s probably in her room.”

     “No! She’s going to find me!” she whispered. She placed a wall of plushies in front of her.

     The snowy feet shuffled into the room and stopped. A paw reached forward for the Baby Xweetok plushie.

     “Hello, ZeeZee. Have you seen Minde?”


     “Is Minde hiding under the bed with you?”


     “Is Minde mad at me?”


     “Oh. I was going to ask Minde if she wanted to go out for jelly beans before I left.”

     “You can’t go!” She pushed aside the Happiness Faerie and Faerie Slorg plushies.

     A snowy head looked under the bed at the lone Yellow Xweetok and the two plushies next to her. The Snow Xweetok placed the Baby Xweetok plushie next to the Yellow Xweetok and took the Faerie Slorg plushie.

     “My friend the chocolatier says jelly beans are beneficial to little yellow Xweetoks who want to grow up like their big sister and little yellow Xweetoks shouldn’t be hiding alone under her bed.” The Faerie Slorg plushie jumped up and down. “They should eat lots and lots of the gelatinous confections especially when treated by their older sister because they make smile and chase sad away. It’s the Minde Rule.”

     The Happiness Faerie plushie nodded.

     The Faerie Slorg plushie continued, “there is no effect to which it is known the enjoyment of an exceptionally delectable gelatinous confection when treated by an older sister as it is many times the sweeter therefore it has been proven thus by a xweetok we shall refer to as m”

     “Nooo,” she replied. “I just like spending time with my big sister.”

The End

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