Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 177,384,943 Issue: 309 | 14th day of Gathering, Y9
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Adventures of Hungry Skeith: Hunt for the Candychan


by twocent

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On the prowl...

      I had been trying for months now to locate the petpet. I crossed the desert, avoided pirates, swam in the deepest of oceans, and had to search the clouds before I picked up its trail again. Some silly Neopians had talked casually of the elusive, and supposedly quite delicious, creature’s whereabouts. So here I was, stalking silently through the Ice Caves.

      The Candychan...

      Oh, how I crave it. Neopians seem to think it merely a mystical creature of tale - a scrumptious peppermint candy cane with wings - but I knew better. At my day job, a Neopian had spoken of the creature. Of how the Neopians worshipped its ethereal beauty with cards and sliding puzzles, but how they failed to realize its existence. Its true majestic prowess.

      Cakes and ice creams sufficed just fine at the factory, but they lack that pepperminty goodness that I so crave. And the Candychan will fulfill all my minty desires, beyond all my wildest dreams.

      At least that is what Florg said, and he spends all day eating petpets, so he would know, right?

      Well, our previous conversations of speaking wistfully about hunting this wondrous petpet had turned sour. We both are on the hunt, fighting to become the first one to capture it in all its gloriousness.

      Creeping softly around the Scratch Card Kiosk, I peeked ahead into the darkness. There lay the Snowager. Best not to disturb it.

      quiet... quiet... quiet... GRRRRRRUMMMMBBLEEEE.

      AH!!! Run away, run away!!! The Snowager reared its head and fired an icy blast in my direction. I leaped wildly into the air, diving in a reckless, feral way, and emerged...

      ...unscathed. I had made it. After days spent climbing Terror Mountain, I finally arrived on top of the mountain.

      The sunshine hit my face, and all I could think was... need food. Ugh, I suppose I am not called Hungry Skeith for nothing. I would tell you my real name, but that is a story unto itself.

      I stopped by the Super Happy Icy Fun Snow Shop, and purchased one of all the available Chia Pops. Mmmm, Snowberry. It always puts me in just such a good mood, I could just...

      Gah!

      “Sir? You’re not allowed to sleep in the shop. I am going to have to ask you to leave,” the yellow Lenny said, quite firmly, actually.

      Oh, and sad. My other chia pops had melted while I dozed. I threw them into the trash while I left the shop. I stretched and let out a large yawn. Hmm, I need to relax more often, but I need to remain wary. Or else Florg will get it first, and I will have sacrificed so much time for no return. Fruitless quests are not fun. But, then again, fruit in general isn't fun. But, I shook my head, to get my wandering mind to reel itself back in, I need to evaluate the situation at hand. So, what are my options?

      I scanned the horizon, and saw a Garage Sale going on. Perhaps, if nothing else, the sellers will have some idea of where the elusive Candychan may be hiding.

      Shuffling quickly through the snow, I noticed another building on my right. It was a cute, tiny, little thing. Oh, a Toy Repair Shop. That is good for all the little young pets. It is always so sad when your favorite toy gets horribly mangled. Why, I remember, when I was just a little Skeith, my first gumball machine...

      Is that...? Yes. I saw it.

      Leaping into action, I barged through the door. Gonna get you. Gonna get you...

      RAWRRR!!!

      I sank my teeth into it. Finally, you delicious...

      Cotton?

      “Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?” the Lupe named, according to his tag, Donny said.

      I stared down at the plushie. Oh, how the Neopians worship the Candychan. They even have plushies for it. What else? Action figures? If only they knew... I clutched the plushie wistfully, and let my mind wander to imagine the grace of the mint green wings, soon to be sticking out of my mouth...

      I peeked open an eye, and oh, he looked really mad. I mumbled something about needing to buy Itchy Scratchy Cream, shoved the plushie back into his hands, and quickly escaped the shop.

      As I ran out onto the mountain side, a melancholy feeling emerged somewhere inside me. I had made a huge fool out of myself, and for what? It just felt very... surreal. Like I'd be better off at the factory, downing chocolate cake and strawberry ice cream.

     A clear voice inside of me told me what I should've known before I even came here. I do not think it is here. I felt defeated. It just came down on me, what a waste of time this all must be. I had better return to Neopia Central, before they give away my job.

      It started to snow. I shivered and wished I had spent all day eating cakes, like usual. Funny how a boring life can be so missed, at times.

      I poked around for another hour, and finally decided that I was right; it would be better to leave. I slushed back down the mountain, creeped softly by the now sleeping Snowager again, and came out in Snowy Valley.

      Smack!

      I looked down into my hands, and saw the Ettaphant Bouncy Ball that had hit me just as I emerged from the Ice Caves.

      “Excuse me, sir,” a squeaky voice said. “Sorry for hitting you. Can we have our ball back, please, sir?”

      I peered over the ball, and saw a group of petpets. An Abominable Snowball, a Felf, a Garooda, a Ona, and in the front of them, the Candychan.

      I bent down to its level, and gazed at it, examining it closely. It did not look the least bit like a peppermint. It looked like a real petpet. It smiled shyly, and in that moment, I knew I’d wasted my time. I could not even bring myself to nibble at it. It was beyond cute, beyond merely lovable; it was absolutely endearing.

      “Ah, so you found it, Hungry Skeith. Good work. We can share it, in all its delectable goodness...”

      FLORG!

      The petpets screamed and shook in terror, but they could not bring themselves to escape Florg’s deadly captivating gaze.

      He leaped forward, and clutched his paws around the precious petpet... but it escaped his grasp, and ran away with his friends to cower behind the Ice Cream Cart.

      My teeth had sunk into Florg’s back, my claws dug into his feet.

      No words had to be mentioned. He knew I would not let him harm the charming, elusive petpet. I also knew that I would have to pay for my actions later, or else make him regret his actions a second time. It is hard to know the outcome. Depends on how much cake I have eaten beforehand.

      I had had enough of this adventure. But before I was going to make the long journey back to Neopia Central, I bought the petpets Mint Explosion Ice Lollies. Mint is always delish. And is much better when you get to enjoy it while watching some carefree petpets get caught up in a game of Gormball.

The End

 
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