The most fantastic thing in the universe! Circulation: 177,384,943 Issue: 309 | 14th day of Gathering, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

The Pile of Soot: The Guide to Neopia's Lab Petpet


by felineprince

--------

It's your first day at the petpet lab with your purple Triffin. The Kookith scientist in charge says something to your Triffin you can't understand, then positions it in front of the ray. Your excitement builds. What will you get? A krawk? A cyodrake? A fearsome meepit? ZAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!

Now you look down on your cherished McFluffy and your jaw drops. His transformation is simply too much to comprehend. He is now a...

Pile of Soot.

All those Neopoints spent buying him, painting him, now wasted. You fall on the ground and begin to weep for your poor, poor McFluffy.

Alright reader, maybe I'm exaggerating "a tad" on your emotional reactions. But still, it's sad to lose your petpet. You probably just want to throw that pile of soot away right now, huh? But don't! Piles of Soot make great petpets, if only you give them the chance. They may be even better than your old McFluffy. *dodges angry McFluffy-loving mob* Or not. Anyway, I'm here to tell you all about your new soot petpet, how to care for it, toys for it, and feeding it, and what NOT to do with it.

Let's start with the number 1 rule:

DO NOT SNEEZE.

For if you do, your poor little pile of soot will be blown away in a whirl of dust, and you won't have ANY McFluffy left. *sniff* If your pet has allergies, you might have to give McFluffy to someone else.

Now that that's out of the way, let's start with the basics.

PLAY TIME

Now it would seem that a Pile of Soot could not play at all; however, this is not true at all. Piles of Soot love to play, and are eager to do so. There are several activities your pets can do with them, including:

1. Kacheek Seek. This is probably the safest of the three. Piles of Soot actually prove to be extremely good at this, due to their ability to spread themselves out over every inch of the house, disguised as household dust. However, this game may prove very tedious for you pet, as it's hard to tell the difference between petpet dust and normal dust. Game may last one to three months.

2. Dustballing. This is a sort of daredevil sport Piles of Soot play. All your pet has to do is roll your petpet up in a ball, much like a snowball, and throw them as far as they can. It is a little dangerous, because the Pile of Soot may be intercepted by a flying pet or a tree before they can make a safe landing, splattering them instantly.

3. Blanket tossing. Put the Pile of Soot on a blanket, and you and your pet can each grab an end and whip the blanket up, sending it flying up in the air. Of course, a breeze could come along and blow your petpet away, so this can be risky too.

FEEDING YOUR PETPET

All you have to do is gather cinders from your fireplace, and dump them on top of your Pile of Soot. This should be done once a week, but they only need it once a month. Ash from the Mystery Island Volcano is a good substitute, but never ever give them sand, as ingesting this will make them ignite, quite possibly destroying your Neohome in the process. Lesson Learned: unless you actually WANT to destroy your prized Neohome, keep the petpet a fair distance from sand at all times.

GROOMING

Grooming is a little difficult, due to the fact that Piles of Soot should NEVER EVER come in contact with water, which makes them dissolve into nothingness. Every five days, your Neopet should run a red long hair brush [Piles of Soot are fascinated with the color red] through the Pile of Soot, keeping its ashy body clean. Piles of Soot also start to lose their color after a while, so drizzle black nail varnish on them. And they start to smell mossy too, so spray them with perfume. [but not skunk perfume!]

COLORS

Sorry, Piles of Soot are lab petpets and can not be painted at all. But if you want to be positive, you could always dye it, clip fake wings on it [faerie], put a Santa hat on it [Christmas], or give it a devil horn headband [Halloween]. Not that it will fool anyone.

PETPETPETS

One good thing about Piles of Soot: Petpetpets can't suck their blood. It really doesn't matter what petpetpet you choose, so long as it's a good companion.

BATTLEDOME

Unfortunately, Piles of Soot cannot really attack, other than making other pets sneeze, and they are prone to being sucked up other pet's noses, so they really aren't fit for the Battledome. If you see it as an attack option in the Battledome, chase it away immediately.

TRAVELING

If you need to travel somewhere far away, you will need to find a way to carry your Pile of Soot, as they are not great travelers. You have two options:

1. Put it in a bottle

2. You can let the petpet separate and then spread all along your Neopet's fur. This is more comfortable for the Pile of Soot than the first option, but your Neopet will have a dirty appearance.

OTHER OPTIONS

So you still hate your Pile of Soot? Well, I really hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but if it’s what you really want... here are some *other* things you can do with your Pile of Soot.

1. Dye it a nice, sparkly shade of purple and say it’s a rare Battledome weapon! [Glittery Faerie Dust, anyone?]

2. Put it in a bottle and sell it to the Tombola Guy as an awesome booby prize!

3. Zap it under the lab ray again again and see what happens! [Hey, you never know ...]

4. Put it on your friend’s food and say it’s pepper. Then watch their face when they eat it!

5. Try to trade it to the Snowager in exchange for that cool Sword of Skardsen you’ve been wanting.

Well, that concludes this Article. Whether you believe it or not, Piles of Soot really do make good petpets. I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Pointless Nonsense - Times Writers
My idols!

by petfriendamy

---------

The Benefits of Having Jelly Walls
See, being poor isn't always bad!

by wirlhwind

---------

I've Got a Golden Ticket
Darn it! STILL no invite this year! What does it take to get invited to that darn Chocolate Ball anyway?

by shadowchamber

---------

Sloth's Time Machine: Part Two
"Yeah," the shadow Kyrii sighed. "But I just wish that something interesting would happen..."

Also by jamesuk2

by azellica




Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.